Am I or Arent I?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Oz
Posts: 32
Am I or Arent I?
Hi,
I dont know where to start really. Ive always enjoyed a drink, my dad was / is an alcoholic so growing up having a drink in the house was the norm.
Im now 38 and find myself asking 'am i an alcoholic?' and this is scaring me!
Around 2 years ago i had gastric bypass surgery and so whilst pre op i still liked a drink and maybe drank more on occasions that a normal person would, post op my love for food has transferred to a love of booze. Also because i dont eat that much i get drunk a lot quicker. So whilst the volume of booze i drink maybe isnt vast, im regulually drinking 6 bottles of beer a night which knocks me out.
Falling asleep most nights drunk isnt an attractive look and im scared that my husband wont put up with this silently for much longer.
I dont want to give up alcohol i want to learn to control my in take, to know when to stop
Maybe i do need to give it up??
Dont know what else to say really, strange that Im on this forum really.....hate it that i have let myself get to this stage.
Ozzie x
I dont know where to start really. Ive always enjoyed a drink, my dad was / is an alcoholic so growing up having a drink in the house was the norm.
Im now 38 and find myself asking 'am i an alcoholic?' and this is scaring me!
Around 2 years ago i had gastric bypass surgery and so whilst pre op i still liked a drink and maybe drank more on occasions that a normal person would, post op my love for food has transferred to a love of booze. Also because i dont eat that much i get drunk a lot quicker. So whilst the volume of booze i drink maybe isnt vast, im regulually drinking 6 bottles of beer a night which knocks me out.
Falling asleep most nights drunk isnt an attractive look and im scared that my husband wont put up with this silently for much longer.
I dont want to give up alcohol i want to learn to control my in take, to know when to stop
Maybe i do need to give it up??Dont know what else to say really, strange that Im on this forum really.....hate it that i have let myself get to this stage.
Ozzie x
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
Hi Ozzie and welcome!
I used this analogy earlier....maybe it will help you. Everyone is on the alcohol scale somewhere...granny, who has never had a drink in her life is a 1...on the opposite end is the alcoholic in the ER about to die of liver failure. Normal drinkers are between 30 - 60...after 60 you start to get into dangerous territory but really anyone north of 50 should fbe careful. I put myself at a 78 and I have quit and plan on living the rest of my life sober. I have to tell you I consider myself blessed beyond reason to no longer have alcohol in my life. Where do you think you fit on the scale? Could you give it up for a month just to see how hard it is?
I used this analogy earlier....maybe it will help you. Everyone is on the alcohol scale somewhere...granny, who has never had a drink in her life is a 1...on the opposite end is the alcoholic in the ER about to die of liver failure. Normal drinkers are between 30 - 60...after 60 you start to get into dangerous territory but really anyone north of 50 should fbe careful. I put myself at a 78 and I have quit and plan on living the rest of my life sober. I have to tell you I consider myself blessed beyond reason to no longer have alcohol in my life. Where do you think you fit on the scale? Could you give it up for a month just to see how hard it is?
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
It's OK Ozzie - you're not alone. I know it's not easy to think you might have a problem, but it's better than letting it get worse, ya know?
I tried for years to control my drinking (for women, the "acceptable" amount is one drink a day). It just never happened for me, though. I always wanted more. I thought I was drinking to cope, but alcohol actually made my life much harder. I didn't see it, though, until I finally stopped.
I'm glad you're here and hope you keep posting - most of us can't get/stay sober without some kind of support.
I tried for years to control my drinking (for women, the "acceptable" amount is one drink a day). It just never happened for me, though. I always wanted more. I thought I was drinking to cope, but alcohol actually made my life much harder. I didn't see it, though, until I finally stopped.
I'm glad you're here and hope you keep posting - most of us can't get/stay sober without some kind of support.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
Hi AloneinOz
Noone here can tell you if you're an alcoholic. There are online tests that can help you see patterns in your drinking
Michigan Alcohol Screening Test (MAST), Revised
but really you have to be the one to decide for yourself
I often think it's a more useful question to ask 'how much trouble does your drinking cause you?'.
A lot of people find that trying to give up alcohol for a set period, like a month, can help them discern whether they have a problem or not (I favour a longer period like 3 months).
Seeing your Dr before you quit is often a good idea tho, especially if you've been a heavy drinker. 6 bottles a night is a fair whack, and way over the recommended limit, whether you mean tallies or stubbies:
http://www.med.unsw.edu.au/NDARCWeb....ARD+DRINKS.pdf
Personally, I never learned to control my intake - that was impossible for me, but I spent 20 years trying.
