Wine Drinker Alcoholic - Deparate
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 6
Wine Drinker Alcoholic - Deparate
Hello everyone.
I am a wine drinker and alcoholic. I am/was one of those wine dinner, cellar collectors. The one with the "good wine"
As aspects of my life became neglected, things have gone downhill. I now drink 2-3 bottles per day. I have no urge for other alcohol or hard liquer. Never had the stomach for it. I do take pills when I can ge them (anxiety meds). I used to excercise and drink my wine bottle over a BBQ each night or just with dinner and look and feel great. Now, I am a full blown alcoholic. I drink in the morning, day whenever. 90% of the time alone. Went to a rehab for 1 week at family's insistance. 3 weeks later I was at it again. I am risking everything but can't seem to stop. I have a business, family and kids. AA did not help me. Think I'm bipolar perhaps. I also have terrible social anxieties that have gotten worse as I look and feel weaker. I hate my life sober. I need to learn to embrace sobriety. I just can't yet. Lost energy and just getting by day by day. Not a loud or abusive alcoholic. I'm just wasting days vegging on my couch drinking wine and procrastinating my life.
Wow - that was a lot! I appreciate you reading. I want to recover. Just unsure how right now.
Thank You
AH
I am a wine drinker and alcoholic. I am/was one of those wine dinner, cellar collectors. The one with the "good wine"
As aspects of my life became neglected, things have gone downhill. I now drink 2-3 bottles per day. I have no urge for other alcohol or hard liquer. Never had the stomach for it. I do take pills when I can ge them (anxiety meds). I used to excercise and drink my wine bottle over a BBQ each night or just with dinner and look and feel great. Now, I am a full blown alcoholic. I drink in the morning, day whenever. 90% of the time alone. Went to a rehab for 1 week at family's insistance. 3 weeks later I was at it again. I am risking everything but can't seem to stop. I have a business, family and kids. AA did not help me. Think I'm bipolar perhaps. I also have terrible social anxieties that have gotten worse as I look and feel weaker. I hate my life sober. I need to learn to embrace sobriety. I just can't yet. Lost energy and just getting by day by day. Not a loud or abusive alcoholic. I'm just wasting days vegging on my couch drinking wine and procrastinating my life. Wow - that was a lot! I appreciate you reading. I want to recover. Just unsure how right now.
Thank You
AH
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome aithunt - so glad you're here. I remember how hopeless I felt when I came here, too. I just couldn't stop on my own - none of us can.
You really need help detoxing safely. Is there a doctor or ER you can go to? If you can get the alcohol out of your system, you'll be able to address your bipolar issues much better. Is there someone who can give you support (a family member?)?
We understand what it's like and you're not alone. Keep posting and reading - you don't deserve to live like this.
You really need help detoxing safely. Is there a doctor or ER you can go to? If you can get the alcohol out of your system, you'll be able to address your bipolar issues much better. Is there someone who can give you support (a family member?)?
We understand what it's like and you're not alone. Keep posting and reading - you don't deserve to live like this.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Eastern Us
Posts: 1,366
Hi Ait,
Nothing will get better until you put the bottle down. It doesn't matter if it is wine, beer, or hard stuff. It is still ethanol.
If AA isn't your thing then try something else: SMART, SOS, Women for Sobriety, Lifering, and there are many others. Google it.
I mostly drank wine too. It was very hard to put it down. And I haven't been sober that long, but my life is already so much better. I can drive at night. I can go out for a walk and look at the stars. If my kids are sick I will be there for them. And I don't waste half a day being hungover.
Life can get much better if you stop drinking. And go see your Dr. and say to him/her what you said here. You will get some meds that will make your withdrawal both safe and somewhat comfortable.
Nothing will get better until you put the bottle down. It doesn't matter if it is wine, beer, or hard stuff. It is still ethanol.
If AA isn't your thing then try something else: SMART, SOS, Women for Sobriety, Lifering, and there are many others. Google it.
I mostly drank wine too. It was very hard to put it down. And I haven't been sober that long, but my life is already so much better. I can drive at night. I can go out for a walk and look at the stars. If my kids are sick I will be there for them. And I don't waste half a day being hungover.
Life can get much better if you stop drinking. And go see your Dr. and say to him/her what you said here. You will get some meds that will make your withdrawal both safe and somewhat comfortable.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
Hi and Welcome!
Many of us have mental issues to deal with and we often begin self-medicating with alcohol. If you think you are bipolar, it would be a good idea to talk to your dr about it. i drank to self-medicate anxiety/depression and I had to deal with those issues in order to get and stay sober.
