xuse

yeah zone out cant say i know about the sports thing im watching the braves game / little league world series/falcons preseason but i totally get whatcha mean but we are all just sports fanatics thanks

TexasNative

It varies all over the place for me...from not even thinking anything of it to wanting to yell at it, to being amazed by how some people don't have the misfortune of being alcoholic...but luckily I don't wish it was me buying or consuming it. I think 20 years of self destruction is enough. My struggle right now is learnig to live normally again, gets kind of confusing.

stayingstraight

What I noticed from these posts is the feelings that being exposed to alcohol or drinking bring out. They are all negative emotions. People mentioned jealousy, anger, and sadness for instance. Noone said that alcohol evoked feelings of happiness or anything positive. Yet, some, including myself, actually mourn our past drinking as if it were a best friend that died. For me it was comparable to a best friend that my mother said I wasn't allowed to hang out with anymore. When I see people drinking or buying alcohol, I get an awful feeling in my stomach, like nervousness. I get scared. This fear is helping to keep me sober. I want to be afraid of alcohol. I allow that fear to embrace me, so to speak. I feel like it keeps me safe. I don't think I can adequately reach a comfort level with alcohol. What use to be a best friend has turned into an aquaintance I once knew and is now estranged. It's uncomfortable. And I can't stand to be in the same room for very long and maintain civility. I feel anger at times. But the anger is at myself for the time I've wasted drinking and will never get back. But most of all, when I see people drinking, I thank God that I'm not.