I was much happier once I accept the fact I could either drink, or be who I wanted to be, but I couldn't be both.
Welcome to SR
D
Noone here can tell you if you're an alcoholic. There are online tests that can help you see patterns in your drinking
Michigan Alcohol Screening Test (MAST), Revised
but really you have to be the one to decide for yourself
I often think it's a more useful question to ask 'how much trouble does your drinking cause you?'.
A lot of people find that trying to give up alcohol for a set period, like a month, can help them discern whether they have a problem or not (I favour a longer period like 3 months).
Seeing your Dr before you quit is often a good idea tho, especially if you've been a heavy drinker. 6 bottles a night is a fair whack, and way over the recommended limit, whether you mean tallies or stubbies:
http://www.med.unsw.edu.au/NDARCWeb....ARD+DRINKS.pdf
Personally, I never learned to control my intake - that was impossible for me, but I spent 20 years trying.
I was much happier once I accept the fact I could either drink, or be who I wanted to be, but I couldn't be both.
Welcome to SR
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Ontario
Posts: 81
Hi,
It sounds like you made some major changes in your life. Perhaps you are substituting alcohol for food. If you are happy with your weight loss, then I think you should make sure alcohol doesn't destroy that. You deserve to be happy. Quitting might be the only way. If you have an addictive personality, then controlling how much and how often you drink will be difficult. My friends father, who is on my pool team, had the same surgery about a year ago, and has since become an alcoholic. His whole family is upset, and are trying to get him to stop. I find the posts useful on this forum. I hope you will too. All the best. April
It sounds like you made some major changes in your life. Perhaps you are substituting alcohol for food. If you are happy with your weight loss, then I think you should make sure alcohol doesn't destroy that. You deserve to be happy. Quitting might be the only way. If you have an addictive personality, then controlling how much and how often you drink will be difficult. My friends father, who is on my pool team, had the same surgery about a year ago, and has since become an alcoholic. His whole family is upset, and are trying to get him to stop. I find the posts useful on this forum. I hope you will too. All the best. April
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by Aloneinoz 
I dont want to give up alcohol i want to learn to control my in take, to know when to stop
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Great Outdoors
Posts: 1,992
I can't think of anyone that didn't spend a great deal of time with the ole control experiment. Promises that I made to myself over the years to show I had control. Such as drinking only on weekends. Only after 5:00. Only socially..never alone..(I know lots of people that use that one-guess what..they are never home!!! Always at the bar!!) Only beer. Only wine. Then my all time favorite..shots of whiskey. Fewer calories don't ya know? Finally..I threw in the towel. It takes ALOT of work to quit. Now that I look back..I have been aware of my drinking for years. Normal drinkers don't put themselves thru this..Hope to hear from you often!!!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: West Coast, Australia
Posts: 319
Hi AloneInOz
This is my first week in posting and want to help where I can.
For a few years, I tried to moderate my intake. It was a complete failure! But I tried (not as long as Dee74 - 20 years!). I read Allen Carr's book "Easy Way to Control Alcohol" and he uses the analogy of the venus fly trap. Once on on the sticky leaf, it's a slide all the way to the bottom - my guess is that I was nearing the bottom and picking up pace (tell tale signs? - waking up and concerned just how long I was going to have to wait to crack open the bottle).
I liked this analogy because when I look around at my friends, I can see some are heading towards the bottom of the slide. Last Friday night, one of our close friends got annoyed because I was taking too long to get the champagne glasses (they had just arrived). Her husband couldn't understand what the fuss was about but I knew very well what it was about - 5:30pm, first drink - get a move on! (but NOT for me!). It is now strange for me to understand how anyone can "control" their drinking.
So for me, life = fun; Alcohol = devastation. Simple. It was time to move on permanently. Yes, I have fond party memories but things starting getting out of hand. Now, there IS no option for me. I'm having fun without the shiraz and cab sav thanks very much. (yes, I did the wine tours of the Barossa Valley and Mclaren Vale years ago - I think this just sped up my slide).
As I've said earlier this week, I haven't had the nerve to tell my wife that I'm an alcoholic. I'm a good husband and father but needed to be a lot better. I know that I can do it.
Best of luck and keep posting!
Rosco.
