New Here
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 279
New Here
Hello all. My story is that I'm not really sure if I have a "problem", but I am definitely interested in living a sober life. I'm sure just the fact that I am on this forum is very telling. I've never had any legal trouble or job trouble related to drinking; I'm just tired of the lifestyle. It's not productive (duh) And I have had several regrets after drinking. Like the days where I spend the entire next day so hungover it interferes with my plans. I live in Wisconsin, where drinking is soooo built into the culture; it is really hard not to! My husband and I have close friends who are bartenders and friends who work at breweries, making abstaining difficult. Thing is, a lot of our friends (I think) have MAJOR alcohol problems, like a thousand times worse than me. But to them, drinking a lot and dealing with hangovers is completely normal and just a way of life. DUIs are commonplace among people around here, it's really sad. Anyway I'm digressing and I know I shouldn't be worrying about other people, BUT I've been thinking about it a lot lately, and just asking myself "what the hell are we doing?" There are plenty of days I don't drink at all. Lots of times I'll have one or two and thats it. Occasionally, I just won't be able to stop even though I KNOW I'm getting too drunk. Then I wake up hating life.
My husband drinks as well. We have had discussions in the past about giving up drinking, but nothing ever seems to stick. I'd like to give it another try though.
I'm on day three.
Thanks for listening.
My husband drinks as well. We have had discussions in the past about giving up drinking, but nothing ever seems to stick. I'd like to give it another try though.
I'm on day three.
Thanks for listening.
Riding Barefoot
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 452
Welcome! It is up to you to diagnose yourself. You are taking a step in the right direction by coming here. I will say that you sound like me a while back... before things got worse. I had one legal issue (DUI) about 13 years ago. I have never had any work-related issues due to alcohol (got lucky there). I never lost friends or family members due to my problem, but I definitely have/had a problem and could see it would only get worse.
Drinking is a big part of life here as well... my boyfriend works for the brewery, too. A lot of our friends have problems, but as far as I know, I'm the only one trying to do something about it.
Anyway, stick around for a while and you will figure something out. Good luck!
Drinking is a big part of life here as well... my boyfriend works for the brewery, too. A lot of our friends have problems, but as far as I know, I'm the only one trying to do something about it.
Anyway, stick around for a while and you will figure something out. Good luck!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,454
Hi Oakleaf
I lIve in Australia so I think I know a little of what you're talking about.
The thing is most other people seemed to be able to handle their alcohol better than I could - like you say they always seemed to be productive whereas my life revolved more and more around beer and getting drunk....they never had regrets, I had a million.
The day I admitted all this to myself, the day I accepted I was different and I had a problem, I started to move on and fix my life.
I know you'll find help and support here
Welcome
D
I lIve in Australia so I think I know a little of what you're talking about.
The thing is most other people seemed to be able to handle their alcohol better than I could - like you say they always seemed to be productive whereas my life revolved more and more around beer and getting drunk....they never had regrets, I had a million.
The day I admitted all this to myself, the day I accepted I was different and I had a problem, I started to move on and fix my life.
I know you'll find help and support here
Welcome
D
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Lowcountry
Posts: 2,762
Welcome to SR Oakleaf,
I tried quitting several times as part of a group effort (with wife )
After some months , and a year one time, one or the other of us lost focus, so , for me it's really necessary to keep my recovery program an individual effort.
My sobriety does affect (in a great way ) relationships with family and friends though,
...that seems to be one of the many blessings I'm grateful for.
Wishing you a successful (effective) experience here in early sobriety.
This place has been so helpful for me the last 8+ months
I tried quitting several times as part of a group effort (with wife )
After some months , and a year one time, one or the other of us lost focus, so , for me it's really necessary to keep my recovery program an individual effort.
My sobriety does affect (in a great way ) relationships with family and friends though,
...that seems to be one of the many blessings I'm grateful for.
Wishing you a successful (effective) experience here in early sobriety.
This place has been so helpful for me the last 8+ months
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 279
Thanks for all the replies. MsCooterBrown--I'm in Milwaukee too!
