the 12 steps
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Hanford CA
Posts: 14
Originally Posted by FrothyJay 
I think it's great that you're reaching out for some feedback.
While the directions for the steps are in the Big Book of AA, I believe it's hard to do without a sponsor or teacher who's had an experience with the work. I can't say it's impossible, but I don't know many people who've done the work without a sponsor. A lot of questions come up-- and certain directions, particularly around the 4th step, require some examples, context, etc.
Are you physically unable to go to meetings?
While the directions for the steps are in the Big Book of AA, I believe it's hard to do without a sponsor or teacher who's had an experience with the work. I can't say it's impossible, but I don't know many people who've done the work without a sponsor. A lot of questions come up-- and certain directions, particularly around the 4th step, require some examples, context, etc.
Are you physically unable to go to meetings?
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Venus, Space
Posts: 757
If you already have a relationship with this person and your circumstances are such that physically attending meetings is not possible (I know here in the bay area there are some meetings where mothers with infants are welcomed) then in my opinion it would be better to continue on with this person. You already have an in-person connection established and it's not unheard of to have a long distance sponsor. I know several people that have sponsees in various parts of the country because they or their sponsees have moved and they are comfortable with each other and don't want to end the connection.
in the end working the steps with your same sponsor via phone, letters & email is exponentially better than not finishing the steps at all. You can always do the steps again with somebody face-to-face when the opportunity presents itself down the road (I'm of the mindset that steps 1-9 are not to be worked only once but repeated over time, others believe in sticking to 10-12 after doing 1-9 once, it's a matter of preference). And you'll get SO much more out of the process than by trying to do them yourself. Especially considering the main focus of the 5th step is admitting to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs and you'll probably appreciate your sponsors insight on all the other steps as well. Go for it!
And welcome to SR.
in the end working the steps with your same sponsor via phone, letters & email is exponentially better than not finishing the steps at all. You can always do the steps again with somebody face-to-face when the opportunity presents itself down the road (I'm of the mindset that steps 1-9 are not to be worked only once but repeated over time, others believe in sticking to 10-12 after doing 1-9 once, it's a matter of preference). And you'll get SO much more out of the process than by trying to do them yourself. Especially considering the main focus of the 5th step is admitting to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs and you'll probably appreciate your sponsors insight on all the other steps as well. Go for it!
And welcome to SR.
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