Wine Drinker Alcoholic - Deparate
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
Actually I was a Chardonnay drinker...today the thought of smelling wine makes me want to gag. Last night I was cooking dinner and I was cleaning while cooking and it occurred to me that 6 months ago I would not have been cleaning while cooking...I would have been drinking if I even got around to cooking would have been a miracle!
Pm me if you want me to tell you the smell thing...its a little gross for some people
Yes life without wine is an adjustment...its ubiquitous especially in my world...but it gets easier...and then it gets better and then you realize that life without wine is vastly richer and more enjoyable then you ever could have imagined.
Pm me if you want me to tell you the smell thing...its a little gross for some people
Yes life without wine is an adjustment...its ubiquitous especially in my world...but it gets easier...and then it gets better and then you realize that life without wine is vastly richer and more enjoyable then you ever could have imagined.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 1,130
Welcome. We are really pleased you are here. Can I ask, have you had the opportunity to speak to anyone face to face about the situation? I know you went to rehab but have you sat down with a friend or family member and been honest about how much you're drinking?
Sick doctor
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: UK, via Ireland
Posts: 52
cooking and drinking
Hi Aithunt and all
I've long loved to cook. It's been a creative outlet, and a way of relaxing after the day. And at some stage it became strongly associated with my wine habit.
A bit for the pan, a bit for the cook, and a bit for the cook's nerves...
It's been interesting re-learning how to cook without wine, but some of the flavour combinations are more inventive than they have been for years!
Day 24 today
The hardest thing is to dissociate my irritability while slicing and dicing, or hunting for the right pan, from the reflex cravings for a glass(...) of wine. I take a deep breath, let it pass, and deal with the regret by acknowledging it and rejecting it. I often find this very tough. The plan is to give away all of my good bottles, but I've not done this yet.
For what it's worth, I'm also dealing with mind issues, and medication, and awaiting the 'moment' when choosing not to drink makes a decisive difference to my mental health.
I've long loved to cook. It's been a creative outlet, and a way of relaxing after the day. And at some stage it became strongly associated with my wine habit.
A bit for the pan, a bit for the cook, and a bit for the cook's nerves...
It's been interesting re-learning how to cook without wine, but some of the flavour combinations are more inventive than they have been for years!
Day 24 today
The hardest thing is to dissociate my irritability while slicing and dicing, or hunting for the right pan, from the reflex cravings for a glass(...) of wine. I take a deep breath, let it pass, and deal with the regret by acknowledging it and rejecting it. I often find this very tough. The plan is to give away all of my good bottles, but I've not done this yet.
For what it's worth, I'm also dealing with mind issues, and medication, and awaiting the 'moment' when choosing not to drink makes a decisive difference to my mental health.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: NC
Posts: 1,737
Originally Posted by aithunt 
I've just lost my confidence in every way - including the fortitude to stop this!
I had to get to that "jumping off place" in order to quit. I simply ran out of options other than quit drinking or kill myself (which of course I was doing with my drinking). My observations in this year of sobriety is that you have to be unable to deny that drinking - even one glass (and lets be honest, its never only one), is suicide for you. The good news is that its not necessary to get to deaths door to come to that conclusion. I had a good job, never got a DUI, etc. when I admitted myself into treatment. Best thing I ever did.
One other point - I never considered myself to have any depression-type issues until I stopped drinking. Drinking was originally a way to lift my spirits, but in the end my life was an endless cycle of hangover-craving-drunk and alcohol had put a very low ceiling on how good I was able to feel, regardless of circumstances or drinking.
You can do this, but the very first things you need to quit are denial and hiding your situation from those who love you.
Pulling for you!
Eddie
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Victoria
Posts: 143
21 months sober and l still have a strong association with drinking wine while cooking. l don't spend nearly as much time cooking as l used to and rarely invite people over for dinner parties. l'm trying to get over this hurdle but admit cooking remains a vulernable time for me and l find eating out a much better alternative when socialising. l never mind if others drink with their meal (it was never about enjoying 1 or 2 glasses of wine for me, l always finished off my drinking at home).
Anyhoo l'm lucky my H completly understands this association and often cooks the family meal and my daughters have become excellent cooks. In time l'm sure my desire to cook gourmet meals will return until then a quick stir fry or in the oven roast will have to suffice.
and lets not even get started on BBQ's...LOL
Anyhoo l'm lucky my H completly understands this association and often cooks the family meal and my daughters have become excellent cooks. In time l'm sure my desire to cook gourmet meals will return until then a quick stir fry or in the oven roast will have to suffice.
and lets not even get started on BBQ's...LOL
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 21
Hi there,
Just coming up to 3 weeks sober and your story sounds a lot like me. I denied my alcoholism for years as all I ever drank was 'good' wine and didnt have a problem with any other type of booze.
