50th day, 50th birthday party
Proud Neonephalist
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: North Coast BC Canada
Posts: 1,141
50th day, 50th birthday party
My wife and daughter gave me a surprise 50th birthday party last night - a potluck picnic dinner beside a creek I love, with family and friends. I had a great time, effortlessly mingling with everyone as they sipped their beers, ciders, or coolers, not once wanting one myself.
One member of our extended family is an alcoholic, and every time he tries to quit his wife tells everyone so we won't offer him any booze. I told my wife not to tell anyone as it's my personal battle, and it would be fun to see how long they notice, or how long it'll take them to outright ask. Nobody has asked me if I quit drinking yet, but I'm sure they're curious...it's kind of hard not to notice!
It was a beautiful day, with billowing cumulus clouds and gorgeous soft light. The dogs had a blast playing chase, and thankfully our 120 pound Zain (Pyrenees lab mix) quickly learned that he wasn't allowed to chase the other dogs through the picnic tables!
There had been up to five Grizzlies spotted on that stretch of creek this week. They avoided all the commotion and found quieter fishing spots, but we did see a Black Bear and her cub a couple hundred feet up the creek...a good indicator that the Grizzlies had moved off, and I'm sure she didn't mind all those crazy bi-peds downstream if it meant some unmolested fishing time for herself.
After the party, my wife and daughter and I were walking home from the corner store with ice cream cones in beautiful sunset light when it dawned on me...that was the first sober birthday party for me in 34 years!
We also walked past the beer and wine store where I've handed over untold thousands of dollars, and I thought of the owners HUGE house (their garage has more square footage than our house has) and wondered if they ever thought about how it was payed for on the backs of untold shattered families and lives.
My birthday is actually on Tuesday...but then the party wouldn't have been a surprise, right?
Anywho...just some thoughts from the end of the road on the edge of the continent
Murray
One member of our extended family is an alcoholic, and every time he tries to quit his wife tells everyone so we won't offer him any booze. I told my wife not to tell anyone as it's my personal battle, and it would be fun to see how long they notice, or how long it'll take them to outright ask. Nobody has asked me if I quit drinking yet, but I'm sure they're curious...it's kind of hard not to notice!
It was a beautiful day, with billowing cumulus clouds and gorgeous soft light. The dogs had a blast playing chase, and thankfully our 120 pound Zain (Pyrenees lab mix) quickly learned that he wasn't allowed to chase the other dogs through the picnic tables!
There had been up to five Grizzlies spotted on that stretch of creek this week. They avoided all the commotion and found quieter fishing spots, but we did see a Black Bear and her cub a couple hundred feet up the creek...a good indicator that the Grizzlies had moved off, and I'm sure she didn't mind all those crazy bi-peds downstream if it meant some unmolested fishing time for herself.
After the party, my wife and daughter and I were walking home from the corner store with ice cream cones in beautiful sunset light when it dawned on me...that was the first sober birthday party for me in 34 years!
We also walked past the beer and wine store where I've handed over untold thousands of dollars, and I thought of the owners HUGE house (their garage has more square footage than our house has) and wondered if they ever thought about how it was payed for on the backs of untold shattered families and lives.
My birthday is actually on Tuesday...but then the party wouldn't have been a surprise, right?
Anywho...just some thoughts from the end of the road on the edge of the continent
Murray
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,494
It sounds like a wonderful time, and it's great that you have the support of your family.
I agree with you in not telling people what you're doing, but letting them see the change.
I agree with you in not telling people what you're doing, but letting them see the change.
Ethanol Intolerant
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Cascadia
Posts: 665
Murray that sounds wonderful. Hopefully you were out of the smoke we keep reading about here in the states.
I think not having everyone know your business is a good idea. Other people are own there own path. There is just too many connotations and stereotypes associated with addiction. Not that I would mind discussing it with someone in private, but there is no sense in having a big red A on your forehead either. You are more than your addictiton, and it sounds like you are becoming more everyday.
Best Wishes and Happy Birthday
I think not having everyone know your business is a good idea. Other people are own there own path. There is just too many connotations and stereotypes associated with addiction. Not that I would mind discussing it with someone in private, but there is no sense in having a big red A on your forehead either. You are more than your addictiton, and it sounds like you are becoming more everyday.
Best Wishes and Happy Birthday
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
Happy birthday!
I loved your description of the party and where you live...makes me want to visit!
I don't see any reason anyone needs to know about your decision to quit. I certainly wasn't talking about it last night at reunion as my classmates kept offering to buy me drinks.
