Inafishbowl

Today is 30 days (my sponsor told me). I'm not so happy about it. I'm feeling exceptionally depressed today that I have to be proud I didn't drink for 30. I want to be normal and 30 days shouldn't be such a huge deal. The rest of my life is such a long time to go. But it is what it is.
Last night I had a dream that it was indeed the night before my 30 day mark. I ended up with a glass of wine in my hand. I stared at it, struggled with the thought of taking a sip, smelled it, stared again and finally gave in and drank it.
It was so vivid and so real. I could feel the cold glass, smell it and taste it. I could feel the buzz on the first sip.
I know it was a dream and I didn't actually drink it. But it has me shaky. Do you ever have a dream that your in an argument with your spouse and then try and fail to shake your anger when you wake up? This dream was that. Can't shake the depression at the moment.

Fandy

i think we all have these vivid dreams early on. and mood swings...and irritability.

good thing is it was a DREAM. I think 30 days is a great start...it is 30 days towards healing.

it can be exhausting thinking about not drinking vs. drinking like a normal person. for me it passed, then it comes back. i try not to be obsessive these days.

Ghostly

30 days is great. If the milestone depresses you, maybe try to keep just takin it a day at a time. Dreams are very common. Lot of people thinkin it's our mind's way of reminding us why we quit. You're doin great. Sure, it would be great if we were like normal people. We could have a couple and that was it. I'm not like that and I'm guessin you aren't either. I'll take this sober life any day though.

Fandy

I once had a dream early on about sitting next to Clay Aiken in an ampitheater. He had a leather trimmed knapsack on his lap....it contained pickles.....what does that tell you about my head?

Inafishbowl

Lol, Fandy!!!!!

lucygypsy

HAHAHA

sauce

If you are a real alcoholic, then 30 days is a huge deal. Huge. You see, not only do I have an allergy to alcohol, but I've got a mental obsession caused by a spiritual malady. That's me. There are some that may have the allergy but can put it down and not obsess. I can't put it down and not obsess. Alcohol was my solution to everything I faced in life for 13 years.

If I have a drunk dream, when I wake I'm thrilled I didn't drink. You see, once I start, I can stop. I crave it until I pass out or run out. This allergy is real. When Dr. Silkworth first spoke to Bill of the "phenomena of craving" and the allergy, he had no proof. Now we know that this is a real thing caused by our bodies inability to break down acetone. Acetone is a bi-product when alcohol metabolizes. Here's a link describing it, but the site won't let me put the link straight in so you'll have to piece it together.

www aaroundtable com/literature/craving .htm

MIBluebird

I'm going into my fourth week and I also have dreams about drinking wine. I was on a real high last week but I'm on a real low this week. It might be because we've had a severe ice storm and we have no power...so what would be the most fun thing to do with candles lit and the gas fireplace on? Snuggle in...drink wine...that's all my mind can think of right now. My addiction therapist also had to cancel because she has doesn't have power and I was really looking forward to seeing her. Anyway, I can relate and I hope the depression lifts for both of us.

lucygypsy

you know what, the same thing happened to me a couple of weeks ago. only i didn't have a gas fireplace and it was about 30 degrees in my home for a day. i was so cold and i have two tiny dogs and was so worried about them. imagine if i had a baby. be so thankful you have a gas fireplace! try playing a board game or cards or reading a book.

Taking5

These "drinking dream" threads appear on here all the time. As far as I know, everyone has them. They get a lot less common as time goes on.

least

I haven't had too many drinking dreams, but what I used to get in the first couple months was the smell and taste of wine, in my nose and mouth. It was a very real sensation and bothered the hell out of me. It did go away tho, and so will the dreams. Dreams are your mind working out problems and issues in your life. Work on being at peace with yourself and eventually those dreams will be... well, just a dream.

Reset

Two days ago, I had a dream that I almost drank some liquor. In the dream I swirled it around in my mouth and spit it out, but I sure could taste it. It was very real.

But in the end I was glad it was just a dream.

Dee74

They are very common Inafishbowl.

I chose to treat them like any other dream - I just kept on doing what I was doing...it turned out ok

Congratulations on 30 days
D

LexieCat

I always think dreams like that show how much we care about sobriety.

They are nightmares, not pleasant dreams.

If you dream someone you love has died, that doesn't mean you want them to die. But it does represent a fear of loss.

I know how a dream feeling can hang on, but it will fade. Onward to day 31. And it IS a big deal--congratulations! I remember feeling my first 30 days both was and wasn't a big deal. Here I am two and a half years later, and trust me, it is.

Auggie

Weird, I've gotten the taste of vodka in my mouth while I'm awake a couple of times...just for a few seconds. And I was never really a vodka drinker. Whiskey was my poison of choice. Strange.

My weird dreams have stopped for the most part. I'm just under 2 weeks.

Anna

It sounds like you're doing great and your mind is adjusting to the idea of not drinking.

NobleCause

I just tanked at 29 days and am back hovering around square one, so in my eyes, 30 days is a pretty massive achievement. Congratulations on that - it is no easy feat.

As for the dreams, I wouldn't so very concerned. The subconscious has its own ways of processing and it need not be an omen.

Spawn

dreams are natural..........try not to read into it

dreams don't mean your doing anything wrong......it's your disease telling you it wants to come out and play......the longer you don't drink the fewer dreams you will have

hang in there

Danae

Hi Fishbowl,

Good to hear from you again---I was wondering how you were since your posts have been helpful and thought-provoking.

My drinking dreams (horrible) became much less frequent after 1 month. Hope yours do too.

As for 30 days, it is a real accomplishment. From what you've posted it has involved a lot of changes, and you've been dealing with fallout from a month ago. Doesn't sound like you are complacent, and are making good use of support. Congrats.

As for wine, I had guests this weekend and after they left I had 3/4 bottle of expensive vino that I forgot to send home with them. (I didn't drink with them while they were here). I took a deep breath and poured it down the sink! Seems silly, but it is progress.

Here's wishing that tomorrow is a better day for you.

D

Inafishbowl

Wow. That is major progress! I've been avoiding these situations and it's killing me. I love to entertain, but can't imagine it without my red wine. I hope to do that soon. Dumping out 3/4 of a bottle is like pouring out a liter of breast milk that you have worked so hard to pump and save. Its sorta like gold. Not sure if you can relate to that feeling.

Yeah......I don't have an obsession or anything.