Checking in - Day 33
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Alabama
Posts: 239
Checking in - Day 33
Haven't been on in a while, on day 33 of sobriety. I am physically well but mentally struggling. I have yet to find the replacement for the stress relief the "poision" provided, but taking it one day at a time.
Love this song by David Gray "The Other Side". The lyrics remind me that I am on the "Other Side", the good side of sobriety (I bolded the lines that cause me introspection). But I can't tell you how much lately I have just wanted to go back to it.
"The Other Side" - David Gray
Meet me on the other side
Meet me on the other side
I'll see you on the other side
See you on the other side
Honey now if I'm honest
I still don't know what love is
Another mirage folds into the haze of time recalled
And now the floodgates cannot hold
All my sorrow all my rage
A teardrop falls on every page
Meet me on the other side
Meet me on the other side
Maybe I oughta mention
Was never my intention
To harm you or your kin
Are you so scared to look within
The ghosts are crawling on our skin
We may race and we may run
We'll not undo what has been done
Or change the moment when it's gone
Meet me on the other side
Meet me on the other side
I'll see you on the other side
I'll see you on the other side
I know it would be outrageous
To come on all courageous
And offer you my hand
To pull you up on to dry land
When all I got is sinking sand
The trick ain't worth the time it buys
I'm sick of hearing my own lies
And love's a raven when it flies
Meet me on the other side
Meet me on the other side
I'll see you on the other side
I'll see you on the other side
Honey now if I'm honest
I still don't know what love is
Hope everyone is doing well - and to anyone who is just starting their journey, it is worth the effort.
The last 30 days have been a lifetime for me, very mentally intense. I am finally in the same room with my demons, the next step is to actually engage them. I am not scared of them, I just don't want to feel the pain their message will have.
Peace,
Toss
Love this song by David Gray "The Other Side". The lyrics remind me that I am on the "Other Side", the good side of sobriety (I bolded the lines that cause me introspection). But I can't tell you how much lately I have just wanted to go back to it.
"The Other Side" - David Gray
Meet me on the other side
Meet me on the other side
I'll see you on the other side
See you on the other side
Honey now if I'm honest
I still don't know what love is
Another mirage folds into the haze of time recalled
And now the floodgates cannot hold
All my sorrow all my rage
A teardrop falls on every page
Meet me on the other side
Meet me on the other side
Maybe I oughta mention
Was never my intention
To harm you or your kin
Are you so scared to look within
The ghosts are crawling on our skin
We may race and we may run
We'll not undo what has been done
Or change the moment when it's gone
Meet me on the other side
Meet me on the other side
I'll see you on the other side
I'll see you on the other side
I know it would be outrageous
To come on all courageous
And offer you my hand
To pull you up on to dry land
When all I got is sinking sand
The trick ain't worth the time it buys
I'm sick of hearing my own lies
And love's a raven when it flies
Meet me on the other side
Meet me on the other side
I'll see you on the other side
I'll see you on the other side
Honey now if I'm honest
I still don't know what love is
Hope everyone is doing well - and to anyone who is just starting their journey, it is worth the effort.
The last 30 days have been a lifetime for me, very mentally intense. I am finally in the same room with my demons, the next step is to actually engage them. I am not scared of them, I just don't want to feel the pain their message will have.
Peace,
Toss
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Alabama
Posts: 239
Originally Posted by Dee74 
Hi Toss
Congratulations
I found I needed to do more for my recovery besides just not drinking.
What else are you doing for the stress Toss?
Congratulations
I found I needed to do more for my recovery besides just not drinking.
What else are you doing for the stress Toss?
If I stay this way I will be lured back. I know I need professional help, but the few times I went in the past, it was just babble (not for this, just anxiety issues in general).
Thanks for the responses.
Toss
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Alabama
Posts: 239
Originally Posted by WatchTheSky
You're staying strong, Toss! I'm on day 24 and at a similar place, mentally and physically. I love the song lyrics!
Toss
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,784
But I can't tell you how much lately I have just wanted to go back to it.
Give yourself more time, and a program of some type of support, be it AA or counseling or whatever, and those urges will calm down and go away for good. Mine did.
Congrats on your sober time.
Don't let the lying demons get ya!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Midwest
Posts: 429
Hi Toss,
I'm on day 34 and in the same place you are. I was doing well for a little while but then got into a funk. I was wondering if maybe a month is when things start sinking in and we have to start confronting the things drinking let us avoid. I've been exhausted, no motivation, just trying to get through the days. But even at my worst now, it's better than the morning after drinking and not knowing what dumb things I did the night before and feeling sick. Thanks for sharing, now I know I'm not the only one wondering whether this feeling is normal at this point.
I'm on day 34 and in the same place you are. I was doing well for a little while but then got into a funk. I was wondering if maybe a month is when things start sinking in and we have to start confronting the things drinking let us avoid. I've been exhausted, no motivation, just trying to get through the days. But even at my worst now, it's better than the morning after drinking and not knowing what dumb things I did the night before and feeling sick. Thanks for sharing, now I know I'm not the only one wondering whether this feeling is normal at this point.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Alabama
Posts: 239
Originally Posted by LittleSparrow
Hi Toss,
I'm on day 34 and in the same place you are. I was doing well for a little while but then got into a funk. I was wondering if maybe a month is when things start sinking in and we have to start confronting the things drinking let us avoid. I've been exhausted, no motivation, just trying to get through the days. But even at my worst now, it's better than the morning after drinking and not knowing what dumb things I did the night before and feeling sick. Thanks for sharing, now I know I'm not the only one wondering whether this feeling is normal at this point.
I'm on day 34 and in the same place you are. I was doing well for a little while but then got into a funk. I was wondering if maybe a month is when things start sinking in and we have to start confronting the things drinking let us avoid. I've been exhausted, no motivation, just trying to get through the days. But even at my worst now, it's better than the morning after drinking and not knowing what dumb things I did the night before and feeling sick. Thanks for sharing, now I know I'm not the only one wondering whether this feeling is normal at this point.
Even when I list all of the things I'm going through, I agree that it's better than waking up in the morning with that hangover. I was sober for two years back in the late 1990's and thought I could go back and handle the poison, and a decade later I'm starting the journey again.
Keep going LittleSparrow, I'm right there with you.
Toss
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