almay777

Hi everyone....still stuck trying to get day one. My problem with stopping cold turkey is I hate the withdrawals and anxiety that comes with it. For me that is the toughest part - those first 7 days are so tough. Obviously I know this because I have been here before.
I want to do this I am sick and tired of feeling ill all the time. In the main its like waiting to die. I hate the fear of what might be going on inside my body as a direct result of the poison I have been shoving down it :-(
I am literally going to take today 1 hour at a time and pray by the time I go to bed I will have my day one. Nearly 13 hours since my last drink and lets say I have felt better.
I am going to come on here every single day and instead of lurking with a glass of wine in my hand, I am going to have a cup of tea and just vent. Vent my fears, my frustrations and feelings in general.
I am most certainly not looking forward to the next 3 weeks, knowing what my body is going to have to endure to get rid of the toxins, but I know once I have climbed this hill it will be easier. Just looking for support and a constant reminder that I am not the only person who has ever felt like this. Thanks for reading!

jessiecat777

I am not a doctor by any means...but maybe someone on here can help you with what to expect from quitting alcohol....i for one had the dt s bad...and almost died...it is no joke!!! some people don't see alcohol as a drug...i for one do...just a legalized form so it makes it hard to really see it for what it is....especially because it is so socially excepted...but it is scary to come off of it and very dangerous...more dangerous than some unlegal drugs...so go figure...talk to a doctor though...and BE HONEST with him/her and you'll feel better soon i hope...just remember ...this too shall pass....and the serenity prayer helped me in my past feel a bit better as well.
I am here for you!!!! and welcome

Zini

You're definitely not the only one who's felt like that - especially not here. Welcome and best of luck to you.

SSIL75

Almay is rehab an option for you? IP or IOP? are you hooked up with AA at all? It's torturous to keep doing this over and over

ulverston

hi almay and welcome.
i can fully understand what you are going through/it is terrible.

can you get to a walk in clinic or a doctor and get some meds to help with the wd.

as stated before it can be very dangerous to detox on your own...i know ive done it many times..

b vitamins are very helpfull and tons of water to flush the toxins out.
try to be strong and not give into the urge to drink.
you will only wake up back at square one..
you have 13 hrs ,,,thats a good start.
usually after 3 days you will feel an awful lot better.
best of luck to you.
remember you never have to go through this again....make this your last hell

jessiecat777

Thanks for the advice that you posted for almay.....i think i really need to replace all my pepsis for bottles of water.....I seem not ready to give up that sudsy goodness though lol
and you are sooo right!!!!
we never have to feel that way ever again
Thank God!!!!

almay777

Thanks for your replies - Am finding things tough at the moment. Keep reminding myself why I want to do this....I have a big long list but dont we all. Right now I just want to get better. I really hope and pray this is my day one.

SSIL75

Just be sure you're setting yourself up for success. I really think outside help is necessary at this point

LaFemme

Hi almay!

I really feel for you and remember what its like. I had a thousand day 1's always dreading that seemingly insurmountable withdrawal period. I once got 4 days and used lack of sleep as an excuse to drink again. The thing is in hindsight I realize that it was the alcoholic voice telling me how insurmountable getting sober was...it was my alcoholic voice telling me I couldn't have one more sleepless night.

You can do this...recognize the alcoholic voice is not your voice...it belongs to the monster. And you are stronger and better than it.

Hugs.

P.s. don't hesitate to get help if you need it

Missy7

Stay in touch! Each day is better than the last. I'm on day nine. That quickly the physical part is over. Heck it's over in two or three days. It's like the flu. But I would go to work. I wouldn't stay home--try to be as busy as you can, eat what you want, and go to bed early. Hang in there. Brighter days are coming.

Dee74

I'm with everyone else here Almay - if withdrawal is that rough or scary for you, see a Doctor- get some help.

I also think SSIL's suggestion is a good one. Have you considered rehab?

I hate to see you going round in this loop.
I know its scary to think of, but I really think it's time for you to do something different.

D

Zebra1275

Get some medical help, even if you just go to a "prompt care" clinic. Tell them what you are doing and they will likely give you some Valium to assist with the withdrawal. It will be much easier with medication.