I was thinking about my post from last night and I think I was downplaying things a bit. I have had legal issues (two underages a long long time ago). I have had a few instances at work where I had to run to the bathroom to throw up I was so hungover. My husband had a DUI six years ago. My Dad had a DUI nine years ago.
I know it's ultimately my journey but it helps to have the hubs on board. We were never in sync with quitting in the past. He'd be clean for a few weeks, but I'd be drinking or vise versa. He'll be supportive of me no matter what, so that is helpful, but it's a million times easier when he's not drinking either.
I was thinking about my post from last night and I think I was downplaying things a bit. I have had legal issues (two underages a long long time ago). I have had a few instances at work where I had to run to the bathroom to throw up I was so hungover. My husband had a DUI six years ago. My Dad had a DUI nine years ago.
I know it's ultimately my journey but it helps to have the hubs on board. We were never in sync with quitting in the past. He'd be clean for a few weeks, but I'd be drinking or vise versa. He'll be supportive of me no matter what, so that is helpful, but it's a million times easier when he's not drinking either.
Congrats on day three. Early sobriety is a bumpy road sometimes but if you stick to it you'll be rewarded for your effort.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: canada
Posts: 23
Oak,
It would be easier if you and your husband could do it together. However, you are responsible for your sobriety alone. If you think you have a problem with alcohol then you probably do.
You need to do what you think is best for you.
It would be easier if you and your husband could do it together. However, you are responsible for your sobriety alone. If you think you have a problem with alcohol then you probably do.
You need to do what you think is best for you.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,518
Hi Oakleaf and Welcome!
I think you are here because you know you have a problem to deal with.
Whether or not your husband is involved, doesn't need to affect the outcome for you. Focus on yourself and your recovery, and you might be able to show your husband, through your example, that living a sober life is the way to go.
I think you are here because you know you have a problem to deal with.
Whether or not your husband is involved, doesn't need to affect the outcome for you. Focus on yourself and your recovery, and you might be able to show your husband, through your example, that living a sober life is the way to go.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 1,243
Welcome to SR!
I drank heavily for years and thought I was not an alcoholic because I didn't have any consequences and I had some control over my drinking. I was able to take days, weeks, and even months off. I could also moderate when I drank to a point. I didn't realize it at the time but I was already deep in the tracks of alcoholism. I never believed that alcoholism is a progressive disease, allowed it to go on and I eventually would up drinking vodka continuously. Taking action on my drinking problem earlier would have things so much easier. After getting sober I discovered that lots of people "get it" much quicker than I did and have a much easier recovery process. Don't allow yourself to follow the follow the same path I did.
I drank heavily for years and thought I was not an alcoholic because I didn't have any consequences and I had some control over my drinking. I was able to take days, weeks, and even months off. I could also moderate when I drank to a point. I didn't realize it at the time but I was already deep in the tracks of alcoholism. I never believed that alcoholism is a progressive disease, allowed it to go on and I eventually would up drinking vodka continuously. Taking action on my drinking problem earlier would have things so much easier. After getting sober I discovered that lots of people "get it" much quicker than I did and have a much easier recovery process. Don't allow yourself to follow the follow the same path I did.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 508
Congrats on Day 3! Quit, live a sober life and it'll become clear to you that your drinking was a problem. Having one or two drinks on occasion is "having drinks" having 3,4,5,6,e tc, waking up hungover and hating yourself are signs of substance abuse. You're very similair to me.. same thing... On day 9 and feel great about myself. Don't waste a lot of time thinking about whether you had a problem or not, spend the time taking better care of yourself and feeling happy that you kicked that monkey off your back!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: California, USA
Posts: 51
Hi Oak, Welcome!!! Congrats on Day 3. SR is great support and a wonderful forum for your questions. I hate to say it but everywhere I have gone to live or visit I see drinking problems and tons of booze.
Sober today!!!
Sober today!!!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Eastern Us
Posts: 1,366
Hi Oak. Isn't great that you are doing this before you have major problems? That is one of the reasons that I am quitting, because realistically it is only a matter of time until something bad happens. Plus I just want to live a happy, safe and sober life. My kids deserve that. And so do I.
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