Newtoaddiction

Hello gang. I come on this site in hopes of finding some support and information. I am going to tell you my story and I would really appreciate the feedback. I am 30 years old and a mother of one who is 9. I had alot of dental problems that started about 2 years ago. To make a long story short I was given vicodin and percocet for my root canals and wisdom teeth surgery. I liked the feeling that they gave me, like a eauphoric feeling. It gave me energy and I loved them, and loved me on them. I could clean my house in like 2 hours. The dental work went on for over 7 months. I got the vicodin when they ran out, the doctor called the script in all the time. So then I started really abusing them. After the dental work was all said and done with I found someone I could get percocet 10mg off of. So I started buying them and taking 2 at a time. Sometimes 4 per day. I was so drained the next day, and I tried getting them everyday. It gave me energy like I said and I had to have them. Well a year passed and I am still very much abusing them. I dont take them everyday, but when my friend gets her script filled she calls me and for about 2 weeks I can get them and I use them everyday until she runs out. Then I have to wait again for her refill. I started really realizing that I have a serious problem about 5 months ago. I started becoming very mean to my daughter who is the sweetest little girl in the world. I started neglecting my bills, and pushing things off and procrastinating. I didnt go out as much and do things anymore. I like to stay home and get the high. About a month ago I had something happen to me very bad. I started getting very dizzy and I almost passed out at work. I had taken the percocet 6 hours prior to me feeling this way. I was so confused and scared and my face was red and hot. I went home and couldnt sleep at all. I thought I was going to die. The next day I stayed home from work and called my mom and told my mom what was going on with my abuse. I stopped then and there taking them. The dizzy spells and confusion went on for the next 2 days. I went to my family doctor and I told her what was going on. I was afraid something else was going on. Well she had said that I had vertigo and I was possibly going through a withdrawl. So she gave me a script for these motion sickness pills. A week went by and I was ok. I didnt have any percs or anything. Then my friend texted me and said she got her script. I then thought, oh well maybe it was just the vertigo, and it wasnt the pills. SO I started back up again. After I got that euphoric feeling about an hour later I started feeling dizzy again and confused. So now this goes on whenever I take these pills. You would think I would stop because it really is so scary, but nope. I havent. I couldnt get anymore percs today, so I got tramadol, and I took 3 of them, then I started having the dizziness and feeling of faint and confusion again big time. I need help. I really am a good person. These pills are really taking me down. I dont know if I have vertigo again or if these pills are causing this for me. One day the faint feeling was so bad and I almost drove myself to the hospital. I am reaching out there for help.

suki44883

Welcome to SR. You will find a lot of support here if you truly want to quit. Have you made the decision to quit for good?

Newtoaddiction

I really want to quit for good. I am a single mother and I am tired of living like this. No one knows about this. But my mom when I told her when I started getting the vertigo bad. I told her I stopped a month ago, and I lied to her. I feel so guilty and I am just afraid anymore.

Newtoaddiction

Do you think that this feeling of faint and confusion has anything to do with me taking the pills? The last time I took percs was yesterday. Today, I just took some tramadol. I threw them out tonight. I just want to be free from this addiction.

nvrbeentospain

Welcome to SR! Prescription pain medications are so addictive. I have a family member coming out from oxycodone addiction, and it can be a long, hard road but doable. My relative wound up doing 90 days in rehab and was very lucky to have the resources to do that. You say you're reaching out for help -- what type of resources do you have access to? Rehab is not a bad option if you can do it, but there are other options, too.

As for the short term, is there a way to cut off contact with this friend? One short term measure would be to change your phone number. And keep on reading here and check out sites like NA and SMART recovery for options regarding meetings.

Good luck and keep on posting.

Marcus

Sounds like how I felt when I would take too much, but I will leave the medical questions/advice to your doctor. Obviously they are affecting your health and making your life unmanageable. I know that feeling all too well. You can get past this and get back to being the mother you know you can be.

It is important to continue to be honest with your doctor and don't attempt to self diagnose. Also let your friend know you want to quit. As far as support goes you have lots of options (Pills Anonymous, NA, Therapist, SMART, Outpatient Program, Inpatient Program if needed, and keep posting here on SR).

Newtoaddiction

I dont think it is serious enough for rehab. I would like to post on here and try and get some help. I am going to tell my friend about this. She is an older woman and I think that she will totally stop giving them to me. I just hope that this confusion and dizziness is from the pills. The doctor said vertigo, but that was a while ago. Thank you so much for your replies!

Dee74

Hi newtoaddiction,

I'm glad you're seeing a Dr because that really is the best person to be talking to. We can't give you medical advice here, by our rules.

Have you thought about groups like NA or SMART?

I think support is vital when trying to change your life and do without the pills. I think you also need to be honest with your mom - and your friend. The way to really change your life is to make real changes

We also have a substance abuse forum here you may want to look at
Substance Abuse - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Welcome to SR - I know you'll find a lot of support here

D

mrsfray

Hi newtoaddiction,

I am sorry you are suffering from dizzy spells after you take them. I too was addicted to vicodin, never had the dizzy spells but can so relate to flushing them, the temptations, etc. I really hope you can just quit them once and for all. I too was mean to my sweet little boy....(He is 7).... You can do this, you have come to the right place and as far as rehab goes, you can try to get clean with the help of outpatient treatment first. Meetings, this board, etc. If you can string together some clean days you will feel so much better. Welcome to the boards! mrsfray

Newtoaddiction

Thank you all so much for the feedback and kind words. Today is the first day that I haven't touched any pills. I felt very sickly today, and still was somewhat dizzy. I got no sleep last night really. I am going to take it one day at a time and check out the link that Dee posted.

least

Welcome to our recovery family!

artsoul

Welcome NTA - By the time we realize there's a problem, it's really hard to quit without support. I'm glad you're reaching out for support and doing it before things get worse (which they always do with addiction).

Several members here talk about having an addiction counselor, which might be another option if you find it's a struggle to stop (of course, NA is free!). I'm staying sober with the help of this forum -- it's been my lifeline.

Take it a day at a time. Keep things simple. And see your doc if you feel worse. :ghug3