ru12

I'll keep this short. I could really use some help on becoming and staying sober. I've been very lucky that I've not had legal or many other problems related to my drinking. But I know that eventually I will.

How do you all stay sober?

Thanks you to all of you for being here. It feels good not being completely alone in this struggle.

hope2010

Hey, Im new too. You arent alone, and that is something I just recently learned. Once I realized that a whirlwind of change happened. It was much easier to reach out for help, and understand that it cant be done alone. Ive been clean for four months now, and what keeps me strong and optimistic is finding my hobbies again. I started a sculpture class, and started hanging out with friends who support me. Most important, talk about it if you have to. Between one on one therapy that i started two weeks ago, and talking about the addiction when i feel i need to helps. When you bottle everything up thats when you start to feel alone again, which makes you feel bored, unworthy, depressed etc... then the relapse seems to hit. Keep it out, and good luck!

doggonecarl

Short answer...I don't drink anymore.

ru12

Thank you hope. Four months seems like an eternity to me at this point. Congratulations! I really need to get some help because I cannot do this by myself. I've let my hobbies go somewhere down the line. I guess I just didn't have the energy for them anymore.

ru12

Thanks carl.

doggonecarl

Along with the obvious "don't drink" I would offer the following:

• Research alcoholism, addiction, recovery options, AA etc,.
• Be willing to devote as much time to recovery as you did to drinking.
• Read through the informational stickies at the topic of the Recovery forums and read through the threads started by others in the same boat as you--seeking soberity.
• Come here often and post your successes and your struggles.

Welcome and good luck.

least

Welcome to SR! I found that just 'not drinking' wasn't enough to keep me sober. I had to replace my drinking with something positive, something good for me. I chose gratitude. Every day I am grateful for my blessings, and since becoming grateful, I find more things to be grateful for. I also started practicing kindness to others. Every day I do something nice for someone else, even little things. And my positive attitude is keeping me sober. I find that expressing gratitude for my blessings makes me not want to drink. Try it, what have you got to lose but your misery and drinking.

ru12

Thanks again Carl. Drinking has taken so much of my time that I feel quite guilty taking more to work on recovery. But I know you are right.

Thaks Least. That is what I'm looking for now. Something positive to replace the drinking. I started drinking heavily just to shut my mind off. I may need to see a Dr. and see if I have some mental issues to deal with.

Jeez, how did I let this happen to me? Selfish behavior I guess.

CarolD

I'm so glad you joined our recovery community..Welcome....

I found AA when I decided to quit...and it's been an awesome
adventure in how to live sober and enjoy it...

I never had legal problems from my drinking ...but I did do a
lot of things that went against my core values.

Living the AA program as directed in the 12 Steps is soooo
worthwhile. It was the wisest move I ever made.

Please keep sharing with us...many SR members are winning over alcohol
and so can you!

ru12

Thanks Carol.

I've gone to AA a couple of times. I just don't do well in groups. And at the end everyone held hands and said the Lord's Prayer . . . is that in the Big Book? Do all meetings do that? Anyway, maybe this forum will be more helpful to me. I've put some sober time together in the past. The longest was about six months. Then I went back to moderation and that worked for a few years. Then I stopped moderating. The thing is sometimes I do only drink 1 or 2 and stop. It's the times that I drink 1 or 2 bottles of wine that scare me. Is this pretty typical behavior?

slipperyknot

Nothing is typical. I am on day 10 now and it is up and down, day by day. I am starting to discover things that trigger me and work through them. I figure if I can't stop drinking without fear, worry, stress or over thinking then I have got a problem. It took me years of knowing I had a problem, praying over hangovers, begging for it to stop and humiliating mornings after to be here now.

I try to work through every minute, hour and day to stay away from drinking. I have started up some hobbies, eat a ton of junk and come on here. I am looking up groups to start a one on one meeting and the prayers and hand holding for me are just more support, the words are important but the human contact and support are the priceless part.

As so many, with so much more time than me, say it just takes each of us here to keep trying until we get peace for ourselves. Get up one more time then you fall down and play the tape to the end, remember what your drunk times were like, the hangovers, the bad stuff before it happens.

Good luck with your journey.

wpainterw

Well all I can do is speak for myself. I found after many many years of trying "moderate" drinking ("Only one glass of wine") beer (My dad said that if I only drank beer I'd never become an alcoholic. Gee thanks dad!), 1-1 counselling ("Gee I'm really doing something about my drinking! It's O.K. if I keep going to the shrink!"), using my wife as a "control" (but being married doesn't mean that we can't take a breather (bender?) every now and then!).
None of that worked. What seemed to work was when i finally had to recognize that I couldn't do it alone. It doesn't need to be AA. Maybe it can only be this website. But getting and staying sober seemed to require a team effort, at least in my case. I had my issues with AA but I found a group I could stick with. That program, and I suppose a number of others, have lots of insights built up from years of experience.
Alcoholism tends to be a lonely and solitary disease, although it often starts out the other way around. Recovery often requires breaking out of that loneliness and networking with other alcoholics.

W.

ru12

thanks wpainterw. Moderation works for me until it doesn't and then I drink way too much. Frankly, I think I tired of playing that game. I think I'll try a different AA meeting. I might fit in better. And posting here of course!

Dee74

welcome to SR ru12

D

LaFemme

Welcome ru!

I tried getting sober for about 5 years before I got there. I never made it past day 6/7 then. I read every self help andjaddiction book I could find...I begged God for help...I promised myself every night that tomorrow would be the day. And it never was.

A couple things made a difference..1. I read a book by Allan Carr...called the easy way to stop drinking. 2. I got sick of the taste of alcohol (thanks to a prayer to God). 3. I started getting hangovers. 4. The world cup ended (only partially kidding on that one:-) 5. I joined SR.

Welcome...you are in good company:-)

ru12

Thanks slippery, I didn't mean to forget to post to you. I'm new at this forum thing. Human contact is important to me, even if it is just touching electrons as in SR. I'm going to start getting serious about running again. I used to marathons, but had to have knee surgery a few years back. And after that my running diminished and my drinking increased. I really hope I can use that as at least a distraction. And if I'm out running for an hour at least I'm not drinking.

Lafemme, now that certainly would be an amazing thing to get sick of the taste of alcohol. Sadly, I'm not there yet. I've had some horrible hangovers. One would think memories of those would be enough to put me off drink. But after a few days I seem to forget and start convincing myself that I can start again if I'm careful. And that works for a while. Then I'm not careful. I hate this!

flutter

Hi ru, welcome!

You might find this sticky (permanent thread) helpful:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

Every one of our stories is different, but the bottom line is, we do recover.. in may ways shapes and forms, but we do. You can have a better life. I'm glad you found 'us'!

ru12

Thak you flutter. I will read the post.

soberlivin10

To answer your question "How do you stay sober". Day by day is the only way that works for me. I have been sober for 70 days. I have done that day by day with the help of AA. I would agree that you should try a different meeting. I have gone to several meetings and there are some meetings that I really dont care for. I would try a couple different meetings and see if they work for you. AA has totally worked for me. Good luck and stay strong!

Emmy69

Hi Ru. Congrats and keep up the good work.

After years and years of trying (and failing) to quit, I finally accepted the fact that I simply could not drink .....again.....ever. As long as I kept the slightest hope that someday I'd learn to moderate my drinking and "control" it, I was doomed to failure. Once I really accepted it, intenalized it, or as many say "surrendered to it", things became much easier.

There are still many tools and tactics that will help you. You can find them throughout this site and the postings of others. For me this site has been fantastic. So many others struggle the same way I have, it helps alot to hear their stories and successes.

You can do it!