swag2

I deleted it last night. Had some trouble, now I have an attitude so some say so IM probably gonna be punching out of here soon, I have not made that decission yet but I just dont seem to click with forums and my old lady bitches nonstop about my obsession with forums , jeez its not a wonder why I have not broken my sobriety yet , its gettin close to my breaking point.

LexieCat

Swag,

You just got out of treatment. Do you really want to go back to whatever it was that got you there?

That's the problem with the "sheer willpower" approach--it only seems to carry us for a little while. I know you have issues with AA. But your objections (that it's old-fashioned, not updated or "fresh") ring a little hollow if your alternative is to drink.

I supplement my AA reading with stuff that DOES make it a little "fresher" for me--I've found some books that tie in Buddhist thought with the Twelve Steps. There are other more modern writings that do the same thing. The Big Book lays out the program, the basic plan, of what has made it possible for many people to successfully live sober. It has worked for so many people, nobody wants to mess with it.

Try opening your mind just a little. Just for awhile. As one of your cartoons noted, you can get your misery back anytime you want.

swag2

I guess not many or doing the forum thing in the morning. This day is starting off just fine , emails from staff about my attitude, wife making snide comments every time she walks by and sees me on the forums. I been banned from 3 sites already, all it takes is one rude post about me and I go off like a bomb. One site in particular I really liked and had a lot of freinds there but then all hell broke loose when some AA thumpers who been there for a long time had to put there two cents worth on my post. Now Im going to my outpatient class till noon were all they talk about is AA and this is what my insurance is paying thousands for? Hello AA is free! Ya I do go to the meetings but its just like sitting thru a church sermon to me. I cant wait to get back to work next week , but odds are I will probably find myself drinking again. Man Im just a hopeless case. All the nagging and people attacking me on the other forums, Im amazed I made it sober this long but there is always tonight. I dont want to sit around and watch tv with her. I would like to do a cool drawing and post it but no scanner and the cell phone pics look horrible, I gotta go so if any one is reading I hope my negativity dont rub ya the wrong way. swag

swag2

You saw that cartoon? that was my best one I think.

HidLid

Well if you feel like your alternatives are sitting around w/ nagging wife or drinking...why not invent alternative number 3? A nice long walk by yourself can give you some time to just enjoy some quiet, doesn't cost anything, won't upset anyone, not gonna do any damage.

LaFemme

Hey Swag,

Well, I had been looking forward to seeing your artwork, but I can understand taking them down.

Personally, I'm not in AA, but if I was in a situation where I was required to attend I would try to keep an open mind and learn what I can from the situation. There methods might not have changed in 80 years, but hey have helped a lot of people and you might be able to find something of value if you try.

LF

Goat

Sorry, man, I was sacked out on the couch with the computer in my lap

You are not a hopeless case. You're just a bit intense, and that's cool with me. I tend to surround myself with people who will tell you what they think and don't pull punches.

There is a whole mix of people here. Some will understand you and some won't. And some will tell you exactly what they think without caring whether it sounds rude or not. (frankly, we all need to be told straight up that we're f'n up sometimes, you know?).

You gotta listen when the admins tell you something, but for the rest of it, take what you need and leave the rest. And keep in mind that a comment may sound rude, but it still may be exactly what you need.

I'd hate to see you punching out of here. Yeah, the old lady will give you a hard time, but it's not HER sobriety you're trying to protect, it's YOURS. Unless she is an alcoholic, she cannot possibly understand what you are going through.

And yeah, some people can sound rude, but we all mean well. If you stick around and stay sober I can't promise things will get better easily, but they will get better. And if you leave and go back into the bottle, it'll all fall apart again.

What you are trying for is a very good thing. And good things are rarely easy

-Goat

LexieCat

Yeah, I saw that one.

You've got a lot of talent. I've noticed something about very creative people with alcohol and drug problems. Writers, artists. A lot of them buy into that "suffering artist" stereotype. The angst, the being misunderstood. A lot of them think drinking or drugging enhances their creativity.

If they manage to get sober, though, instead of dying an early "romantic" death, they find they accomplish more, that their art gets better. Because recovery ain't for sissies. Recovery involves looking into that angst-filled soul, and touching something that allows TRUE self-expression.

CarolD

Swag....I am the SR Forum Leader who removed your post
as you requested.

And TYPING IN ALL CAPS is considered shouting
No one here deserves or expects to be hollered at.
This is not your first rodeo.....I'm surpized you were unaware.

I do hope you settle down here and find whatever
it takes to give you joy and fulfillment in your sobriety.

All my best to you and your lady
Welcome to SR......

Kmber2010

Swag, I hope your feeling better. I know when I was starting out thinking that sobriety was the way to go....man I was pissed off at everyone and everything. I knew the person responsible to blame was me but wow did I look at pointing the finger at others. Even a bump would drive me nuts.

Lots of negativity and anger it seems but then again quitting something we know is destructive but have clung to for so long is not easy. Starting a new life.....and new ways of living is scary. I totally felt that way when I peeled back the layers of my anger. Not sure of what to expect and if I could make it.

Getting sober and beginning recovery takes a lot of hope, faith and arse breaking work. Been there and I tell you I survived as many have. I will also add that I was alone for my detox and for that first week so I did alot of hooting and hollering to the mirror....lol.

A few things I have learned though is that we are accountable for our well being. Not our families, friends, work or anything. If something in our lives is not healthy for us then we need to take steps to change it. That is where recovery is so critical.

I can't speak for any other site/forum but here at SR we are supportive and offer an array of different options. I have yet to meet anyone who gave off a preachy attitude. I may have been defensive at first but let me say that most of us here have tried and tried again and bring a wealth of experience to the table. People sharing their experiences with different programs is to tell you what worked for them and may work for you.

When we ask for help (as hard and frustrating as it is in the beginnning) we are laying it out on the table and people are going to comment from the roads they have walked.

I hope you continue with SR, keep looking at the different options for recovery and know that no one here is judging....definitely not me.

Also know that no matter how strong we are to stay off the bottle......if we keep the same lifestyle choices and attitudes then not much will change and the need to return to our habits will still remain.

Go into this and recovery with an open mind. Nothing is going help you or work for you if you don't give it a chance and let it in. Scary I know but looking at continued self destruction was not an option for me. Did that horrid life for 10 years. Now I am working recovery and have over 4 months. Yeah....I'm gonna say it is working for me.

All the best.....take it all in and do it day by day.