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Young People? Did you stop clubbing?

Old 12-04-2010, 02:22 PM
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Young People? Did you stop clubbing?

I know I need to stop drinking all together, but the funnest things about my life are the nights when I get all dressed up and go clubbing with my friends/co-workers. I still want to be able to do it but I feel weird and quiet when I'm sober. How do you guys deal with this?
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Old 12-04-2010, 03:13 PM
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you can either choose not to go clubbing, or you can go clubbing and manage to stay sober. I can go sit at bars and remain sober, but it is really not that fun.

I guarantee if you go clubbing, that little voice inside will be telling you its ok to have one
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Old 12-04-2010, 03:30 PM
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I had to make recovery my priority, which meant becoming willing to give up everything that stood in the way of getting sober.

Now, months in, bars don't bother me but I don't seek them out either. It's one thing to be scared - alcohol won't jump down my throat - and another to realize other places are a lot more fun (for me at least ). There are a lot of other places I'd rather be.
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Old 12-04-2010, 03:47 PM
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I'm not a young person - but my recovery is about priorities the same as anyone elses.

I used to spend a lot of time drinking - bars clubs...people houses in later years when my drinking got too bad to be out...I used to say - I need friends!

I chose not to go to bars or clubs until I was sure my sobriety was secure - until I was sure I didn't want to drink.

Then...I found I had no interest in hanging out in those kind of places any more.
And I still had friends.

I never got anywhere only walking with one leg LLG - you just end up going in circles...
D
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Old 12-04-2010, 04:10 PM
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All I can say is if you hang out in a barber shop, you're going to eventually get a haircut.
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Old 12-04-2010, 04:28 PM
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Everyone is different - I can go to bars/clubs for an hour or so and not feel like a drink. Ive actually been like that since day 1. Although common sense saw me avoiding clubs for the first few weeks of sobriety. Theyre so much louder and stinkier when youre sober though!!!

My danger zone is when im home alone - I could nick down to the bottle store, buy 2 bottles of wine get completely drunk and noone would know except me.
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Old 12-04-2010, 06:09 PM
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I'm like Ainslie.

I would at least give the cbubbing a rest for a couple months...when you feel solid you can try one sober but I would recommend having a plan on how to get home early because my guess is that it will no longer be that much fun.
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Old 12-04-2010, 11:17 PM
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Ugh I know what you mean D about the one leg thing. I need to remain sober, I need to not have another drink! My hangovers have been soooo bad lately! I mean just nasty shaking, chest pains, feeling like I can't lie down but I can't stand up, feeling like I'm going to have a heart attack. My cat is the only thing that calms me down lol. I'm moving across the country next month and I have made one sober friend via the web and I am definitely going to check out the fellowship there. I know that going to a club or party isn't worth ending up in the ER which is so scary to think but I know thats where I'm headed. I have never felt this sick, which is crazy because I though I was sick and tired of being sick and tired when I first got sober back in october of 09. My mind and body just feels really out of whack for a few days after a binge these days and I have been diagnosed with a minor heart complication. This all just overwhelms me. And saddens me. Will December 3rd be my day? Can it be my day pleaseee lol
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Old 12-05-2010, 01:15 AM
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It can be LLG - if you really want it to be

D
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Old 12-05-2010, 03:06 AM
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Yes. Clubs ain't no place for this alkie and addict. For me then these places just don't hold the appeal when you take the booze and drugs away.

I guess it's just the reality of getting sober young. You gotta change your life to be honest, I had to anyway.

I find I really don't like being around these environemnts much now I'm sober and clean. People binge-drinking and doing lines, smoking cigs and generally just getting mashed ain't no place for me as I need never forget that it will kill me and destroy my life if I ever let it back in.

It's not that I fear that I'd drink as i have no compulsion to want to drink but I realise how insidious the alkie mind is - I wouldn't want to start feeling like I was in some way missing out.

I go to AA instead. It is what it is man.

Peace
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Old 12-06-2010, 10:25 AM
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Thank you ^^^
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Old 12-06-2010, 11:35 AM
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if everyone is drinking and you are not you are going to feel left out. It is natural. I had to completely change my life which ment giving up those things. That's the trade you make though. No more pooping your pants!
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Old 12-06-2010, 05:02 PM
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Giving up the "lifestyle" was THE hardest part of my early days in recovery. It wasn't so much the "not drinking" that bothered me (and it did......bad.......some days) but I felt like I was walking away from a way of life that I really loved and enjoyed.

Fortunately, I met some guys with many years of recovery/sobriety under their belts who had partied it up just as much or more than I did and, they promised me they knew what I was feeling - that they understood my doubts about this new sober life being any fun. Then they promised me that IF I had what it takes to ride this deal out (work the AA program) I'd look back and see how delusional my thinking is.

I can say..... 3+ yrs of sobriety and I have no desire to get back into the club scene, hang out with the ppl I used to, or do all the "crazy" immature stuff I thought was so "fun" before. Sobriety really IS way more rewarding and fun.
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Old 12-06-2010, 06:22 PM
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I quit ciibbing a few years ago...but I still go to certain dance clubs...if you love to dance I think it is a bit different...I don't know too many guys though who love to dance. Used to go to an underground salsa place...it closed a few years ago...if it were still open I would go in a heartbeat.
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Old 12-06-2010, 06:32 PM
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Originally Posted by LaFemme View Post
I quit ciibbing a few years ago...but I still go to certain dance clubs...if you love to dance I think it is a bit different...I don't know too many guys though who love to dance. Used to go to an underground salsa place...it closed a few years ago...if it were still open I would go in a heartbeat.
This is what I was thinking. If you really like the dancing part, maybe clubbing would be OK. If you go mainly to get wasted, that's a different story. I can't really answer from experience, though, because I hate clubbing!
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Old 12-06-2010, 07:03 PM
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I don't know if I can go clubbing or not. I have had to stop thinking in those terms. I have to think SHOULD I go clubbing?

Okay, honestly. I freakin' hate "clubs." Haha. Nothing against the people who go to them, but I can't dance to save my life and I've yet to find one where it wasn't a lot of drunk guys/girls seemingly looking for a hook-up. I wouldn't even drink at clubs. I'd just find the darkest corner and assume the fetal position.

But yeah, bars, parties... I am done with asking myself can I do it and stick entirely to should I? There's a huge difference in just the words I use to make my choices. I can drink, I can scam, I can lie to everyone in my life. My addiction caused me to lose my sense of basic morality. I have to learn to ask what I should do, I ought to do, what is best to do. What I can do is irrelevant, what I should do is better.

And I sound like a Kantian. That upsets me.
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Old 12-06-2010, 07:04 PM
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I've never been clubbing because I'm 20 (in America), and I can't get in anywhere! I'm not a big fan of dancing so I don't think I would enjoy it very much sober. I do love bars when I can get in, so that will be a danger zone for me in a few months. I'm a college student and I still go to parties. I didn't for the first few weeks, but as of right now it seems like I can still handle it. It's not easy, and I wouldn't recommend it for everybody, but with where I'm at it seems to be okay.
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Old 12-06-2010, 07:21 PM
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WatchTheSky,

There are two things that could be said. Awesome that you are handling parties. I think that is the biggest thing of all. On the other hand, the more one puts themselves in potentially relapsable situations the more likely a relapse. If you're going out on the town, having a good time, and feel you have a reason to be out there then I think you're doing marvelously! Just do be careful about any temptations to "join in on the drinking fun." Once that starts it's hard to put back.
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