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Day 14

Old 12-05-2010, 10:17 AM
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Day 14

I had a bad experience two weeks ago where I drank entirely too much and decided that I should probably stop the alcohol. Prior to that I wasn't a daily drinker but did pretty regularly have 3 (weeknights) to 6 (weekends) drinks a day, which is entirely too much. I also have the thing where when I start drinking, I want to drink more. And I've got some not so insignificant addict genes, so I thought quitting was probably the best bet.

I didn't really have any withdrawal symptoms, which is great, but I've definitely had moments where I've really wanted to drink. I live in the city with tons of beer and wine (my drinks of choice), so it's around me wherever I go. I'm working on finding other things to do. Unfortunately I've been eating entirely too much and unhealthily I think as compensation -- probably not a huge thing now, but not great in the long run.

I'm also a bit bummed by the thought that I likely won't be able to drink again. I'm thinking through ideas about moderation, but my feeling is that I'm likely engaging in some denial here.

I've also been doing a lot of reading and thinking about recovery strategies. I like SMART and CBT type of stuff. I get the AA thing about not having control over this in that I believe there are biological things going on with me that make me not able to regulate my drinking. But I'm an atheist and haven't really been drawn to any of the 12 step talk here, so I think I'll stick with the rational recovery type of stuff.

Anyway, long-winded post!
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Old 12-05-2010, 10:28 AM
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Welcome Never! One of the things I have found is that when I was drinking..I only ate like once a day..after my buzz of course since eating was a buzz kill. In sobriety you find quite an attraction to food! I have to watch it as well. But in my case..so far ..I am still losing weight. I was drinking mass quanities so I think even with eating my caloric intake is less with food than it was with alcohol. AND I also think you can do whatever it takes to avoid drinking..if it is food..go with that for awhile. One thing at a time..Glad you are here!
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Old 12-05-2010, 01:12 PM
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Hi nvrbeentospain

Welcome to SR - congratulations on yr 14 days!

I think it's important to have some kind of support structure, whether it's SR, some recovery group, counselling, or a mix...

I hope you find the right path for you

D
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Old 12-05-2010, 06:42 PM
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Thanks for the welcome! As for the eating, I think I'm going to try to get back into exercising, which should further reinforce sobriety. After that becomes more of a habit, I'll try to clean up the diet.
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Old 12-05-2010, 06:47 PM
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Sounds like a good plan to me Never!
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Old 12-05-2010, 06:57 PM
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Originally Posted by nvrbeentospain View Post
I'm also a bit bummed by the thought that I likely won't be able to drink again. I'm thinking through ideas about moderation, but my feeling is that I'm likely engaging in some denial here.
I've tried to moderate my drinking for the last 5 years but I find it too difficult. Today I've realised I have to give up alcohol for good.
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Old 12-05-2010, 07:28 PM
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Originally Posted by tpoint View Post
I've tried to moderate my drinking for the last 5 years but I find it too difficult. Today I've realised I have to give up alcohol for good.
I feel like I really wouldn't be satisfied if I moderated to the amount I need to for long-term health. Medical recommendations are that a woman drink no more than 7 drinks a week, which I honestly can't see myself sticking with if I started drinking again. I can go out and get one drink, but it makes me feel unsatisfied and tempted to hit the store buy a bottle of wine. So yeah, probably not a tool that will work for me.
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Old 12-06-2010, 06:30 PM
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So day 15. Bleh day at work and now sitting at home watching TV. No real urges, which is good. Still dealing with the occasionally being bummed about long-term not drinking again, but all that really matters now is what I do tonight (at least that's what I tell myself).

Upcoming stressor. Holidays with the family and figuring out what to say about not drinking. I'm honestly not up to being upfront about it right now. But if I don't say why I'm not drinking, everyone will just assume I'm pregnant or something.
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Old 12-06-2010, 06:43 PM
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I had no idea what to do when I stopped drinking, I was so lost.

I decided to get outside after supper and walk. The early evening was a huge trigger time for me, so getting out of the house seemed like a good idea. I can't tell you how beneficial the 'walks' have been for me. I didn't need to lose weight, but I became stronger and healthier. I began to enjoy the scenery and nature and people around me when I was out. Often, my husband would come with me and it became a time when we could talk - no cell phones, etc. And, ten years later, I am still walking and still loving it.
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