Relapse...does it always happen?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: OH
Posts: 23
Relapse...does it always happen?
Hi, I have been reading a lot of posts from people that have been sober for quite some time and then post that they have just recently relapsed. I'm trying to understand how this can happen to someone who has been enjoying sobriety for so long. I have 11 days under my belt and feeling very positive about my future. I am concerned, however, what I might need to watch out for so I don't relapse. Is there anyone out there that has a significant time in sobriety that has never had a relapse? The only one's that I know personally was my mother and my brother. I hope that I walk the same path.
Stopping the Train...
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Sevierville, TN - in the valley of the Great Smoky Mountains
Posts: 978
I have a very good friend that is celebrating 17 yrs on the 21st of this month - no relapse. My last sponsor - 11 yrs in July - no relapse.
Relapse is NOT an accident. If I was working the program of NA the way I was taught - I never would have relapsed with almost 2 yrs clean. A relapse means there was a reservation, or certain things were not being done right to maintain that clean time. Just keep doing the right things - pray, read the literature, get a sponsor and work the steps, go to meetings, help others.
There will ALWAYS be "yets". I haven't done this yet to get my dope (yet) - or I didn't do it this way (yet) - or I didn't go to jail (yet) - and the list goes on. Doing the work and living the program will keep me from doing those "yets".
Relapse is NOT an accident. If I was working the program of NA the way I was taught - I never would have relapsed with almost 2 yrs clean. A relapse means there was a reservation, or certain things were not being done right to maintain that clean time. Just keep doing the right things - pray, read the literature, get a sponsor and work the steps, go to meetings, help others.
There will ALWAYS be "yets". I haven't done this yet to get my dope (yet) - or I didn't do it this way (yet) - or I didn't go to jail (yet) - and the list goes on. Doing the work and living the program will keep me from doing those "yets".
Groovy Dancer
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: The States
Posts: 4,751
A lot of people relapse, some people don't. A lot of reasons people do. Read around here and you'll see why.
Common reason is people thinking they can now drink normal and / or moderate. Let me tell you, you can't. So don't drink again thinking you can.
Remember why you stopped. Keep up with a support network. You can do this.
Common reason is people thinking they can now drink normal and / or moderate. Let me tell you, you can't. So don't drink again thinking you can.
Remember why you stopped. Keep up with a support network. You can do this.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Hi Dancer1
I know my fellow mods Anna and Carol have about 35 years between them...I have nearly 4...there are lots of other members here with many years sobriety.
Relapse is not inevitable bu any means....but I believe it takes a lot of regular maintenance to stay on the right path....never get complacent about what you need to do or take your sobriety for granted and you'll be ok
D
I know my fellow mods Anna and Carol have about 35 years between them...I have nearly 4...there are lots of other members here with many years sobriety.
Relapse is not inevitable bu any means....but I believe it takes a lot of regular maintenance to stay on the right path....never get complacent about what you need to do or take your sobriety for granted and you'll be ok
D
Looking For Myself...Sober
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
I have heard alot of people say that relapse is part of recovery. I really disagree with that.
Although I myself have never had more than 7 mos. I relapse alot.
If thats what you want to call it.
But my father has been sober 25 or so years and he never once relapsed. He was mandated to rehab and then meetings. He use to go to the bar everyday after work. Like for hours. Its amazing to me he just stopped like that.
I guess when you make up your mind enough, It happens.
My opinion is that it never has to happen if we really dont want it to.
Its good to relize it could happen if you dont maintain your recovery.
Although I myself have never had more than 7 mos. I relapse alot.
If thats what you want to call it.
But my father has been sober 25 or so years and he never once relapsed. He was mandated to rehab and then meetings. He use to go to the bar everyday after work. Like for hours. Its amazing to me he just stopped like that.
I guess when you make up your mind enough, It happens.
My opinion is that it never has to happen if we really dont want it to.
Its good to relize it could happen if you dont maintain your recovery.
Cause no harm
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Missouri
Posts: 596
Relapse happens when we forget...why we quit, how we felt after a binge, what we did to our loved ones, what was happening to our physical health.
I come here often to remember. Please do the same.
I come here often to remember. Please do the same.