This is my first week in posting and want to help where I can.
For a few years, I tried to moderate my intake. It was a complete failure! But I tried (not as long as Dee74 - 20 years!). I read Allen Carr's book "Easy Way to Control Alcohol" and he uses the analogy of the venus fly trap. Once on on the sticky leaf, it's a slide all the way to the bottom - my guess is that I was nearing the bottom and picking up pace (tell tale signs? - waking up and concerned just how long I was going to have to wait to crack open the bottle).
I liked this analogy because when I look around at my friends, I can see some are heading towards the bottom of the slide. Last Friday night, one of our close friends got annoyed because I was taking too long to get the champagne glasses (they had just arrived). Her husband couldn't understand what the fuss was about but I knew very well what it was about - 5:30pm, first drink - get a move on! (but NOT for me!). It is now strange for me to understand how anyone can "control" their drinking.
So for me, life = fun; Alcohol = devastation. Simple. It was time to move on permanently. Yes, I have fond party memories but things starting getting out of hand. Now, there IS no option for me. I'm having fun without the shiraz and cab sav thanks very much. (yes, I did the wine tours of the Barossa Valley and Mclaren Vale years ago - I think this just sped up my slide).
As I've said earlier this week, I haven't had the nerve to tell my wife that I'm an alcoholic. I'm a good husband and father but needed to be a lot better. I know that I can do it.
Best of luck and keep posting!
Rosco.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Oz
Posts: 32
Thanks everyone. Well yesterday was a better day, not a great day but better. 4 stubbies Planning on reducing it more but i know i need to take baby steps.
Weird as i felt really proud of my reduced intake despite it still been far too much.
I know its early days but i feel a little bit more in control now.
Thanks
Planning on reducing it more but i know i need to take baby steps.Weird as i felt really proud of my reduced intake despite it still been far too much.
I know its early days but i feel a little bit more in control now.
Thanks
The New Me starting 1/11/09
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: California
Posts: 678
Hi Ozzie - I just posted about this, so I'll re-post it here ..
Originally Posted by NewMe11109
One of my favorite quotes about the "Am I an alcoholic?" question comes from the book Drinking: A Love Story by Caroline Knapp.
When you question your alcoholism, you say to yourself: If I am an alcoholic, I shouldn't drink and if I'm not an alcoholic, I don't need to. That's a nice piece of logic. You say: People who aren't alcoholics do not lie in bed at two-thirty in the morning wondering if they're alcoholics. A good reality check.
So, for me, I quit because I didn't like where alcohol was taking me. It wasn't adding anything to my life .... and then, when I tried to moderate, I couldn't. So, I quit.
Now in recovery, I realize how much I was truly missing. I never realized how much alcohol let me take the easy way out on so many parts of my life. Since I have been sober, I've had real personal growth (instead of just stagnation).
It doesn't matter about label - all that matters is whether you feel alcohol is affecting your life in a negative way. If it is, then logic says, you should abstain. If you have a hard time abstaining (as I did), then this tells you something too.
When you question your alcoholism, you say to yourself: If I am an alcoholic, I shouldn't drink and if I'm not an alcoholic, I don't need to. That's a nice piece of logic. You say: People who aren't alcoholics do not lie in bed at two-thirty in the morning wondering if they're alcoholics. A good reality check.
So, for me, I quit because I didn't like where alcohol was taking me. It wasn't adding anything to my life .... and then, when I tried to moderate, I couldn't. So, I quit.
Now in recovery, I realize how much I was truly missing. I never realized how much alcohol let me take the easy way out on so many parts of my life. Since I have been sober, I've had real personal growth (instead of just stagnation).
It doesn't matter about label - all that matters is whether you feel alcohol is affecting your life in a negative way. If it is, then logic says, you should abstain. If you have a hard time abstaining (as I did), then this tells you something too.
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
I don't have any problems with drinking. I have a problem stopping. So I had to quit for good.
Not for awhile. Not to wait until after my liver was going South. Not waiting until I lost my family. Not waiting until I was in jail or dead or killed someone else driving drunk.
Everyone is up the river (De Nile river)until their own personal bottom has been reached. It sounds like you may have hit your bottom for you. Maybe not. That is for you to decide. The label is irrelevant.
Welcome aboard! We aren't saints here, nor judgemental. And welcome all who need to break from the progressive Dis-ease caused by alcohol.