Detoxing from alcohol can be very dangerous, so it's a good idea to talk to your dr. And, please know that you can do this and we do understand how hard it is.
Many of us have mental issues to deal with and we often begin self-medicating with alcohol. If you think you are bipolar, it would be a good idea to talk to your dr about it. i drank to self-medicate anxiety/depression and I had to deal with those issues in order to get and stay sober.
Detoxing from alcohol can be very dangerous, so it's a good idea to talk to your dr. And, please know that you can do this and we do understand how hard it is.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 6
Thank you so much for that reply. I really don't know what to do. My family and friends think I have stopped after my 1 week away last month. I am so ashamed that I am drinking more wine now more than ever. Yesterday my parents were here, and my wife and kids watching football. I cooked dinner and literally and slowly sneaky-sipped 3 bottles of wine over the day and night and they did not know. It's like a Twilight Zone here. "great meatballs and rigatoni" i hear. While I am hiding glasses in the kitchen. I really need help but deep down...I am not sure I am ready. Everytime I think "this is rock bottom" I keep going...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 6
Thank you Anna. I need help.
oh and the Jets losing didn't help! [being silly]
You guys are wonderful. I really want to get the treatment I need and it must start from within. I will stay here as well. I can feel the wonderful people on this board.
oh and the Jets losing didn't help! [being silly]
You guys are wonderful. I really want to get the treatment I need and it must start from within. I will stay here as well. I can feel the wonderful people on this board.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
Originally Posted by aithunt 
I used to exercise and drink my wine bottle over a BBQ each night or just with dinner and look and feel great. Now, I am a full blown alcoholic.
Think I'm bipolar perhaps. I also have terrible social anxieties that have gotten worse as I look and feel weaker.
I hate my life sober. I need to learn to embrace sobriety.
When you looked and felt great, did you think you were bipolar and have these social anxieties? Or did they come on later, after you started drinking alcoholically?
I don't "embrace" sobriety so much, really, as I like my life just fine, sober... I guess I just want to embrace life instead of a bottle...
Welcome to SR.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
Hi and welcome!
I was a wino too! Never drank the other stuff ...excelled at hiding it from my family etc etc. I tried a million times to quit and finally did 6 months ago. I thougt I suffered from depression and anxiety...turns out it was the wine. Life is wonderful now...nothing has really changed but everything has changed. I like what Mark says about embracing life...because at the end of the day that's what this is about.
I don't have a formal program but I work hard at making my life what I want. I have a life coach and I participate in SR. I meditate daily.
Life can be so much more...as a first step I would suggest getting rid of the wine cellar...if. its valuable sell it or give it away...I poured all my wine down the sink
I was a wino too! Never drank the other stuff ...excelled at hiding it from my family etc etc. I tried a million times to quit and finally did 6 months ago. I thougt I suffered from depression and anxiety...turns out it was the wine. Life is wonderful now...nothing has really changed but everything has changed. I like what Mark says about embracing life...because at the end of the day that's what this is about.
I don't have a formal program but I work hard at making my life what I want. I have a life coach and I participate in SR. I meditate daily.
Life can be so much more...as a first step I would suggest getting rid of the wine cellar...if. its valuable sell it or give it away...I poured all my wine down the sink
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 6
Thank You Lafemme! I see New Zealand for u.... Sauv Blanc country. I can tell u know the wine thing. My obsessiveness to make "everyone happy" or feel "normal" makes keep wine here when people come. My rehab counselers told me to f that and ur recovery is all that matters. Got off the boat inlaws. I tried opening the "cheap stuff" as my in laws and parents don't care, but that doesn't seem to work for me as it only makes me want better. After the holidays I didn't want anyone over, but u can't hide urself forever and parents tend to invite themselves.... and I am a good cook Just a depressed/wino mess underneath
Just a depressed/wino mess underneath
Not waving, but drowning
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 423
Hi Aithunt,
I'm a (former) wine drinker and fairly new to SR. Lots of wonderful information and help here.
Two words in your posts struck me in particular, because they are a common theme I've felt myself in regards to alcohol: ashamed and sneaky. Know all about hiding the extent of my alcohol use. Read old posts on SR and you will see just how common this is. You aren't alone!
I quit drinking altogether in the last few months, and am suprised by how much better it is than trying to moderate use. Also by how much better life is, now that I'm over the hump of withdrawal, which admittedly was not nice at all.
