Soberween

Remember that one day at a time works both ways. You can say "oh, I'll just drink today and then quit tomorrow." This turned into five years for me. Five years of additional trauma to my body (especially my liver), five years of feeling emotionally depleted, five years of money thrown away, etc.

I despise the first week of sobriety. I have had many of these and I finally realized I was completely stagnant in that I would quickly relapse and have to do day one over and over. I hate the first day the most because I'm usually hungover so any pain or emotion is greatly exacerbated due to the toxic chemicals still in my system. Try to make the first day an extremely busy day where you have no option to drink and also eat whatever you want (if you can get anything down that is.) Pamper yourself.

These are just the physical things you can do to quit. Also, fulfill yourself spiritually in whatever way works for you. Read a book about addiction, go to an AA meeting, come here, etc.

SSIL75

I will never give up on you. We started this journey around the same time.

OK so you COULD go to the GP and get something to help with the withdrawals and help to get it 'out there' to give yourself some accountability.

Then - did you break up with your boyfriend? I think you were in a bad relationship. Either way though you could take the money you spend on alcohol and put it towards a babysitter.

Look, I did this 'alone' so I know it can be done. But honestly I'm pregnant and I know that was a huge help. It was an extra stop between me and alcohol. Then in the absence of alcohol I could work on recovery. Sobriety and recovery are not the same thing.

Anyway though part of why in the past I never sought outside help was because I wanted the 'out' of failure. Might that be true for you? Even a little? If you never tell your doctor then he doesn't have to know if you relapse. If you never go to an AA meeting then there need not be any accountability there, either.

Just be careful that YOU are in control here and not the alcoholic. The two can be virtually indistinguishable at times.

crittery

It's better to do it without the valium IMO as you can end up dependant on that instead of the alcohol... even worse, you could end up hooked on both! Just keep trying, you've got the right idea. We're here for you and l wish you the best for you and your son.

almay777

Morning everyone. SSIL75 - my ex partner moved out 2 weeks ago. I was really depressed with him so I can only see this as a positive although money is really tight now etc.
Right, I know this is the smallest step.....and i really should not brag......but today is DAY 2 and I am really really happy. Ok, I did not sleep last night, and sweat all night which was not particulary pleasent. But despite all this I feel so much better without a hangover. Looking forward to day 3!

SomethingBetter

almay, I was just the same I could never hurdle those first few days, I never thought I'd be here to say I am still sober for 60 days. It is possible, Ive seen money issues, sleep issues, work issues all these issues were present before but it is too easy to try and wash them away (or so we think) but then you are back to square one with all these issues.

Hang in there, I know you can do it...

Dee74

I'm really glad to see you're on Day 2 Almay

D

CarolD

Good for you...

SSIL75

Very glad to hear it's Day 2!!! and that you are moving on from your relationship.

almay777

I work in the city - went for a walk over London bridge lunchtime - amazing day with loads of sun and blue sky. Then I bought a sandwich and sat opposite...... A PUB! People standing in the sun drinking wine and beer and me feeling anxious and still quite poorly from what I was drinking. That was tough. Just reminded myself when their drink wears off they will feel larthargic and ropey...whereas I doubt I will have the same consequences with the bottle of fizzy water and diet coke I opted for instead :-). Already thinking arhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...can I really stay sober forever? Then reminded myself that the alternative is to carry on until I'm dead - until i feel so ill that I lose what little I have left! When put like that, the choice not to drink today has suddenly become a whole lot easier. Sorry for yet another post....just venting!

OklaBH

beer and wine commercials do that to me. everyone is looking good, drinking, having fun, total fellowship, a great celebration. What they should show is guys fighting, girls who are so dehydrated their face has absorbed their makeup, jealous wives, people walking away crying, others in the group spilling the inner most secrets to people they just met...and the next day waking up sick, depressed with dried vomit on your chin.

almay777

I like the advert on TV that shows a girl smearing her make-up over her face, throwing up in a sink and rubbing it in her hair, ripping her skirt and snapping the heal off one of her shoes...then stating 'You wouldnt start a night out like this, why end it like this?' So true.

Lenina

"What Did I Do Last Night?" is the show I think you're talking about, almay. That's the one that's closer to the reality of drinking for us.

And congrats on making Day 2. One way I always screwed myself up was to think about not drinking forever. I know I can't drink again now. I fully accept that but mostly I focus on just not drinking for today.

Love,

Lenina

indakut

Congrats on Day 2 Almay! Just take it hour by hour and day by day! You can do it!

almay777

Is anyone out there? Struggling...muscles feel sore and swollen...tired but cannot sleep...feel bad. Have not drank and do not have any alcohol in the house. Just feeling down and scared.

Marria

I hope you feel better soon and that you get some sleep Almay777.
It's a big change and it is scary but you're not alone... I'm sending you my support and hoping that the night will pass quickly. Tomorrow you'll be on day 3 and feeling stronger I'm sure. All the best...

almay777

Thank you for replying. Just feel really alone and down. Want the first 7 days of hell to be over. 5 more days and counting so I can start to feel better.x

almay777

Not sure how I managed this but on day 3. Slept last night but do not feel like I did. Feel abit fuzzy, muscles still ache and face still feels puffy. Eyes starting to look a bit clearer. Think today is going to be a real challenge...Sun is shining, loads of boring houswork and shopping to do, mum coming round and she has a problem with drink that she is not prepared to resolve. sigh. Intend to read on here alot today. Fingers and toes a crossed tomorrow will be day 4.

OklaBH

When I first quit I was edgy and anxious for awhile. Have you consulted a doctor about drinking and quitting?

SSIL75

Sobriety is a treat, it really is. Try to shift the focus from the deprivation of not drinking to the pleasure of not drinking. I know withdrawal totally sucks but you were on the right track when you were enjoying your diet coke. What can you add to today that you can enjoy the little pleasures?

A beautiful day is best enjoyed SOBER. Tomorrow will be day 4 because you want to be sober more than you want to be drunk.

Your alcoholic mother coming over? Not an option. Seriously. You can't be around a drinker like that right now. I would call that a serious threat/challenge to your sobriety (and I live with a drinker. I'm not one of the 'avoid wet people/places' things). But you have had so many relapses. Time to pull out all the stops and put yourself FIRST.

Unless you can use her as a babysitter while you go to a meeting

Lenina

almay,

I'm pulling for you today. Just focus on today. Do you have time to get some books on recovery? CarolD always recommends "Under the Influence" and it's a good book. You might want something to keep you on the right track.

Love,

Lenina