Mescal

This is my first time on sober recovery. I'm a 29 year old male, married, father of two boys 3 and 1. I didn't touch a drop until i went to college. It started out as recreational and progressed. In school i actually kept it under control, but i was somewhat of an introvert and it help me gain friends and get attention from women. I did well in school. Graduated and got my masters. Since then I haven't met my own obligations. My family does not live in the same state (not including wife and kids). I am very close to them as I was adopted when i was young and grew up. To be honest I have not lived up to my own expectations. I don't see my family often. My wife and I get along well but have dis-similar interests. I have seen my drinking increase from recreational to 4-6 times a week to the point of drunkiness. If i stay away for a week I tend to binge for several days straight. My wife is concerned, kids too young to know. Prior to this I was extremely health conscious. Even today, looking at me i appear to be very fit. I know I'm not. I want to stop, but to be honest, i like the feeling and it helps me cope. I know it's not healthy, and I'm not naive enough to say i don't have a problem. Thanks for listening.

Mescal

least

Welcome to the family! Just admitting alcohol is causing problems is the first step to getting help to stop drinking. I've been sober a year now and it's been the best year of my life (well, not counting the bumpy beginning months).

Alcoholism is progressive, so if you continue to drink it will get worse. By stopping now you won't be making any regrets or unhappy memories for your later years.

I didn't know what I'd do to occupy myself or to 'cope' if I didn't drink... but I'm doing very well now sober and wouldn't go back to drinking for all the money in the world - my happiness is my reward for giving up drinking.

CarolD

Welcome to our recovery community..
Thank you for joining us

Yes..I too noticed the progression of my drinking patterns
and ignored that for years...I never knew what day or
which drink slid me into alcoholism.

You might find this info useful

How We Get Addicted - TIME

Quitting drinking was not all I needed to do...to find a
healthier sober future I required a change in perception
Learning to live without alcohol is the wisest move I ever made.

this can be true for you too.

Merry Christmas to you and to those you love

JoeCree

welcome Mescal.. You'll fine the answers/help you need in these boards to solve the problems you are facing. Obviously intelligent enough to figure your limits, specifically before they get overtly out of hand...

I've been able to compartmentalize my addictions and what effect they brought me. In a sober mind, as I look back they brought nothing but negativity to my life. Although you feel alcohol is an excellent coping mechanism, it actually contributes to the angst you most likely suffer in the first place - a vicious circle.

My issues stemmed from believing that I could be a moderate drinker - and although I quit well ahead of any serious damage this could progress into, I understand that by never sipping it again is the only way to enjoy life - Ironic isn't it? If not for yourself, if not for your wife - do it for your boys. Make a promise that your life will be to enjoy them for all they are worth - and that through this process you may find that your life drastically improves as well.

Do this until your youngest is 18 years old. If by then you still feel like a drink... well, go ahead -- enjoy. My guess is, it won't matter.

Antiderivative

From these two sentences it is apparent that you are cognizant of your problems stemming from your drinking. The solution is simple, albeit not always easy. First thing is first; put the plug in the jug and stop standing in the front of the fan and flinging your own crap at it.


I wish you the best and hope you find what you need. There are many helpful and kind people here who wish to see you overcome this problem.

mikel60

Hey Mescal,

I'm Mike an alcoholic in Boston. I was about the same age as you when my alcoholism progressed to the point where it was all consuming. It got worse each year until all I did was drink.

I'd suggest an AA meeting. It worked for me and things got exponentially better. I got my masters after I got sober and now am exceeding any expectations I ever had for myself by being a dad, teacher, husband, and doctoral candidate.

AA was the catalyst for me. Others will suggest other paths. Try them all -but find one that works for you. Your family needs you.

Mike

spryte

Mescal,

When I first posted here, I was worried about how alcohol was affecting my life. I was worried (in a deep down in my stomach sort of way), and I had lots of good things in my life to lose.

I'm glad I came here and kept posting and thinking about it. I learned a lot here, and I was deeply touched by the people who cared.

I'm glad that I could side-step a dramatic downfall. All it took was reading and reading and posting and posting.

Happy Holidays

artsoul

Welcome Mescal - Glad you're here! You're not alone - we've all been there...... I can tell you that I thought I was doing OK while drinking, and thought it helped me cope and gave me the reward/relief I was looking for. Looking back, I can see that I was always in a state of either drinking or getting it out of my system. It's a vicious cycle of drinking to relieve what drinking does to us. Slowly, we adjust to it and forget what it's like to be otherwise.

Take sobriety a day at a time and do it for YOU, first and foremost, because you deserve to be free and have more happiness in your life. Keep posting and reading - we're all in this together!

Anna

Welcome Mescal,

I'm glad you have decided to live a sober life.

reggiewayne

Hi Mescal. Glad you are here. I would suggest reading a lot of posts here and try and catch an AA meeting. There are a lot of good people in AA and they understand where you / I come from. My drinking progressed as well. I once had a huge desire to drink. So huge, I couldn't stop. Drinking consumed me. I was either drinking, hungover, or planning on drinking or not drinking. I affected almost every decision I made.

Today I don't have that! My life is so much better without alcohol dictating it. I tried for years to either control my drinking or stop all together. I failed every single time. It wasn't until I looked for help and others to help me. I found it in AA, this site, then family and friends.

I wish you the best. Life can / does get better, but nothing changes unless something changes...

Isaiah

Welcome Mescal.

It's a problem that hits people no matter their stance in life. I can assure you that you're not the only professionally-minded, health-conscious and family-oriented alcoholic out there. Far, far from it.

Another aspect that is pretty normal is to not want to quit all the way. Alcohol causes problems but it's not entirely that it only causes problems. It is a coping mechanism, not a positive one, but one no less. For me it's a lot of knowing what I *should* do rather than just what I want. And I find in time I am wanting sobriety more and more--it comes too with time.