Contemplating a change is a good first step. Stick around and you'll learn a lot about how others are staying sober. Congrats for realizing you need to change.
I'm a (former) wine drinker and fairly new to SR. Lots of wonderful information and help here.
Two words in your posts struck me in particular, because they are a common theme I've felt myself in regards to alcohol: ashamed and sneaky. Know all about hiding the extent of my alcohol use. Read old posts on SR and you will see just how common this is. You aren't alone!
I quit drinking altogether in the last few months, and am suprised by how much better it is than trying to moderate use. Also by how much better life is, now that I'm over the hump of withdrawal, which admittedly was not nice at all.
Contemplating a change is a good first step. Stick around and you'll learn a lot about how others are staying sober. Congrats for realizing you need to change.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
I'm a pretty famous cook among friends and family so I can understand the people pleasing feed people aspect of things.
I was able to change fundamentally how I smell wine (I am assuming it effects the taste as well but will never know for sure). Today, if I'm around wine I find it repulsive. Maybe get rid of the wine in the house for starters and tell your family that they are more than welcome to come over for meals but there will be no wine. You have been to rehab, they know you have a problem...they should be okay with that.
I was able to change fundamentally how I smell wine (I am assuming it effects the taste as well but will never know for sure). Today, if I'm around wine I find it repulsive. Maybe get rid of the wine in the house for starters and tell your family that they are more than welcome to come over for meals but there will be no wine. You have been to rehab, they know you have a problem...they should be okay with that.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
Welcome AH
I very much agree that you should pursue your intuition that you may be bipolar. Some of us have issues we need to address at the same time as our drinking - for some of us they're physical things, for others they're emotional, or to do with mental health.
Getting some help and support may make all the difference
Welcome to SR
D
I very much agree that you should pursue your intuition that you may be bipolar. Some of us have issues we need to address at the same time as our drinking - for some of us they're physical things, for others they're emotional, or to do with mental health.
Getting some help and support may make all the difference
Welcome to SR
D
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
For me the bipolar/anxiety/depression was there before the drinking started. I was drinking to 'relax', to escape, to medicate the mental illness. Of course it backfired on me and make it all much worse. I'm still bipolar/depressed/anxiety-ridden but living sober makes it bearable and manageable... and now that I'm not drowning in a depressant my meds work as they should.
I too was a wino. Pinot Grigio was my downfall. Started out drinking 'the good stuff' but when I started drinking more I moved down to the cheaper stuff just so I could feed my habit.
For sure a supervised detox is a good idea, to be safe and more comfortable. After you're thru the physical withdrawal, some sort of support is in order, be it AA or another program, counseling, or whatever - just something for support when you need it. I started with AA (still go sometimes as I like my home group) and counseling and this site, now rely on my counseling and SR. And it's working for me! Been sober going on 14 months now and never felt better.
I hope this site can help you as much as it's helped me, and still helps me. There's always someone here as our members live all over the world. Come on in, make yourself comfortable, we're here to help.
I too was a wino. Pinot Grigio was my downfall. Started out drinking 'the good stuff' but when I started drinking more I moved down to the cheaper stuff just so I could feed my habit.
For sure a supervised detox is a good idea, to be safe and more comfortable. After you're thru the physical withdrawal, some sort of support is in order, be it AA or another program, counseling, or whatever - just something for support when you need it. I started with AA (still go sometimes as I like my home group) and counseling and this site, now rely on my counseling and SR. And it's working for me!
Been sober going on 14 months now and never felt better. I hope this site can help you as much as it's helped me, and still helps me. There's always someone here as our members live all over the world. Come on in, make yourself comfortable, we're here to help.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
Hey, ait! Welcome to SR. I don't have much to add to the great advice you've already received. So I will just throw out one thought:
Your family cares more about you than any meal you could ever cook, and certainly more than having a drink. Good host vs. long happy life is a no-brainer. (And are you really being a good host anyway, sneaking around the kitchen like that?) Toss the bottles, at least for now. If it upsets anyone that much to come over and not have a drink... well, maybe they should join us here at SR too!
I'm glad you joined the SR community. These people have been a rock for me!
Your family cares more about you than any meal you could ever cook, and certainly more than having a drink. Good host vs. long happy life is a no-brainer. (And are you really being a good host anyway, sneaking around the kitchen like that?) Toss the bottles, at least for now. If it upsets anyone that much to come over and not have a drink... well, maybe they should join us here at SR too!
I'm glad you joined the SR community. These people have been a rock for me!
