day number 2
Tryin Hard To Think Clear
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Stuck in the middle of nowhere again.
Posts: 157
day number 2
Day number 2 of my new old life, and my mind is at it again. Drudging up old guilt, memories of things that make me cringe. Oh, how tricky my thinking can be! I have a serious mental battle going on in my head right now. One side is throwing reasons why it's ok to drink, and the other keeps countering by showing me images of just how dumb and dangerous a drunk I have been.
Sorry if this sounds a little schizo...but this battle has just begun for me.
Sorry if this sounds a little schizo...but this battle has just begun for me.
Phormer Drunk since AVRT
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: California, USA
Posts: 47
Hi June and congratulations. I'm on day two also. Our minds have been sick for a long time. I'm not trusting anything it says except "don't drink". Nothing, absolutley nothing in my life ever genuinely improves because of alcohol. The trick is that it seems to improve immediatley and then the truth comes out for me the next morning. What I wake up to after drinking is the truth. Not the temporary "fix" of a drink...that always dissappears and I'm left with reality. I'm trying to make friends with reality. It's been an enemy for so long. Thanks for reading and it can be done.
Tryin Hard To Think Clear
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Stuck in the middle of nowhere again.
Posts: 157
yeah, this is me second serious attempt in the last 6 or 7 days. stopped for a couple days, slipped, stopped again, came and posted again. I think this is only like my 4th post, so I'm a sobriety infant at this point. filling the gaps is going to be the challenge I think. boredom and I rarely make good bedfellows.
but then again, my mom always used to say "only boring people get bored, and when you are doing something interesting, you aren't boring."
be strong! i'm really starting to see we aren't in this alone.
but then again, my mom always used to say "only boring people get bored, and when you are doing something interesting, you aren't boring."
be strong! i'm really starting to see we aren't in this alone.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Glasgow, Scotland
Posts: 16
Hiya June
Exactly the same here. Day 2 for me too, and I'm also battling with cringeful memories. They're very fresh memories too (from 2 days ago) and I would give anything right now to make them go away.
I'm also experiencing guilt. Guilty at all the trouble I caused my family and guilty for being so selfish.
The guilt and shame can really mess up your mind, and it's very easy to soothe it all away by downing a bottle. My head's really messed up at the moment and I feel totally sick at the thought of how bad a state I got into recently, and the only thing that will make me feel (temporarily) better, is booze.
But, I'm not going to give in this time. If I do, I'll only add more guilt and shame and end up feeling worse than I do now (if that's possible).
Anyway, you're doing really well, so please keep it up!
Exactly the same here. Day 2 for me too, and I'm also battling with cringeful memories. They're very fresh memories too (from 2 days ago) and I would give anything right now to make them go away.
I'm also experiencing guilt. Guilty at all the trouble I caused my family and guilty for being so selfish.
The guilt and shame can really mess up your mind, and it's very easy to soothe it all away by downing a bottle. My head's really messed up at the moment and I feel totally sick at the thought of how bad a state I got into recently, and the only thing that will make me feel (temporarily) better, is booze.
But, I'm not going to give in this time. If I do, I'll only add more guilt and shame and end up feeling worse than I do now (if that's possible).
Anyway, you're doing really well, so please keep it up!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: san fernando valley, CA
Posts: 183
Good luck to us all!!!!
I am looking forward to finally making my family and kids proud. I can't wait til they see that I am no longer that drunk who is always drunk, loud, dumb and annoying anymore.
yes it is only day 2 for me but I really really want to stay sober this time.
My drinking is not helping me with anything in life. It doesn't even help me ignore or forget my problems anymore. It makes me sad and ashamed to be seen.
I look forward to the new me, and to the better days with my kids.
Im sorry I have been drunk so long and I no longer want anyone to see me that way. It is not worth it.
I am looking forward to finally making my family and kids proud. I can't wait til they see that I am no longer that drunk who is always drunk, loud, dumb and annoying anymore.
yes it is only day 2 for me but I really really want to stay sober this time.
My drinking is not helping me with anything in life. It doesn't even help me ignore or forget my problems anymore. It makes me sad and ashamed to be seen.
I look forward to the new me, and to the better days with my kids.
Im sorry I have been drunk so long and I no longer want anyone to see me that way. It is not worth it.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Germany
Posts: 2,058
Stay strong June. Know that this will pass and having support will really help.
I remember those first few days were a mental up and down time for me. I had so many years down with drinking as my companion that when it was removed....well I didn't know what to do.
I also found that when I could think clearly and having made this commitment to sobriety that I really had to give myself a good hard look in the mirror. Everything became so clear but what to do now?
Please take it easy....know that it takes time to adjust to a new life. Every day gets a bit better and having support is key.
I belong to my monthly sober club here and I think you should have one up for September. That also really helped me having another group of folks who are literally going through the same things I am.
Sobriety is amazing!
I remember those first few days were a mental up and down time for me. I had so many years down with drinking as my companion that when it was removed....well I didn't know what to do.
I also found that when I could think clearly and having made this commitment to sobriety that I really had to give myself a good hard look in the mirror. Everything became so clear but what to do now?
Please take it easy....know that it takes time to adjust to a new life. Every day gets a bit better and having support is key.
I belong to my monthly sober club here and I think you should have one up for September. That also really helped me having another group of folks who are literally going through the same things I am.
Sobriety is amazing!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Germany
Posts: 2,058
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
I hope all you day twoers will join the september group - I think it really helps to be with people who are going through the same stuff you are 
The first few days are hard - but there's a lot of support here
D
The first few days are hard - but there's a lot of support here
D
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
I remember Day Two so clearly - nerves so raw, feelings so fragile! I promise it gets better every day - sometimes you can't see how much progress you're making. Then one day you wake up and have hope again - you look forward to things again. The burden is lifted a little each day - be patient and kind to yourselves. It will all be worth it - and this is coming from a lifelong drinker who never dreamed of living without alcohol.
Be proud and hold your heads up - you're doing this thing, and you will have a whole new life without the need to get numb. It's early days yet - don't expect so much of yourselves - you're doing great.
Be proud and hold your heads up - you're doing this thing, and you will have a whole new life without the need to get numb. It's early days yet - don't expect so much of yourselves - you're doing great.
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