Alcoholic Wife
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 22
I hit my first meeting last Thurs and I am going tonight and Thurs. I am only obsessed with the behavior because I see the damage it caused her, her brother, and now our family. I want the best for the kids and me. What the best is may be foreign to me because of the disfunction I have been participating in for so long and my distorted view of marriage and loyalty. That is the reason for the posts and the questions.
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 1,028
I was typing on my IPAD on my first post! LOL Sorry, I just read it and started laughing - not at your situation just at the corrections that dumb thing makes on it's own. Oh well. I'm glad you are going to meetings. The worst thing in the world is feeling alone and then not taking any action to make things better for you and your family.
Your wife will come around, we all do and if we don't it's certain death or well I guess we become all ALONE. Eventually it does come to a stop in some way. Hopefully for your family she will become desperate enough to seek real help and support. There will be relapses and the thoughts like, "I can once again drink like a normal person because I went 3 days without a drink." Or "wow 3 months without drinking, I can't be an alcoholic..." Oh I just love those insane thoughts! I had/have them all and more!
I must have the most patient husband (aside from you) because he watched me to the point where he was trying to figure out if he should have a plan in place in the event that I died from some rediculous accident or heart attack/stroke, he didn't know.
I still have crazy thinking. I had gotten to 3months and drank!!! I thought, wow look how long I've gone without a drink, I feel great, I think I'll have a drink! I was back in AA the next day with my tail between my legs. Drinking (as usual) was the worst idea - I was sick and so humbled. I'm telling you this because the change in thinking (alcoholic thinking) is something that takes 24/7 self monitoring. We alcoholics aren't like you but boy do we wish we could be!!!!
Keep helping yourself! Your kids willl be so much better for it, not to mention you. No matter what focus on you and the healthier you get so will the health of your family improve.
Keep us posted and let us know if you need support.
Your wife will come around, we all do and if we don't it's certain death or well I guess we become all ALONE. Eventually it does come to a stop in some way. Hopefully for your family she will become desperate enough to seek real help and support. There will be relapses and the thoughts like, "I can once again drink like a normal person because I went 3 days without a drink." Or "wow 3 months without drinking, I can't be an alcoholic..." Oh I just love those insane thoughts! I had/have them all and more!
I must have the most patient husband (aside from you) because he watched me to the point where he was trying to figure out if he should have a plan in place in the event that I died from some rediculous accident or heart attack/stroke, he didn't know.
I still have crazy thinking. I had gotten to 3months and drank!!! I thought, wow look how long I've gone without a drink, I feel great, I think I'll have a drink! I was back in AA the next day with my tail between my legs. Drinking (as usual) was the worst idea - I was sick and so humbled. I'm telling you this because the change in thinking (alcoholic thinking) is something that takes 24/7 self monitoring. We alcoholics aren't like you but boy do we wish we could be!!!!
Keep helping yourself! Your kids willl be so much better for it, not to mention you. No matter what focus on you and the healthier you get so will the health of your family improve.
Keep us posted and let us know if you need support.
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Boston,Ma
Posts: 50
Byrank,
I feel for you man. I know this sucks and unfortunately there's no book on what's going to happen next.
Trust your gut. You'll know if/when she has come to terms with this disease.
Stay strong
SH
I feel for you man. I know this sucks and unfortunately there's no book on what's going to happen next.
Trust your gut. You'll know if/when she has come to terms with this disease.
Stay strong
SH
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