DayTrader

Interesting choice of words.

I wonder if you've given some thought to what it is you're looking for this time - another "long stretch" of sobriety followed by another relapse or are you looking for a way to live without ever drinking again? It's not up to me to answer that but I'll warn you, so long as I was just planning to quit for "a while" I never really got sober, not for long anyway (and looking back, those "dry spells" weren't exactly true "sobriety" so much as they were time spent on the wagon).

Relapse does NOT have to be part of the game-plan. You don't have to ever pick up another drink again....ever. Sure, we live in the "now" and we live our lives one day at a time.......but that doesn't mean we should "just not drink today and see what tomorrow holds." I've found that to be a pretty shabby form of recovery - not to mention, a short-lived plan of recovery that allllllways resulted in me getting drunk again.

Those drinks this past weekend (or whenever your last one was) can be your LAST drink. You don't have to pick up anymore. It's going to take some work on your part....probably a fair amount of stuff you won't feel like doing or want to do.....but real sobriety is the bomb.

I hope you're ready to commit to the real deal this go-around. It truly IS the best game in town.

Richard56

Thanks everyone.

Fub, you're back too? You had a year at one point. Oh my goodness!
Let's give ourselves a Chrismas present this year and get sober dude.

SSIL75.. yes my wife still drinks but not like me. Not at all like me.

When I don't drink she usually doesnt drink herself. Doesnt seem to bother her one way or the other lately. Regardless, she is very supportive. She worked all weekend. I don't think she realized that I probaby had at least 12 beers by the time she got home. I hold it very well. People usually dont suspect I have been drinking at all unless they get a wiff of my breath or I've really had a lot. Other than that pri*k at the liquor store of course.

Hevyn, dear Hevyn... thanks. That is what is so disturbing and frustrating. May of this year huh? Probably almost identical to what I pm'd you almost 2 years ago too. People like you, who've sucessfully stayed sober long term are my role models. It proves that it can be done, that there is an answer. Once again, thank you. You, and others like you, inspire me.

MsCooter, yes I read GypsyFeet's post: 'Sobriety is not always an option'. A very moving and powerful message is there for all of us.

DayTrader, of course I would like to live without ever drinking again. I know you're heavy into AA. I've flirted with many meetings over the years but never had a sponsor or really worked all the steps. Perhaps I should finally do the work because I do realize sobriety is the bomb and if working the AA program will take this compulsion away...for good...well yes that is what I want.

Anyway, I think I was still drunk most of the day today from the residuals still in my bloodstream. I'm actually feeling fine now. Not even a hint of the shakes or any painful withdrawls like Ive had in the past. Some real doozies.

However, I did have to spend some time cleaning the kitchen up.
Last night at 2 in the morning I decided it was a great time to cook up some spaghetti and sauce.There was burnt sauce all over the stove burners, caked on the fridge door, the counters, and the cupbord doors plus a mess of dried up noodles on the floor from one end to the other.
Cooking 101

Antiderivative

That is so disgusting. It makes my stomach turn since it reminds me of my drinking. . I can imagine what sort of state you are in. It will take a couple days, but you will start feeling better; physically, mentally, and emotionally. So, hang in there and stop pouring booze down your throat.

Get over yourself. Guilt can kill alcoholics. You are doing something admirable by seeking recovery again. Not every alcoholic finds recovery again; some find a grave.

Treat this opportunity as a gift and don't **** all over it.

You did something right for two years. Get back to doing it again. You know what you need to do. You just need to get past this stumble and get back to what you were doing before, possibly even better than last time.

I wish you the best.

littlefish

Then you are in my club!
I am so glad you are back.
Last week a girl called me: I gave her my number over a year ago at an AA meeting.
I told her I would be at Sunday night's meeting.
I showed up, driving in the worst snow storm imaginable. She didn't show up.

Did I feel annoyed? No way. I just hopes she decides to show up next time.

It's a great feeling to see someone come back. Welcome back!!!!!

ViciousCycle

Nah. But I "get it." Don't worry what others think, just take care of you. This place worked for you before. Stick with it.........post away!! And now that Fub is back in, we are the 3 musketeers again!

How are you doing today??