Coping with stress...11 days in!
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Join Date: May 2008
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Coping with stress...11 days in!
Since I left detox, my life has just been one long episode of stress.
Things have ranged from thinking my sister was dying and my partner had left me to having to face people sober and burning dinner.
Stress was probably mostly what drove me to drink and use in the first place and I've never really learnt how to deal with it because the magic bottle "fixed" everything.
Somehow my sobriety has passed these tests so far. However, everything is just building up and up and bares down on me like a weight when evening comes. I just sit here and THINK and I can't stop doing it or distract myself.
Meetings are a respite but they don't last long enough and I come back here feeling just the same after half an hour.
The usual suggestions don't seem to work for me; I'm too angry or distracted by the stress to read, take a walk, have a bath, listen to music etc.
I don't know what to do with myself, how to relax, how to stop thinking and stressing. The only way I've ever known has involved alcohol or pills. I need to re-educate myself but it come come quickly enough!
Things have ranged from thinking my sister was dying and my partner had left me to having to face people sober and burning dinner.
Stress was probably mostly what drove me to drink and use in the first place and I've never really learnt how to deal with it because the magic bottle "fixed" everything.
Somehow my sobriety has passed these tests so far. However, everything is just building up and up and bares down on me like a weight when evening comes. I just sit here and THINK and I can't stop doing it or distract myself.
Meetings are a respite but they don't last long enough and I come back here feeling just the same after half an hour.
The usual suggestions don't seem to work for me; I'm too angry or distracted by the stress to read, take a walk, have a bath, listen to music etc.
I don't know what to do with myself, how to relax, how to stop thinking and stressing. The only way I've ever known has involved alcohol or pills. I need to re-educate myself but it come come quickly enough!
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
Hi Harry
Yeah early sobriety was really stressful for me too - I'd self medicated any kind of stress away for years so I was so unused to dealing with it.
I think it gets better the more we deal with it - but by the same token it doesn't hurt to see a doctor or a counsellor if you think you need help right now.
Reach out and get whatever help and support you need to keep moving forward, Harry
D
Yeah early sobriety was really stressful for me too - I'd self medicated any kind of stress away for years so I was so unused to dealing with it.
I think it gets better the more we deal with it - but by the same token it doesn't hurt to see a doctor or a counsellor if you think you need help right now.
Reach out and get whatever help and support you need to keep moving forward, Harry
D
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
Hi Harry! and Welcome!
Be positive, at least you are aware that you need to re-learn how to deal with life...it's what we all have to face. Many will recommend AA, and it's a great program for many. I have been working on myself for a long time, prior to quitting and had a lot of tools in place before I got sober...now everything is clicking into place pretty quickly for me...of course since it took me 5 years to get here it's not really that quick after all.
I read a lot of self-help books and philosophy, did meditation and disassociation excercizes.
SR is a great place to learn and make friends who will do their best to help you:-)
Be positive, at least you are aware that you need to re-learn how to deal with life...it's what we all have to face. Many will recommend AA, and it's a great program for many. I have been working on myself for a long time, prior to quitting and had a lot of tools in place before I got sober...now everything is clicking into place pretty quickly for me...of course since it took me 5 years to get here it's not really that quick after all.
I read a lot of self-help books and philosophy, did meditation and disassociation excercizes.
SR is a great place to learn and make friends who will do their best to help you:-)
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Join Date: May 2008
Location: London
Posts: 337
Originally Posted by Dee74 
Hi Harry
Yeah early sobriety was really stressful for me too - I'd self medicated any kind of stress away for years so I was so unused to dealing with it.
I think it gets better the more we deal with it - but by the same token it doesn't hurt to see a doctor or a counsellor if you think you need help right now.
Reach out and get whatever help and support you need to keep moving forward, Harry
D
Yeah early sobriety was really stressful for me too - I'd self medicated any kind of stress away for years so I was so unused to dealing with it.
I think it gets better the more we deal with it - but by the same token it doesn't hurt to see a doctor or a counsellor if you think you need help right now.
Reach out and get whatever help and support you need to keep moving forward, Harry
D
I just don't know how to get my mind off all my worries, I have a lot of them and they're very real so I'm finding it near impossible to ignore them.
The prospect of just sittin g here night after night feeling like this really is making me DETEST sobriety right now.
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Originally Posted by LaFemme
Hi Harry! and Welcome!
Be positive, at least you are aware that you need to re-learn how to deal with life...it's what we all have to face. Many will recommend AA, and it's a great program for many. I have been working on myself for a long time, prior to quitting and had a lot of tools in place before I got sober...now everything is clicking into place pretty quickly for me...of course since it took me 5 years to get here it's not really that quick after all.
I read a lot of self-help books and philosophy, did meditation and disassociation excercizes.
SR is a great place to learn and make friends who will do their best to help you:-)
Be positive, at least you are aware that you need to re-learn how to deal with life...it's what we all have to face. Many will recommend AA, and it's a great program for many. I have been working on myself for a long time, prior to quitting and had a lot of tools in place before I got sober...now everything is clicking into place pretty quickly for me...of course since it took me 5 years to get here it's not really that quick after all.
I read a lot of self-help books and philosophy, did meditation and disassociation excercizes.
SR is a great place to learn and make friends who will do their best to help you:-)
I have been trying to work on myself for years but it had little effect because I was still drinking and using. I've got to start again right at the beginning AND do it sober!!! It's so daunting.
I've tried meditating but it's not really my thing and the tailend of my withdrawal symptoms snap me back to reality rather quickly. I'd read a self-help book but my mind feels like sludge and it's even an effort typing and reading this thread.
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Originally Posted by LaFemme
What about excercise? Sometimes physical activity provides a great escape from anxiety...you can run away from your problems!