EmeraldRose

There sure are alot more reasons to remain sober than to drink. I pulled many day ones through my last 30 years. Every one was just a thought. Now I know that you have to take action on that thought. I know I can't drink and I take the actions necessary not to. Keep busy, walk, fiddle in the kitchen making food, rearrange silverware or refold laundry...when I get crazy I take my dog and groom him (I am a dog groomer) he's lucky he has any hair left at all! Poor thing is so patient with me. LOL
Stay here for hours on end. This is a good way to keep the 'don't drink' thought fresh in your head -all the time. It's when we get stale and lonely that the stinkin thinkin returns. Good Luck today...take it minute by minute...just typing that reminded me of the Doobie Bros.

But minute by minute by minute by minute
I keep holding on
Oh, minute by minute by minute by minute
I keep holding on

Itchy

Like all of us, I started in despair of having the willpower, and in desperation reached out like you are doing now too. If you are desperate enough, and have had enough, you will say ENOUGH!
And whatever it takes, you will find enough.

crittery

We're all in the same boat Almay, I know I feel pretty seedy. Take Ulverston's advice and see a GP, they will know what's best for you.

This is what I take daily, spread out with meals:

1 vitamin B for my memory
1 vitamin E for my heart
2 strong fish oil capsules for my brain
and a men's multi-vitamin.

All the best and I hope this is the last time you'll have to go through withdrawals!

I used that stuff heaps in high school, and loved the caffeine buzz from drinking a whole family sized bottle in one night. Helped me finish some assignments that I'd left to the last minute! I think this was a major warning that I would end up being some sort of drug addict in the future. I replace it with orange juice, water or milk these days because that stuff is really bad for your teeth. But I still love the taste and drink it every now and then when I feel like I deserve a treat. Tastes better than coke!

almay777

Hi everyone. Ok, so I havent got day 1 yet - still! And I hate this loop too Dee. Am still not giving up - know i can do this. I might be scared and feel lonely but I truly know what a great place this is and that you are all here. I know this as I had 69 days sober before Xmas and could not have achieved this without you. My attititude right now is this...I feel rubbish and tired, I have a stomach ache and my left eye keeps twiching...my face feels bloated and my eyes sting; I could have a drink or 6 and all this would go away, until the drink wears off then here i am again. If i do not drink today then each day things will get a little bit easier, a little bit better, and I will start to feel better. Hanging on to this for today and hope tomorrow I'm on day 2.

SSIL75

Almay why aren't you getting help IRL? Your GP could give you some valium to help you through the withdrawals. AA people could give you phone numbers for moral support. You're not alone!

almay777

SSIL75 - thanks for posting still and reminding me that no one gets prizes for doing this alone :-). I would love to go into detox, or try something to ease withdrawals. The reason I feel none of this is an option for me is I have a 7 year old son and a full time job. I am on my own with my son - his Dad took off when he was 5 months old. So basically I'm all his got! And he deserves more then a drunk for a mother. I am a functioning alcholic and to date have managed to sheild him from the evils of alcohol.
But just recently have noticed myself starting to snap at him in the mornings because I am always so hungover. He doesnt get enough of my time as I would rather spend it in the kitchen drinking instead of engaging with him. I have loads of reasons why I want to stop; for him and me.
I feel the only support I have is SR. I have no one to look after my son so this limits oppurtunities for face to face meetings.
This place to me is my only life line. My only way to communicate with people who know what I am going through.
Please do not give up on me I havent given up on myself yet and thats the truth. Still havent drunk today and am fighting to keep it that way.

Lenina

almay,

Is there any way you could get someone to look after your precious son for a few days so you could do an inpatient detox? I think there are some that are only a few days long, just for the detox. I worry about you doing this at home as it can be dangerous as well as uncomfortable.

Have you looked into any programs, like AA or Life Ring? I found I really needed a plan to stay sober.

Love,

Lenina

artsoul

Your post reminds me so much of the way my mornings used to be... the anxiety and the irritability especially. It's a horrible vicious cycle.

Sometimes I had to hold on tight to the steering wheel and think "just get through this" while driving my kids to school. It was a major challenge getting out of bed. Heaven forbid if some little crisis came up, like they couldn't find their shoes or came down with a fever. I felt like I was maxed out ALL the time.

I wish I could come over and babysit - yes, you have a son who depends on you, but you need to take care of yourself first. Every drink just adds to the misery.

We're not giving up on you almay - don't ever think that........