LexieCat

Hi, sl10,

I post a lot over at the "Friends and Family" forum (in addition to being sober myself for over two years, I've lived with two other alcoholics who were in AA--one long term, and one sadly short-term), and this topic comes up a LOT. Partners feel left out, and they often don't understand how we can be so selfish and neglectful (from their perspective).

I suggest you carefully read "The Family Afterward" in the BB. It's a big adjustment for everybody. I don't know how much he experienced of the effects of the alcoholism when you were actively drinking, but if it was a lot, he might feel you now owe it to him to make up for it. If it wasn't so much, he may not understand how bad it could get if you don't do what you need to do, and wonder what's the big deal.

I think the idea of him going with you to some meetings is great. He might benefit a lot from Al-Anon, too, but if he isn't interested, I suggest you not push it.

Hopefully with continued sobriety and solid recovery things will settle into a happy routine.

Anna

I suspect that your husband wants you to be well, but is resentful of the time commitment that you will need to give. And, he's probably afraid because your relationship will change. I hope that you both can reach a compromise.

1_day@_a_time

.

Kmber2010

SL, sending you good thoughts that all will work out with you and your husband.

mswg

I am not really in AA yet, but is it normal for a woman to have a man for a sponsor? I imagine this can be somewhat of a close relationship. Having had marital problems in the past with my wife of 22 years (my drinking main reason) I think I may have an issue if she were meeting a man for coffee to discuss emotional issues. This is just my opinion and maybe just my issue, but that is what I saw when I looked at your post.

Best of luck to you in your sobriety

mswg

I just re-read your post and don't know why i thought your sponsor was a man, you did not say that. i am sorry for mis-reading and making the comment above.