RIP Maria
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: AR
Posts: 7,654
dancer1:
The reason I end up back on the opiates is due to a serious back injury. I don't want to take them and actually hate them when I'm on them. So I've been researching every thing I can to stay off of them.
I don't like being on them, but there are times my back is in so much pain, I forget how much I hate the opiates and start taking them again. It usually doesn't take me long to realize I need to get off of them though.
This is the reason I usually end up back on my DOC. It's not for the fun of it, getting high or for pure enjoyment. It's strictly for the pain I'm in from the back injury. If it wasn't for the back pain, I wouldn't even think about them.
I wish you the best in your recovery. It is well worth living a life off the drugs. I'm rounding on day 14 off of them again. As many times as I've been on and off of them, it should tell you, you can get off this stuff. And if you don't have any major pain issues, you should be able to stay off of your DOC.
TOD
The reason I end up back on the opiates is due to a serious back injury. I don't want to take them and actually hate them when I'm on them. So I've been researching every thing I can to stay off of them.
I don't like being on them, but there are times my back is in so much pain, I forget how much I hate the opiates and start taking them again. It usually doesn't take me long to realize I need to get off of them though.
This is the reason I usually end up back on my DOC. It's not for the fun of it, getting high or for pure enjoyment. It's strictly for the pain I'm in from the back injury. If it wasn't for the back pain, I wouldn't even think about them.
I wish you the best in your recovery. It is well worth living a life off the drugs. I'm rounding on day 14 off of them again. As many times as I've been on and off of them, it should tell you, you can get off this stuff. And if you don't have any major pain issues, you should be able to stay off of your DOC.
TOD
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: I'm exactly where I should be.
Posts: 1,889
I think relapsing also depends on your surroundings and situations. People that don't change their playmates and playgrounds may have more of an influence to relaspe. If your significant other still drinks or drugs and has stock hiding in the house -this will make it harder, as well.
Its common sense that can help us stay away from relapsing...like don't work at a bar, change jobs. Don't go to a friends party where you KNOW you'll be influenced. Stay away from temptation.
I relapsed ALOT before I said enough is enough and called a counseling service. I thought I could quit and stay quit. But it didn't work that way with no help. So I'd go back to my old habits. It took losing a new job for me to realize my life was starting to crumble.
36 days sober and no relapses...I have too much to do, too much to think about, a life to live, doggies to hug...!
Its common sense that can help us stay away from relapsing...like don't work at a bar, change jobs. Don't go to a friends party where you KNOW you'll be influenced. Stay away from temptation.
I relapsed ALOT before I said enough is enough and called a counseling service. I thought I could quit and stay quit. But it didn't work that way with no help. So I'd go back to my old habits. It took losing a new job for me to realize my life was starting to crumble.
36 days sober and no relapses...I have too much to do, too much to think about, a life to live, doggies to hug...!
Snarf Snarf
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: ATL
Posts: 835
I guess I kinda relapsed 5 years ago after 5 weeks without a drink, but I don't really consider that a relapse. I consider those 5 weeks basically just a break from drinking. This is because I wasn't really serious about recovery. I just wasn't drinking because other folks (mostly my girlfriend and mom) thought I was drinking too much. Once I started drinking again, it was full speed ahead.
This time around, I've made it 11+ months without a drink. But this time I'm actually serious about my recovery, and more importantly my life. Relapse isn't something I worry about one bit. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that drinking will absolutely ruin my life, so that pretty much takes any worry or anxiety about relapse off the table. I simply know that drinking is not an option for me, so relapse doesn't even enter my thoughts. And it's such a freedom to not be burdened by that.
This time around, I've made it 11+ months without a drink. But this time I'm actually serious about my recovery, and more importantly my life. Relapse isn't something I worry about one bit. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that drinking will absolutely ruin my life, so that pretty much takes any worry or anxiety about relapse off the table. I simply know that drinking is not an option for me, so relapse doesn't even enter my thoughts. And it's such a freedom to not be burdened by that.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
I don't use the word relaspse ..but I did return to drinking
many times before I actually quit.....
What worked for me ...on this current run ...of 22 years ...is .
I daily stay connected to God and AA....
Well done on your sober time
many times before I actually quit.....
What worked for me ...on this current run ...of 22 years ...is .
