Dah

OK... So I am still a new-comer. No Alcohol since 1/23 and feeling great! I still feel an urge to drink, but I believe I am in control of this urge (as long as I don't take that first sip again).

I have won my biggest battle. I did my worst drinking when I was alone. Since then I have avoided the urge to drink alcohol alone, and I feel the urge to drink weakening slowly as I break this bad habit.

My urge also weakens as I see how positive my life has become in the last month. I feel healthier and happier! This positive change strengthens my resolve, and increases my confidence to move on.

I now think I am ready for my next step, going out in public where others are drinking, and also, where others might expect me drink... Here's the thing, I haven't told anyone but those very close to me, (wife, and one other friend) about my commitment to sobriety.

My question is this-
How did you make the transition?
How do you tell your friends?
Any advice?

Note: I'm not going to any real drinking scenes like bars or parties... I'm talking about going to friends houses casually, watching sporting events with friends, that kind of thing.


All advice welcome! Thanks folks!

Inafishbowl

I'm right there with you 1/27. I have been wanting to post the same question. I've told some people, but not enough. Not sure how it's going to be. One plan I have though is make sure whoever I'm with knows ahead that I quit.
When I was in social situations, I limited my drinking. I know that for some of my friends, wrapping their brains around me quitting will be a little strange.

Juancho

Well when I quit drinking, I just flat out told my family n friends that I was done with it. At first nobody believed me. Now 8 months sober they support my decision.

When I go out with friends they don't bother asking anymore, but there are times when someone I haven't seen in awhile will ask me if I want a drink. I always decline and explain why. Usually that's the end of it.

LexieCat

I simply say, "No thanks" when I'm offered a drink. No explanation is necessary. I think elaborate made-up excuses for not drinking are unnecessary, too.

I only share that I'm alcoholic with people who need to know that information--a few VERY close friends and SOME of my family. I haven't told my 82-y/o father because he lives across the country, was unaware of my drinking problem, and I think he would only worry unnecessarily if I told him. My kids know, my ex-husband (kids' dad, sober 31 years) knows.

Hasn't been a problem for me handling it that way.

marni

Hi Dah,
l too initially only told close family and friends that l am an alcoholic and when going out into a social situation took my own non-alcoholic drinks or made sure l was the only one ordering my drinks. It wasn't often people made any comment at all and if they did just politely said l wasn't drinking tonight.
l found no-one was really that interested in what l was or wasn't drinking, l also made sure that when l was ready to leave the social outing l could leave immediately and not have to wait around feeling uncomfortable or vulnerable.
l recently attended my nieces hens (stag) night and l was the only person there not drinking and it didn't worry me at all or mean l didn't have a good night, it actually made me feel empowered

Though no-one can go back and make a new start,
anyone can start from now and make a new ending.
Carl Bard

SamanthaY82

I know how you feel. I stopped doing drugs on 10/28/10 and stopped drinking 1/29/11. You just really gotta make a choice that you aren't going to put anything in your body anymore that will impair you or harm you. If your friends ask you out to drink just tell them I don't drink anymore but make other suggestions of fun clean things that you can do. Admitting that you are clean and sober to your friends and spouse is the greatest feeling so you should really try it. As far as going to places where other people drink like bars I would really stay away from but like restaurants you are able to keep it together easier. At least thats my opinion and the method that I have been using.

CarolD

I told everyone in my social circle I had quit
and was Attending AA. They thought I was nuts...

Shame was part of my drinking history ,,I refuse
to make that part of my sobriety too.

I stayed away from social situations for about 3 months
because I wanted to have a solid base before I
was around drinkers.

Then....I made a point of limiting my time with them.
I found the drinkers far less interesting to be around
when I quit. And the smell was a turn off too.

Well done on your fresh sobreity....

Dah

Thank you all for the helpful information! The advice from those who have been there/done that is invaluable and I always value your insight.

eddie73

Hi there. I came clean with my friends re alcohol. I have yet to do it with family. I think that your friends will understand, dont underestimate this.

Stevie1

I'm another who did not make a big deal of it (actually most people in my life currently don't even know I was a secret drinker) but I figure I don't owe anyone an explanation unless I somehow got them involed in my crazieness.

During a previous lengthy stretch of not drinking when most of my friends were drinkers, I set myself up as designated driver whenever possible. That helped a great deal and sort of "forced" me into a responsible, non-drinking persona which felt both weird and really good.