DJB

I finally printed off the application form for rehab even knowing that if I take this time off my contract at work will not be renewed. I am mostly okay with that and that is only because in the last two weeks I have had a seizure while drinking, have no sick days left til June 2011, and now every single day I have the shakes - hard to explain to someone at work what those shakes are from - so I take ativan to control them but then my brain gets tired - trying so hard to get a hold of this - treatment wont be til January - I go to Mexico all inclusive in four weeks - working full time, family, grandchild on the way due in Feb 2011, my brain is dying. Finally got a referral to a Neurologist for seizures, got a referral back to my old dr for my fatty liver - because now I am jaundiced.......... tired all the time - I want to quit drinking so I can live again - and enjoy life. I miss that life. Have to wait - I cant do this on my own i cannot put the bottle down and say no not going to drink today thats not happening - instead I hold off at work all day by taking pills and once i get home i drink - repeat - repeat - repeat - I hate this life. 2011 will be great

Snarf

When I stopped drinking, I began to feel that I could live again. "Life" wasn't something I had experienced for quite some time. I'm a big fan of it. Do whatever it takes to get your life back.

artsoul

Welcome DJB - I'm glad you're reaching out for help. It sounds like you're living dangerously, for sure, especially taking pills on top of the drinking. I just wish you didn't have to wait 4 weeks to get detox (are there any other options for you?).

It's hard to think about taking that time off work, I know, but it's worth it in order to get your life back. Stick around and keep reading and posting - there's a lot of support and hope here!

viavai

I think it's great that you are going to rehab; my only concern is that it's not until January. Here's my two cents: Go to detox immediately. You may even be able to do outpatient detox, but it should be medically supervised. If you're having seizures, you are in trouble. I would vote for detox, then 90 meetings (yes, AA) in 90 days (if at all possible); and then you can still go to rehab, which sounds like a terrific idea. Please fill out those forms.

I hate to sound so didactic, but alcoholism kills. AA and working with a therapist who specializes in addiction have helped me, and this is coming from someone who just got off a nine-month relapse after four years. (I have 12 days sober right now.) And the reason I relapsed is because I became complacent, stopped going to meetings regularly, was not working with a sponsor, had no support network (by choice), and had quit therapy last summer (when the slide started happening well before I picked up that first drink).

I'm not saying AA is the only way, but you can probably expect rehab to--at least in part--reference the 12 Steps (and maybe SMART Recovery, too).

I wish you the very best, and support your efforts--whatever they may be. Congratulations on making a decision--that is HUGE. Be safe, and at all costs, be good to yourself.

SSIL75

This really concerns me. Can you get your money back? The last thing you want to do right now is go to an all inclusive vacation place. You sound like you're in serious trouble here. Why no detox until Jan?

Even if you can't get your money back, you might get your life back