Have faith in recovery...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,013
Have faith in recovery...
I wasn't going to post a message but I think I will do as afterall it's Christmas eve here in england and I feel I owe it to the newcomers to know what is possible in recovery.
This time last year was my first sober Christmas period since I had started drinking at 14. I won't lie it was difficult and I spent the majority of Christmas time from about Christmas eve to the end of NYE feeling like I was grieving and in mourning. I knew though that I had to make sure that I didn't pick up that first drink under any circumstance, if I did that then I would have no hope at my life improving and I would have been back to square one feeling hopeless. I was 5.5 months sober and knew that I would lose everything that I had manged to gain in that sober time. I was having many doubts that I was gorwing up too soon and missing out on any more 'fun' times, afterall I was only 23 right?
To cut a long story short then I obviously made sure that I didn't pick up and made it through. I cannot tell you how grateful I am for that as my life has turned around and I have that one thing that i tried so hard to achieve in my drinking and drugging - peace of mind. It's taken a lot of work, much of it emotionally draining and painful, but it's truly priceless and I wouldn't trade it for anything. To be able to be content with your path and to just embrace life 'one day at a time' is a fantastic thing and I have my sobriety and recovery to thank 100% for this. I also have SR to massively thank for this too, I reached out loads last festive period as I was really struggling in my head and that enabled me to get through and gain strength, clarity and remain sober.
I cannot express what a great gift sobriety and recovery is and how precious it is. It's very corny but the greatest gift I gave myself last Christmas was staying sober at all costs. 2 years ago I was in the pub now with a terrible aching in my heart, a terrible depression that I couldn't shift and a horrific feeling of shame and hopelessness - I was unemployed, had no driving license, was viewd by my family as a drunk and by everybody else, I went into town and blacked-out for most of it but I know my mood and behaviour was not good. I woke up Christmas morning feeling terrible and craving a drink so badly but not being able to get one as it was like 8.00am and my family knew i was an alkie but I couldn't imagine life without booze, my medicine.
I am so grateful to not feel like that anymore and this is solely because i stayed sober and worked hard on my recovery 'one day at a time.' I now have hope that my future christmas times can be spent happy and with peace of mind and not in horrific depressions.
Sobriety = hope
Happy Christmas everybody!!
Peace
This time last year was my first sober Christmas period since I had started drinking at 14. I won't lie it was difficult and I spent the majority of Christmas time from about Christmas eve to the end of NYE feeling like I was grieving and in mourning. I knew though that I had to make sure that I didn't pick up that first drink under any circumstance, if I did that then I would have no hope at my life improving and I would have been back to square one feeling hopeless. I was 5.5 months sober and knew that I would lose everything that I had manged to gain in that sober time. I was having many doubts that I was gorwing up too soon and missing out on any more 'fun' times, afterall I was only 23 right?
To cut a long story short then I obviously made sure that I didn't pick up and made it through. I cannot tell you how grateful I am for that as my life has turned around and I have that one thing that i tried so hard to achieve in my drinking and drugging - peace of mind. It's taken a lot of work, much of it emotionally draining and painful, but it's truly priceless and I wouldn't trade it for anything. To be able to be content with your path and to just embrace life 'one day at a time' is a fantastic thing and I have my sobriety and recovery to thank 100% for this. I also have SR to massively thank for this too, I reached out loads last festive period as I was really struggling in my head and that enabled me to get through and gain strength, clarity and remain sober.
I cannot express what a great gift sobriety and recovery is and how precious it is. It's very corny but the greatest gift I gave myself last Christmas was staying sober at all costs. 2 years ago I was in the pub now with a terrible aching in my heart, a terrible depression that I couldn't shift and a horrific feeling of shame and hopelessness - I was unemployed, had no driving license, was viewd by my family as a drunk and by everybody else, I went into town and blacked-out for most of it but I know my mood and behaviour was not good. I woke up Christmas morning feeling terrible and craving a drink so badly but not being able to get one as it was like 8.00am and my family knew i was an alkie but I couldn't imagine life without booze, my medicine.
I am so grateful to not feel like that anymore and this is solely because i stayed sober and worked hard on my recovery 'one day at a time.' I now have hope that my future christmas times can be spent happy and with peace of mind and not in horrific depressions.
Sobriety = hope
Happy Christmas everybody!!
Peace
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,560
Neo - you did it again. Took most of my thoughts and turned them into a great post. It's hard to convey to our newcomers the different stages we go through. My first sober Christmas I was very sorry for myself - look at all the "fun" I was missing. The fun of spending a whole evening with people and not even remembering it the next day, the fun of blacking out and hangovers - of waking up on the 26th, staggering into the living room to open presents - and oops - they were already opened the day before. Christmas came and went and I somehow was only there physically - didn't remember a thing. This is "fun"? This is celebrating?
