Hello Everybody-So Glad I Found You
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: somewhere, tx
Posts: 128
Hello Everybody-So Glad I Found You
Hi All,
I found this board while desparately trying to find more info about opiate withdrawals and read through @ 5 pages and here I am, throwing my sorry hat into the ring. I've never joined a forum like this before so please be patient as my hands are trying to do different things while I type this (shaking or did you already guess?).
I have been using poppy pod tea for about 10 yrs. While I have not seen any poppy users yet, I'm sure I'm in the right place as poppies contain all sorts of nasty things (morpheine, nubaine, you name it, it's like having many monkeys on your back alll at once) and causes all sorts of horrible problems when you try to stop.
Anyway, I started to taper off this garbage about 4 months ago and have not used any for about 9 days, 7 hours, 23 minutes, and 4 seconds. In its place I started using something called kratom because I'd seen something on the net that it helps with op w/d's. And it does work but it is short in duration. I have also used xanax which I have tapered down considerably (about 2 of the 1 mg/day).....I plan on stopping these in the next coupla days as well as I only have a few left and did not get them from a doc.
So far my biggest, most horrible problem (aside from wanting to put my head through the closest wall) is the no-sleep-whatsoever stuff. I have been taking otc sleep pills, ha ha what a laugh they are, and EVERY single morning by 4am I am up and sweating and feeling so anxious/frightened and I scream for help to nobody in particular. The only way I can stop that is to suck on a piece of the xanax as I have no wish to wake all my neighbors-they have lives and I don't, simple as that. They are productive and I am, and have been, a complete waste of space.
I can't afford a doctor (no insurance and no job at the moment either) and am so angry at myself for having gotten into this, I really hate myself and I've been asking God to please kill me everyday, every night. While I am not suicidal, I really think if I had a single pill placed in front of me that would end my life, I'd take it at this point.
Anyway, I just wanted to say hello and reach out to you. Again, this is the first time I'm reaching out and I hope someone reaches me. Thanks for listening to me.
I found this board while desparately trying to find more info about opiate withdrawals and read through @ 5 pages and here I am, throwing my sorry hat into the ring. I've never joined a forum like this before so please be patient as my hands are trying to do different things while I type this (shaking or did you already guess?).
I have been using poppy pod tea for about 10 yrs. While I have not seen any poppy users yet, I'm sure I'm in the right place as poppies contain all sorts of nasty things (morpheine, nubaine, you name it, it's like having many monkeys on your back alll at once) and causes all sorts of horrible problems when you try to stop.
Anyway, I started to taper off this garbage about 4 months ago and have not used any for about 9 days, 7 hours, 23 minutes, and 4 seconds. In its place I started using something called kratom because I'd seen something on the net that it helps with op w/d's. And it does work but it is short in duration. I have also used xanax which I have tapered down considerably (about 2 of the 1 mg/day).....I plan on stopping these in the next coupla days as well as I only have a few left and did not get them from a doc.
So far my biggest, most horrible problem (aside from wanting to put my head through the closest wall) is the no-sleep-whatsoever stuff. I have been taking otc sleep pills, ha ha what a laugh they are, and EVERY single morning by 4am I am up and sweating and feeling so anxious/frightened and I scream for help to nobody in particular. The only way I can stop that is to suck on a piece of the xanax as I have no wish to wake all my neighbors-they have lives and I don't, simple as that. They are productive and I am, and have been, a complete waste of space.
I can't afford a doctor (no insurance and no job at the moment either) and am so angry at myself for having gotten into this, I really hate myself and I've been asking God to please kill me everyday, every night. While I am not suicidal, I really think if I had a single pill placed in front of me that would end my life, I'd take it at this point.
Anyway, I just wanted to say hello and reach out to you. Again, this is the first time I'm reaching out and I hope someone reaches me. Thanks for listening to me.
MIND OF DESTRUCTIVE TASTE
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 744
(((opmloser))) I am so glad that you joined us here and so glad that you are reaching out. This is a great place full of support and information.
While I have never been on poppy pod tea, I have been addicted to heroin, benzos and a great, great assortment of opiate pain medication. <---which is the most recent. Complicating the matter is that I suffer from chronic pain conditions that leave me in a very, very tough situation. W/d's are an absolute nightmare as you know. I had the same issue, the most bothersome thing was not getting an ounce of sleep. This is something I've always had the hardest time getting back after kicking a drug. No sleep can really f*ck with your head in so many ways. I've heard quite a bit about this Kratom but am unfamiliar with it as I have never tried it personally.
Is there any way that you can get on Medicaid? That way you could have some medical assistance. Just a thought, not sure if you have tried..I'm on it myself.
I do not know you however you are NOT a waste of space. I am so sorry that you are struggling so much but if you ever need a listening ear, we are here and you can always PM me. I've dealt with similar feelings all my life as I have several mental illnesses in addition to the addiction. Keep coming back, post as much as you need to.
I am quite sure someone else will come along and be able to give you some solid advice, I'm not too good at this lol but I felt it was important to let you know that you are not alone anymore, we're here
(((())))
Jess
While I have never been on poppy pod tea, I have been addicted to heroin, benzos and a great, great assortment of opiate pain medication. <---which is the most recent. Complicating the matter is that I suffer from chronic pain conditions that leave me in a very, very tough situation. W/d's are an absolute nightmare as you know. I had the same issue, the most bothersome thing was not getting an ounce of sleep. This is something I've always had the hardest time getting back after kicking a drug. No sleep can really f*ck with your head in so many ways. I've heard quite a bit about this Kratom but am unfamiliar with it as I have never tried it personally.
Is there any way that you can get on Medicaid? That way you could have some medical assistance. Just a thought, not sure if you have tried..I'm on it myself.
I do not know you however you are NOT a waste of space. I am so sorry that you are struggling so much but if you ever need a listening ear, we are here and you can always PM me. I've dealt with similar feelings all my life as I have several mental illnesses in addition to the addiction. Keep coming back, post as much as you need to.
I am quite sure someone else will come along and be able to give you some solid advice, I'm not too good at this lol but I felt it was important to let you know that you are not alone anymore, we're here
(((())))
Jess
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,512
Please know that you can get through this.
I emphathize with how you feel, but you need to stop dumping on yourself and believe that you deserve a good life. You do!
I have no practical advice to offer about getting off the poppy seeds. I expect that the insomnia is temporary and will clear up as the days go by.
I emphathize with how you feel, but you need to stop dumping on yourself and believe that you deserve a good life. You do!
I have no practical advice to offer about getting off the poppy seeds. I expect that the insomnia is temporary and will clear up as the days go by.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: California
Posts: 624
You are absolutely not a waste of space! You see those 3 inches of text you wrote for your first posting? That's 3 SOLID INCHES of beautifully written, honest and compelling words, right there. I read them all. Twice. Anyone who can be as honest as you were just then deserves a wonderful life ahead. Keep at it!!
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