100 Days today!!!!! Am I "white knucklin" it?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 1,591
Clear, what I would want for you is not to place clouds over yourself about white knuckling theories. Soak in the credit for the time spent. It's possible you will be critical of yourself in healthy or, conversely, self-admonishing ways as you go, as it is. Look for a balance in self-criticism and self-congratulation, whether it's milestone time or merely ANY day. That's what I try to do.
In the meantime, you could read the Big Book or other helpful literature too if you are not rushing into a meeting. You could write down all the things you think you have to work on or that you are proud of achieving. And as you talk with people here or with others in your own world, you might eventually wind up in an AA meeting.
If you had a frame of mind that did not include similar things (as in the above), then maybe there would be room for speculation about white knuckling and courting dangers, but I guess I like the approach of looking at what is currently working and keeping that up and adding to it if it makes sense. It could very well be that AA becomes the major component to your approach, and we just don't know it yet.
In the meantime, you could read the Big Book or other helpful literature too if you are not rushing into a meeting. You could write down all the things you think you have to work on or that you are proud of achieving. And as you talk with people here or with others in your own world, you might eventually wind up in an AA meeting.
If you had a frame of mind that did not include similar things (as in the above), then maybe there would be room for speculation about white knuckling and courting dangers, but I guess I like the approach of looking at what is currently working and keeping that up and adding to it if it makes sense. It could very well be that AA becomes the major component to your approach, and we just don't know it yet.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Hi Clear - I had some of the same worries/thoughts. But then, I've always felt like I can never do things well enough. The truth is, even at 100 days I had some urges to drink and I was still trying to get acclimated to sober living again, so yeah, I had some bad days, but they were getting fewer and further between.
The other two times I got sober (once in 1988 and again in 98), I did 90 meetings in 90 days, inpatient treatment, etc. This time, I have SR and my psychiatrist - completely different approach, but I'm very happy with it. For someone getting sober the first time, I'd probably recommend AA because I do believe it gives us great tools and it's a lot like group therapy in a way.
So, I believe everyone would benefit from AA (and should definitely read the BigBook), but I also believe if you're happy with being sober and recovery is part of your daily life in some way, keep doing what you're doing! Congrats on your 100 days! That's fantastic~
The other two times I got sober (once in 1988 and again in 98), I did 90 meetings in 90 days, inpatient treatment, etc. This time, I have SR and my psychiatrist - completely different approach, but I'm very happy with it. For someone getting sober the first time, I'd probably recommend AA because I do believe it gives us great tools and it's a lot like group therapy in a way.
So, I believe everyone would benefit from AA (and should definitely read the BigBook), but I also believe if you're happy with being sober and recovery is part of your daily life in some way, keep doing what you're doing! Congrats on your 100 days! That's fantastic~
Karma Amputee
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Among The Living
Posts: 769
Even though I am now just over two years sober (on my first quit ever) I am now considering AA and working the steps more seriously than ever before. I don't necessarily feel like I'm "white knuckling it" per se doing it like I'm presently doing it, but I feel like maybe some insurance would be a good thing and going to AA seems more appealing to me now than it ever did, like especially when I first quit and wanted to just do it myself & with SR and other forms of self-help like reading the Big Book and other recovery literature. Maybe I can find a good meeting, a solid sponsor; if so I really think I would like to formally work the steps, I feel more ready for that than ever before and I really think it would help me stay focused, and stay sober for the long haul, which is my goal. I wonder if anyone ever took this approach before?
Snarf Snarf
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: ATL
Posts: 835
Congrats on the big 100! The way I see it, if you're living your life in what you feel is the right way, you're making better decisions and not ones that are harmful to you, I think you're doing all right.
I'm very thankful for AA, but I'll be the first to admit that I haven't worked the Steps the way many people think I should. But I'm not drinking, and I'm happy, and I'm making better decisions in my life. So I feel that I'm moving in the right direction, and I don't really care if someone else thinks I am or not. My fiancee, family and friends are happy with the changes I've made, I think I can be counted on more now than before, I don't miss work because I'm wasted or hung over, I can actually enjoy the things I experience in life rather than just wandering through them in a drunken haze...So I think I'm doing OK.
If you're happy with the progress you've made, I'd say you're all right.
I'm very thankful for AA, but I'll be the first to admit that I haven't worked the Steps the way many people think I should. But I'm not drinking, and I'm happy, and I'm making better decisions in my life. So I feel that I'm moving in the right direction, and I don't really care if someone else thinks I am or not. My fiancee, family and friends are happy with the changes I've made, I think I can be counted on more now than before, I don't miss work because I'm wasted or hung over, I can actually enjoy the things I experience in life rather than just wandering through them in a drunken haze...So I think I'm doing OK.
If you're happy with the progress you've made, I'd say you're all right.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,826
If you're happy with the progress you've made, I'd say you're all right.
I go to my home group meeting sometimes but am not working the steps. However I AM working on my sobriety every day, mainly by expressing gratitude for what I have and what I am now that I'm sober.
My addiction counselor said that altho I've not worked the steps as laid out in the Big Book, I have and still am working my own 'steps' psychologically, as in changing my attitude completely. I was 'white knuckling' it in the first few months but as time went on I found that I was becoming a happy person, as opposed to the miserable person I was when drinking. And that, for me, is reward enough for staying sober. Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Ontario
Posts: 806
Originally Posted by Clearhead 
So I feel REALLY good about making it to the triple digits!
However, I am feeling a little guilty about not attending AA meetings like I'm told I should. I hear these slogans "meeting makers make it" and others. AA has basically engrained in me the fact that if I'm not working the steps formally then I'm essentially a dry drunk. I'm not sure how I feel about this. It's definitely got me feeling guilty about accepting a 3 month coin at the meetings.
On the other hand, I don't feel like I've become complacent in any way with my recovery. I haven't been shy about telling others of my addiction and I still am under no impression that I have or would ever be "cured" from the addiction to alcohol. I've completely overhauled my life and have done a total 180 with my roles as a husband and dad. I have been on a exercise routine since leavin detox in July also.
Sooooo, I just wanted to hear others comments on if I should be feeling this way towards AA and not working the steps in the last month. The AA program has seen the facts and history repeat itself enough times to know what works and what doesn't I suppose. How many ppl here actually attend meetings and feel it's essential to their recovery?
Thanks All! Looking forward to finishing my 100th day "trick or treating" with my beautiful little girls tonight!
However, I am feeling a little guilty about not attending AA meetings like I'm told I should. I hear these slogans "meeting makers make it" and others. AA has basically engrained in me the fact that if I'm not working the steps formally then I'm essentially a dry drunk. I'm not sure how I feel about this. It's definitely got me feeling guilty about accepting a 3 month coin at the meetings.
On the other hand, I don't feel like I've become complacent in any way with my recovery. I haven't been shy about telling others of my addiction and I still am under no impression that I have or would ever be "cured" from the addiction to alcohol. I've completely overhauled my life and have done a total 180 with my roles as a husband and dad. I have been on a exercise routine since leavin detox in July also.
Sooooo, I just wanted to hear others comments on if I should be feeling this way towards AA and not working the steps in the last month. The AA program has seen the facts and history repeat itself enough times to know what works and what doesn't I suppose. How many ppl here actually attend meetings and feel it's essential to their recovery?
Thanks All! Looking forward to finishing my 100th day "trick or treating" with my beautiful little girls tonight!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