I'm so happy for you Murray...you are an inspiration to me, just 10 days behind you:-)
I loved your description of the party and where you live...makes me want to visit!
I don't see any reason anyone needs to know about your decision to quit. I certainly wasn't talking about it last night at reunion as my classmates kept offering to buy me drinks.
I'm so happy for you Murray...you are an inspiration to me, just 10 days behind you:-)
Proud Neonephalist
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: North Coast BC Canada
Posts: 1,141
Thanks
No, the smoke from all the fires was a problem for a couple weeks, then we got some strong winds from the Pacific which blew it all the way to Ontario. We don't have any in our immediate area...being a coastal rain forest, it's usually the last to area to burn.
I agree it's a nice place to live. We don't have a theatre or bowling alley any more and there isn't much in the way of shopping, but if you like the idea of bears and wolves fishing in a creek just a 10 minute walk through the bush from town, well, this is THE place to be
LaFemme - we all inspire each other here on SR in so many ways. I probably couldn't have made it this far without everyone sharing the good, the bad, and the ugly parts of their recovery experiences.
Murray
No, the smoke from all the fires was a problem for a couple weeks, then we got some strong winds from the Pacific which blew it all the way to Ontario. We don't have any in our immediate area...being a coastal rain forest, it's usually the last to area to burn.
I agree it's a nice place to live. We don't have a theatre or bowling alley any more and there isn't much in the way of shopping, but if you like the idea of bears and wolves fishing in a creek just a 10 minute walk through the bush from town, well, this is THE place to be
LaFemme - we all inspire each other here on SR in so many ways. I probably couldn't have made it this far without everyone sharing the good, the bad, and the ugly parts of their recovery experiences.
Murray
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Up, Up and Away
Posts: 434
Congrats on the 50 days and 50 years, Murray! 
7
I've wondered about the same thing, and I just assumed that the owners don't think about it. There are a lot of cold, unfeeling people out there.
7
Originally Posted by Murray4x5 
We also walked past the beer and wine store where I've handed over untold thousands of dollars, and I thought of the owners HUGE house (their garage has more square footage than our house has) and wondered if they ever thought about how it was payed for on the backs of untold shattered families and lives.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Bowling Green KY
Posts: 275
awesome job murray.
i quit last september 9th....and month and a half before i turned 50.
this has been an awesome year. you sound really strong.
i haven't sat down and tracked the money saved this year but i still have a lot of my income tax return in my savings account and it was usually gone by this time of year in the past.
i drove by my liquor store the other day and wondered if they missed the 70+ i was giving them every week.
sucks for them but they aren't getting it back.
looks like your family loves the new you. keep strong amigo.
i quit last september 9th....and month and a half before i turned 50.
this has been an awesome year. you sound really strong.
i haven't sat down and tracked the money saved this year but i still have a lot of my income tax return in my savings account and it was usually gone by this time of year in the past.
i drove by my liquor store the other day and wondered if they missed the 70+ i was giving them every week.
sucks for them but they aren't getting it back.
looks like your family loves the new you. keep strong amigo.
Proud Neonephalist
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: North Coast BC Canada
Posts: 1,141
Happy Birthday to meeee, Happy Birthday to meeee
Today was the official 50th.
When I came home for lunch today my wife and daughter had the house decorated, and all three of us danced to the song "16 Candles" (substituting 50 for 16) as I came in the door. Our daughter (who's almost 9) had three cutting boards set up in a row and took our orders as if she worked in Subway (her dream future job). Mine was cream cheese, tomato, cucumber, pickles, mustard, mayo and pepper. She also made a pinata, which we whacked after lunch.
What made this lunch special, was that I didn't think about alcohol in any way...I was fully present in the moment...to the core. In the past, part of my brain would be worrying about how to leave early so I could get off work sooner so I could get some booze and start drinking.
I'm looking forward to many more "fully present in the moment" experiences as my brain balances itself out.
Murray
Today was the official 50th.
When I came home for lunch today my wife and daughter had the house decorated, and all three of us danced to the song "16 Candles" (substituting 50 for 16) as I came in the door. Our daughter (who's almost 9) had three cutting boards set up in a row and took our orders as if she worked in Subway (her dream future job). Mine was cream cheese, tomato, cucumber, pickles, mustard, mayo and pepper. She also made a pinata, which we whacked after lunch.
What made this lunch special, was that I didn't think about alcohol in any way...I was fully present in the moment...to the core. In the past, part of my brain would be worrying about how to leave early so I could get off work sooner so I could get some booze and start drinking.
I'm looking forward to many more "fully present in the moment" experiences as my brain balances itself out.
Murray
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