I feel great for having put it down for probably the longest period in 15 years or so, dont get me wrong. I am missing it a little but with the help of campral tablets and at least 4 AA meetings a week, Im getting there.
There are many different ways to recover, some find just posting on this forum the key!
Just coming up to 3 weeks sober and your story sounds a lot like me. I denied my alcoholism for years as all I ever drank was 'good' wine and didnt have a problem with any other type of booze.
I feel great for having put it down for probably the longest period in 15 years or so, dont get me wrong. I am missing it a little but with the help of campral tablets and at least 4 AA meetings a week, Im getting there.
There are many different ways to recover, some find just posting on this forum the key!
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Sweden
Posts: 1,649
Marni that was a great post, thanks for bringing up these issues.
Since I quit I find myself less interested in elaborate meals. I think in retrospect I threw myself into massive cooking adventures so that I could be gauranteed 3 or 4 hours of solid drinking: it gave me a reason. I was the cook, and there is that stereotype about drinking and cooking: it's acceptable. Think of all the magazine pictures of people in aprons in trendy kitchens with that big glass of red wine within reach.
Welcome aithunt, by the way!!!
I strongly agree with others that you might consider some kind of program. You mention AA not helping, but, I would like to kindly point out that AA requires work and effort and if you don't do the work, then it is true, the program does not work.
But, there are other programs. There is therapy. It would be a great idea if you started somewhere.
And, lots of success in recovery is using tools. I know this sounds funny, but one effective tool was learning to make simple and easy meals. The faster the better. It helped me overcome my dinnertime cravings and gave me time to do other things in the evenings.
Since I quit I find myself less interested in elaborate meals. I think in retrospect I threw myself into massive cooking adventures so that I could be gauranteed 3 or 4 hours of solid drinking: it gave me a reason. I was the cook, and there is that stereotype about drinking and cooking: it's acceptable. Think of all the magazine pictures of people in aprons in trendy kitchens with that big glass of red wine within reach.
Welcome aithunt, by the way!!!
I strongly agree with others that you might consider some kind of program. You mention AA not helping, but, I would like to kindly point out that AA requires work and effort and if you don't do the work, then it is true, the program does not work.
But, there are other programs. There is therapy. It would be a great idea if you started somewhere.
And, lots of success in recovery is using tools. I know this sounds funny, but one effective tool was learning to make simple and easy meals. The faster the better. It helped me overcome my dinnertime cravings and gave me time to do other things in the evenings.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: SE Michigan
Posts: 1,066
Welcome ait! It takes courage to take this step: outing yourself online.
You and several others have brought up something I've noticed as well...the connection between drinking and cooking. I love to cook too and drinking is (was) an integral part of that. I was also a wine drinker (cabernet, merlot, shiraz...) primarily although flavored beer and that perennial alkie favourite, vodka, often got thrown into the mix. Also most of the time I was a solitary or sneaky drinker...it's been many years since I could trust myself to drink openly in the company of others because I knew I'd lose control every time. And I am d/x bipolar and much of my drinking was very deliberately to either shut down my racing brain or give me a reason to get out of bed, depending what part of the cycle I was in.
Anyhow...I can't add to the advice you've already received, it's all good.
Counseling and medical help would be an important step for you, I think. I also ditto giving AA or some other group program a try, even if you've tried before and concluded it wasn't for you. Maybe you're in a more receptive state of mind now.
You and several others have brought up something I've noticed as well...the connection between drinking and cooking. I love to cook too and drinking is (was) an integral part of that. I was also a wine drinker (cabernet, merlot, shiraz...) primarily although flavored beer and that perennial alkie favourite, vodka, often got thrown into the mix. Also most of the time I was a solitary or sneaky drinker...it's been many years since I could trust myself to drink openly in the company of others because I knew I'd lose control every time. And I am d/x bipolar and much of my drinking was very deliberately to either shut down my racing brain or give me a reason to get out of bed, depending what part of the cycle I was in.
Anyhow...I can't add to the advice you've already received, it's all good.
Counseling and medical help would be an important step for you, I think. I also ditto giving AA or some other group program a try, even if you've tried before and concluded it wasn't for you. Maybe you're in a more receptive state of mind now.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