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I had to train myself really hard to live in the day Harry - worries are trying to control the future, which is pretty futile really.
I do what I can to fix the problem I can fix, and then I try not to obsess or worry about the rest.
I know it sounds pithy, but that's really what I do.
D
I do what I can to fix the problem I can fix, and then I try not to obsess or worry about the rest.
I know it sounds pithy, but that's really what I do.
D
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Join Date: May 2008
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Posts: 337
Originally Posted by Dee74
I had to train myself really hard to live in the day Harry - worries are trying to control the future, which is pretty futile really.
I do what I can to fix the problem I can fix, and then I try not to obsess or worry about the rest.
I know it sounds pithy, but that's really what I do.
D
I do what I can to fix the problem I can fix, and then I try not to obsess or worry about the rest.
I know it sounds pithy, but that's really what I do.
D
I wish I could ignore the problems I can't fix but it's just not that simple. When my sister was in hospital I couldn't fix her body or mind but nothing could've stopped me worrying over her. Then, of course, there are the problems I CAN'T fix but still NEED fixing and that is one heck of a dilemma!
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Join Date: Apr 2007
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Someone else here (recycle?) said recently there are problems...and then there are predicaments.
Problems can be generally solved, other situations - predicaments - have no ready solution - they need to be negotiated through....
The trick is knowing which is which, I think.
Some things we shouldn't worry about as it serves no purpose...and other things yeah, we can't help but worry about...but it should never be to our detriment, you know?
If I'm worried to the point of obsession, not sleeping, feeling sick, frustrated ...as an addict I'm on pretty thin ice - and thats when I know I need to call in reinforcements
D
Problems can be generally solved, other situations - predicaments - have no ready solution - they need to be negotiated through....
The trick is knowing which is which, I think.
Some things we shouldn't worry about as it serves no purpose...and other things yeah, we can't help but worry about...but it should never be to our detriment, you know?
If I'm worried to the point of obsession, not sleeping, feeling sick, frustrated ...as an addict I'm on pretty thin ice - and thats when I know I need to call in reinforcements
D
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: New York
Posts: 35,731
Harry,
Life can be so overwhelming sometimes. I nearly drank myself to death trying to solve all my problems. Couldn't sleep, eat or get out of bed from worrying so much. All I wanted to do was numb myself from the pain. Nearly destroyed myself. It couldn't go on. I refused to go out that way. Had to pick myself up day by day and solve what I could and leave the rest for another day. I had no answers. We cannot possibly know the future or what is in store for us. Therefore we cannot solve all our problems.
I learned from this site to live for today. Not to worry about tomorrow. It's hard to get your mind wrapped around that concept I know, but it really does work and takes a lot of stress from your daily life. Deal with what you can and throw the rest away for another time. Your more important than any problem or worry. Some days I could not deal with one little thing. I didn't beat myself up about it just accepted it. This went on for weeks.
My main focus at the time was not drinking. You must find a way to focus only on that! I know you say how?? I can't do it, life is to stressful, I can't manage. I guess what I'm trying to say to you Harry is dig deep, pull your strength from within. Get help from whatever source you have available. Want to be sober and clean more than you want to drown your sorrows and worries. Deal with your life in a different manner than what you've been doing. It didn't work before it won't work now.
Day by Day Harry! We're here for you.
Life can be so overwhelming sometimes. I nearly drank myself to death trying to solve all my problems. Couldn't sleep, eat or get out of bed from worrying so much. All I wanted to do was numb myself from the pain. Nearly destroyed myself. It couldn't go on. I refused to go out that way. Had to pick myself up day by day and solve what I could and leave the rest for another day. I had no answers. We cannot possibly know the future or what is in store for us. Therefore we cannot solve all our problems.
I learned from this site to live for today. Not to worry about tomorrow. It's hard to get your mind wrapped around that concept I know, but it really does work and takes a lot of stress from your daily life. Deal with what you can and throw the rest away for another time. Your more important than any problem or worry. Some days I could not deal with one little thing. I didn't beat myself up about it just accepted it. This went on for weeks.
My main focus at the time was not drinking. You must find a way to focus only on that! I know you say how?? I can't do it, life is to stressful, I can't manage. I guess what I'm trying to say to you Harry is dig deep, pull your strength from within. Get help from whatever source you have available. Want to be sober and clean more than you want to drown your sorrows and worries. Deal with your life in a different manner than what you've been doing. It didn't work before it won't work now.
Day by Day Harry! We're here for you.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Location: London
Posts: 337
Originally Posted by Dee74
Someone else here (recycle?) said recently there are problems...and then there are predicaments.
Problems can be generally solved, other situations - predicaments - have no ready solution - they need to be negotiated through....
The trick is knowing which is which, I think.
Some things we shouldn't worry about as it serves no purpose...and other things yeah, we can't help but worry about...but it should never be to our detriment, you know?
If I'm worried to the point of obsession, not sleeping, feeling sick, frustrated ...as an addict I'm on pretty thin ice - and thats when I know I need to call in reinforcements
D
Problems can be generally solved, other situations - predicaments - have no ready solution - they need to be negotiated through....
The trick is knowing which is which, I think.
Some things we shouldn't worry about as it serves no purpose...and other things yeah, we can't help but worry about...but it should never be to our detriment, you know?
If I'm worried to the point of obsession, not sleeping, feeling sick, frustrated ...as an addict I'm on pretty thin ice - and thats when I know I need to call in reinforcements
D
It's still all really down to semantics though and stressing about "predicaments" is almost worse because knowing I can't solve them is added stress. I really wish I knew how to let it all go but it's either not in my nature or I just haven't learnt to do that yet.
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