Not for awhile. Not to wait until after my liver was going South. Not waiting until I lost my family. Not waiting until I was in jail or dead or killed someone else driving drunk.
Everyone is up the river (De Nile river)until their own personal bottom has been reached. It sounds like you may have hit your bottom for you. Maybe not. That is for you to decide. The label is irrelevant.
Welcome aboard! We aren't saints here, nor judgemental. And welcome all who need to break from the progressive Dis-ease caused by alcohol.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
Hi alone
I'm not in AA but it's saved the lives of a lot of my friends - some of them anything but religious.
I reckon it got to be worth at least a look so you can make up your own mind.
here's some Aussie links - including some hotlines, AA and SMART.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post2273689
D
I'm not in AA but it's saved the lives of a lot of my friends - some of them anything but religious.
I reckon it got to be worth at least a look so you can make up your own mind.
here's some Aussie links - including some hotlines, AA and SMART.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post2273689
D
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Beijing
Posts: 29
Rings soo true. Only people with problems learn how to justify there drinking and come up with a "code" of rules to follow. But the rules often change... normal people don't make "drinking rules and codes"
New to Real Life
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: I come in Peaces
Posts: 2,071
alcoholism after WLS is very common. After Gastric Bypass Surgery, Women Battle Alcoholism - ABC News
Lots of help out there for you!
Lots of help out there for you!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Aurora, IL
Posts: 103
Many say if you are wondering, you most likely are.
I rarely drank hard liquor, I loved my beer. The majority of it was well crafted microbrewed beer. Of course I loved IPA's and Doubles so the ABV was around 8 to 10. Six bottles of those is a pretty hefty dose. Throw in the drugs I was using and my goose was cooked. I used for over ten years. My rules kept getting lower and lower, to be honest towards the end one of my rules was "No Freebase after 10 PM on worknights". That is pretty gross. Thankfully I didn't freebase many times before I said enough was enough.
I am now in AA and NA and am spiritual but far from religious. I was always a spiritual person, but lost contact when drinking and using. Give NA/AA a FEW tries, meaning if you don't like the first meeting go to a different one. The program is making the difference this time. My thinking has shifted, I no longer want to get use or drink. I get cravings, but the goal has shifted from "doing whatever it takes to use" to "doing whatever it takes not to use". I find this is the attitude required.
Being dependent on Alcohol for sleep stinks. I sleep so much better without it now. It is very difficult at first though. It required me seeing a doctor and being placed on sleep meds (which I should have been on in the first place).
I rarely drank hard liquor, I loved my beer. The majority of it was well crafted microbrewed beer. Of course I loved IPA's and Doubles so the ABV was around 8 to 10. Six bottles of those is a pretty hefty dose. Throw in the drugs I was using and my goose was cooked. I used for over ten years. My rules kept getting lower and lower, to be honest towards the end one of my rules was "No Freebase after 10 PM on worknights". That is pretty gross. Thankfully I didn't freebase many times before I said enough was enough.
I am now in AA and NA and am spiritual but far from religious. I was always a spiritual person, but lost contact when drinking and using. Give NA/AA a FEW tries, meaning if you don't like the first meeting go to a different one. The program is making the difference this time. My thinking has shifted, I no longer want to get use or drink. I get cravings, but the goal has shifted from "doing whatever it takes to use" to "doing whatever it takes not to use". I find this is the attitude required.
Being dependent on Alcohol for sleep stinks. I sleep so much better without it now. It is very difficult at first though. It required me seeing a doctor and being placed on sleep meds (which I should have been on in the first place).
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,955
I found having a recovery plan and support has made all the difference for me being able to living AOD free. I utilize a combination of AA meetings, an IDDT (mental health) group, here at SR and CBT/SMART for my treatment plan.
As you see, I do what is necessary for me to stay recovered. My hope for you is that you'll willing to do whatever is needed to get and stay healthy.
As you see, I do what is necessary for me to stay recovered. My hope for you is that you'll willing to do whatever is needed to get and stay healthy.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Oz
Posts: 32
Well i posted this in Nov 2010, i was really worried back then. Now Im terrified!
My drinking has got so much worse, if its in the house and Im awake i will drink it. Im distroying my body, my relationships, my career. Im going to loose everything unless i make some huge changes and make them quickly.
Im scared.
My drinking has got so much worse, if its in the house and Im awake i will drink it. Im distroying my body, my relationships, my career. Im going to loose everything unless i make some huge changes and make them quickly.
Im scared.
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