dancer1

I'm now 14 days sober and the last couple of days I feel I have been struggling with some depression. I felt great the first 12 days or so but all of sudden the reality of what I am in for has started to really sink in. Last night my husband too me to a concert that he had bought tickets to awhile back to a group that I really wanted to see. Normally I would be up and dancing the night away with him but I was utterly miserable. I didn't want to be there and at one point excused my self to the restroom to have a good cry. Is this something that any of you have experienced? I feel very sad. I'm not on an anti-depressant and don't want to be at this point in time. I do take Lexapro for anxiety and that helps some. I guess this must be part of the grieving process I have to go through due to a "loss". Any thoughts on this would be appreciated. I tried to explain to my hubby this morning what I was going through and he is so supportive but still having a hard time understanding me. I don't blame him since I am having a hard time understanding me also!

least

Early sobriety can be a roller coaster of emotions, up and down and scary sometimes. It should smooth out with time. If it doesn't, or feels worse, do talk to your doctor or counselor about it. It will get better, don't give up.

AmericanGirl

Hi Dancer1,

For me, there were a LOT of ups and downs the first few months of sobriety. I think if it continues to concern you, you should definitely seek help from a counselor, therapist or other mental health professional. Seeking help is a good thing to do.

I think many people here experienced mourning booze. I know I did. Even though I hated it and it had made my life miserable, I still had a hard time wrapping my head around "forever" and I did cry too, partly because I was overwhelmed by accepting the reality of my situation. But I knew quitting was the right thing to do for me --the only real choice to live a happy life -- and kept up my strength.. I don't mourn it anymore. I also think for me there were moments when I realized that sobriety wasn't going to instantly make everything better and that was hard for me to deal with, but even though the changes are sometimes slow they are definitely worth while.

14 days is a lot to be proud of, but remember, it is still early. I think you should be patient with yourself now and let yourself have these ups and downs. Glad you're here.

AG

dancer1

Thank you, American Girl. I know that quitting was the right decision but I'm still not happy about it. I didn't have any physical withdrawals because I never got to the point where I felt I "needed" a drink. My problem was when I started I could not limit it at all. I am seeing a counselor once a week and strange as it may seem, I felt great when I saw her on Thursday but Friday came and I was really struggling. I think it might have been because I always looked forward to Friday and the weekend to let loose and have a good time. The reality that I wasn't going to do that I think took it's toll on me and came crashing down. Thanks for letting me know that it is not so unusual and that it will get better. See you on the other side!!!

BobGT

Hi dancer1. I'm sorry you are going through some hard times. I went through some emotional ups and downs in early sobriety, but the downs were not as severe as those you are having. I would recommend seeing your doctor. Be sure to tell him/her the whole story. Best wishes.

Aysha

Early recovery is full of emotional meltdowns. At least for me it is. I have been killing my senses for so many years. Now they all want to surface at once.
Thats why it is important to have a support team. '
People you can dump on that will just listen sometimes without tryin gto figure you out. Thats what works for me.
Hang tight. It will get better.

Surlyredhead

Exactly!!

ReadyAndAble

Yeah, lots of ups and downs for me in the early period. Grieving now and then for the old life (the romanticized version of course, not the reality of regret, hopelessness, fatigue, and a general feeling of despair). I had major highs too, which made the lows seem more intense. It really smoothed out after a while.

As for this:

You mean freedom, contentment, gratitude, and a general feeling of redemption? Because in the long run, I think that's reality of what you're in for...

artsoul

Hi dancer - it will get better, so hang in there.....:ghug3

Our brains are readjusting and on top of that there's all kind of emotions...... it's just not a totally smooth ride all the time. I remember moods and urges to drink hitting me out of the blue like someone took a baseball bat and ........

One thing I wish I had done during the first few months is to keep a mini-journal so that when I had a bad day, I could look back and see how many good days I'd had.

Another thing that helped me is to realize that everyone on this planet has really bad days too........ So for me it's about learning to get through them and being a stronger person for it.

Sorry it messed up your enjoyment of the concert, but there WILL be others and you'll love dancing sober........ just give it time!