I daily stay connected to God and AA....
Well done on your sober time
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Texas
Posts: 150
Relapse was part of my early recovery, but I know several people who haven't. My sponsor has 23 years! I wasn't completely convinced when I decided to quit- even though I had plenty of reason to believe I am alcoholic. The relapses just reinforced what I already knew. But definitely they are not necessary.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 2,126
Hey dancer1 ----
I just wanted to add a wee bit more hope here (along with it's compatriots experience and strength)...............
Now, I know that one cannot have more than one 'best,' however, although it may appear that I do have more than one; I only have one per geographic area...............:
1) My Best Recovery Friend 'in CA' has 28 years w/o any relapses;
2) My Best Recovery Friend 'in MS' has 27 years w/o any relapses;
3) My Best Recovery Friend here 'in Houston, TX' has 24 years (and will have25 years come this June) w/o any relapses; and finally
4) There's my bestest friend forever..........well, heck, that's moi, and I have 24 years (and will have 25 years come this June), and all w/o any relapses.
Back when I was new in recovery, my sponsor had three other sponsees, and all of them had relapsed and returned, all of them sporting new September recovery dates (to match our sponsor....? I dunno). When I asked my sponsor, at that time, if I was supposed to follow suit, she immediately answered with a very loud, "NO!!!" followed by one of those 'smacks' to the back of the head (kinda like Gibbs gives DiNozzo), in that typical dysfunctional family sorta way.....LOLOL
So, there is hope out there. Just keep on with your focus on your recovery and not on the possibility of a relapse (we are more likely to follow where our focus is).
(o:
NoelleR
I just wanted to add a wee bit more hope here (along with it's compatriots experience and strength)...............
Now, I know that one cannot have more than one 'best,' however, although it may appear that I do have more than one; I only have one per geographic area...............:
1) My Best Recovery Friend 'in CA' has 28 years w/o any relapses;
2) My Best Recovery Friend 'in MS' has 27 years w/o any relapses;
3) My Best Recovery Friend here 'in Houston, TX' has 24 years (and will have25 years come this June) w/o any relapses; and finally
4) There's my bestest friend forever..........well, heck, that's moi, and I have 24 years (and will have 25 years come this June), and all w/o any relapses.
Back when I was new in recovery, my sponsor had three other sponsees, and all of them had relapsed and returned, all of them sporting new September recovery dates (to match our sponsor....? I dunno). When I asked my sponsor, at that time, if I was supposed to follow suit, she immediately answered with a very loud, "NO!!!" followed by one of those 'smacks' to the back of the head (kinda like Gibbs gives DiNozzo), in that typical dysfunctional family sorta way.....LOLOL
So, there is hope out there. Just keep on with your focus on your recovery and not on the possibility of a relapse (we are more likely to follow where our focus is).
(o:
NoelleR
Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Erie, Pa.
Posts: 91
Never get caught off-guard! Set up your network, your sponsor, one or more, hang out at meetings, arrive half hour early, stay half hour late to meet folks who know how you feel, what you are going thru, and get phone numbers.
Once you get comfortable with your sobiety, it gets tricky. Not one drink Ever... have those numbers lined out for 24 hour calls you can make to go grab a cup of coffee, talk it out, and you'll do just fine! My grandfather has been sober 35 years, maybe more. I don't remember his drinking, but my mom and my grandmother say it was hell!
You can do this!
Once you get comfortable with your sobiety, it gets tricky. Not one drink Ever... have those numbers lined out for 24 hour calls you can make to go grab a cup of coffee, talk it out, and you'll do just fine! My grandfather has been sober 35 years, maybe more. I don't remember his drinking, but my mom and my grandmother say it was hell!
You can do this!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 413
Not working the program is a relapse, even if you dont drink. Not changing your behavior when sober is the same for me as drinking an invisible alcoholic drink.
I have gone back drinking several times on my journey to daily sobriety. Each time I went back I swore I would never do it again. The pain is quickly forgotten and the AA meetings seem to mean less and less. Dont be fooled by yourself. Take care
I have gone back drinking several times on my journey to daily sobriety. Each time I went back I swore I would never do it again. The pain is quickly forgotten and the AA meetings seem to mean less and less. Dont be fooled by yourself. Take care
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