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome...
according to the Center for Disease control ...all alcohol affects
your mind and body equally.
They all do damage
For years...I've been a recovered alcoholic who keeps my
home a non drinking zone. Yes...I watch football...cook and
entertain ...and don't need alcohol to enjoy a thing.
Hope you find your way....a healthy sober future can be yours.
according to the Center for Disease control ...all alcohol affects
your mind and body equally.
They all do damage
For years...I've been a recovered alcoholic who keeps my
home a non drinking zone. Yes...I watch football...cook and
entertain ...and don't need alcohol to enjoy a thing.
Hope you find your way....a healthy sober future can be yours.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Victoria
Posts: 143
welcome aithunt
There's definately loads of good advice and suggestions
on this site as well as support
l was a wine drinker also, only bottom shelf for me 5 litre cask stuff,
tasted disgusting but l was only after the effect not the taste.
l drank through the day totally isolated, would not open the door or answer the phone, didn't want my drinking interupted.
l finally just got sick and tired of being sick and tired
put down the coffee mug (yeah, coffee mug) and started my life with rehab initially and then AA, meditation and this site.
My life today is even better thanl could ever have hoped for, one day at a time
Keep reading and posting, looking forward to hearing of your progress
There's definately loads of good advice and suggestions
on this site as well as support
l was a wine drinker also, only bottom shelf for me 5 litre cask stuff,
tasted disgusting but l was only after the effect not the taste.
l drank through the day totally isolated, would not open the door or answer the phone, didn't want my drinking interupted.
l finally just got sick and tired of being sick and tired
put down the coffee mug (yeah, coffee mug) and started my life with rehab initially and then AA, meditation and this site.
My life today is even better thanl could ever have hoped for, one day at a time
Keep reading and posting, looking forward to hearing of your progress
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Iowa
Posts: 52
One more wine-soaked woman
OMG that's so my story too. (LeFemme. please share that trick for smelling wine differently. The only time I really miss it is when I smell it... or when someone mentions NZ Sauv Blanc. Then I want to cry)
I might add a nutritionist whose familiar with sugar addiction to your bag of tricks, 'cause once I got rid of the sugar in my diet, it was MUCH easier to get rid of the wine. Radiant Recovery, which deals with sugar addiction, also has a forum specifically for recovering alcoholics.
I wish only the best for you. It takes consenting to leave the shore to sail to new lands and you've done that. That new land is out there.
Chris
I might add a nutritionist whose familiar with sugar addiction to your bag of tricks, 'cause once I got rid of the sugar in my diet, it was MUCH easier to get rid of the wine. Radiant Recovery, which deals with sugar addiction, also has a forum specifically for recovering alcoholics.
I wish only the best for you. It takes consenting to leave the shore to sail to new lands and you've done that. That new land is out there.
Chris
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 6
Wow. Thank u guys. I will stay on this site as it is really great. I was just wondering the last day I did not drink wine [minus the 1 week internment-rehab] and I cannot remember. Over a yr at least. Even in rehab I looked forward to my "safe detox" valium dose. I actually ran a half marathon last may and what was my reward for myself? Yep....[need to recover]. I've just lost my confidence in every way - including the fortitude to stop this!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: MA
Posts: 21
Good Morning fellow wine drinkers-
Ah yes, Lafemme- Pinot Grigio is my downfall as well. I have been sober5 days now- not a drop......last night I was having a hard time not having my usual glass of wine, while I made dinner, which in fact would almost always turn in to an entire large bottle of wine. Next day....often times wouldn't remember conversations I had, felt lousy, guilty and promised myself yet again, I would stop this cycle.
But instead of going for the wine, I came here and read some posts..that gave me the discipline to say" NO" Nor tonight.
Finding this website has helped me to stay strong and on the road to recovery,
Thank you to everyone......I hope you and I can continue on the sobriety road together....
Have a wonderful day.
Ah yes, Lafemme- Pinot Grigio is my downfall as well. I have been sober5 days now- not a drop......last night I was having a hard time not having my usual glass of wine, while I made dinner, which in fact would almost always turn in to an entire large bottle of wine. Next day....often times wouldn't remember conversations I had, felt lousy, guilty and promised myself yet again, I would stop this cycle.
But instead of going for the wine, I came here and read some posts..that gave me the discipline to say" NO" Nor tonight.
Finding this website has helped me to stay strong and on the road to recovery,
Thank you to everyone......I hope you and I can continue on the sobriety road together....
Have a wonderful day.
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