Neo, thank you for deciding to write down those thoughts for all of us to reflect on. Bless the newcomers who are trying to find their way. Happy/Merry Christmas to you all.
Neo, thank you for deciding to write down those thoughts for all of us to reflect on. Bless the newcomers who are trying to find their way. Happy/Merry Christmas to you all.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Germany
Posts: 2,058
Thank you Neo and Merry Christmas to you! There is nothing corny about it.....I know for a fact that the greatest gift I gave myself was the gift of sobriety and recovery. Every single thing that I have in my life now is a product or a result of my recovery and that initial willingness to say today I will not drink. That is how I started this journey my friend and while recently I have faced some tough challenges......it is my recovery that has and will see me through. None of the good in my life would be possible if I didn't have that 1 day where I said enough of the madness.
I am blessed and this post is a awesome share
I am blessed and this post is a awesome share
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
A little poem for you, friend:
NEO's my hero...
His posts are the best!
Reading his posts
is a true sober-fest!
On the eve of this Christmas
I give thanks for you
(and all of the other SR people, too)
Who knows how many
you've helped to be free
by describing what it's like in sobriety.
So as Christmas dawns
and new birth begins,
Your a star shining here
saying "you too can win."
Thanks so much for taking the time and effort to give us the gift of your
own experience, strength and hope. Have a wonderful holiday, NEO! xo:ghug3
NEO's my hero...
His posts are the best!
Reading his posts
is a true sober-fest!
On the eve of this Christmas
I give thanks for you
(and all of the other SR people, too)
Who knows how many
you've helped to be free
by describing what it's like in sobriety.
So as Christmas dawns
and new birth begins,
Your a star shining here
saying "you too can win."
Thanks so much for taking the time and effort to give us the gift of your
own experience, strength and hope. Have a wonderful holiday, NEO! xo:ghug3
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 22
Great post. It does seem like a hard time of year. The fun it seems like I am missing out on, and the sadness for not having the life I want right now. But, as you point out, if I want a better life, drinking is not the way. I feel like I used up my quota of "drunk fun" and now have to learn how to celebrate sober.
Congrats on your sobriety, Peace of mind, and Happy holidays across the pond!
Congrats on your sobriety, Peace of mind, and Happy holidays across the pond!
Eating protein and life.
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Just. Plain. Grateful.
Posts: 503
Merry Christmas Neo and thanks for the post!
Trust fall!!!...
Surprise Trust Falls - Tosh.0 - Season 2 - Ep. 7 - Video Clip | Comedy Central
Trust fall!!!...
Surprise Trust Falls - Tosh.0 - Season 2 - Ep. 7 - Video Clip | Comedy Central
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: The Present
Posts: 425
Great post, NEO... how you rationalized the end of booze is truly admirable. I believe that your initiative ... stopping at 23... will have a domino effect on a lot of older people, who respect your courage and your candour. Have a great Christmas!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: CA
Posts: 2,977
Originally Posted by NEOMARXIST 
This time last year was my first sober Christmas period since I had started drinking at 14. I won't lie it was difficult and I spent the majority of Christmas time from about Christmas eve to the end of NYE feeling like I was grieving and in mourning. I knew though that I had to make sure that I didn't pick up that first drink under any circumstance, if I did that then I would have no hope at my life improving and I would have been back to square one feeling hopeless. I was 5.5 months sober and knew that I would lose everything that I had manged to gain in that sober time. I was having many doubts that I was gorwing up too soon and missing out on any more 'fun' times, afterall I was only 23 right?
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 782
Thanks for this Neo - as always from you, both helpful and thought provoking.
Having faith that recovery is possible is certainly the key to taking those first steps. How would we ever get through a 'Day 1' without it? I credit my longer periods of sobriety to precisely that factor (but unfortunately also some stints of relapse where the vision was lost).
I spent last Christmas Day on my own in an empty house with a large (recently emptied) bottle of Scotch, a mess to clear up and no food. This year I am surrounded by family, sober and relaxed with all the happiness and bustle that real life brings.
It's not perfect. I'm still having negative thoughts of drinking and where it might take me in the New Year, but on today of all days I will have faith.
Merry Christmas. Forwards.
Having faith that recovery is possible is certainly the key to taking those first steps. How would we ever get through a 'Day 1' without it? I credit my longer periods of sobriety to precisely that factor (but unfortunately also some stints of relapse where the vision was lost).
I spent last Christmas Day on my own in an empty house with a large (recently emptied) bottle of Scotch, a mess to clear up and no food. This year I am surrounded by family, sober and relaxed with all the happiness and bustle that real life brings.
It's not perfect. I'm still having negative thoughts of drinking and where it might take me in the New Year, but on today of all days I will have faith.
Merry Christmas. Forwards.
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