Benny

So you sober up, you look around, look at what's gone, things, relationships, etc. you sure feel like drinking and saying screw it, what worse can happen. I know one, the detox deal and the physical pain. But I decided to make a list. It's a shocking to list out injuries, wrecked things, lost things, etc. Truly shocking to see what alcohol has taken from me. It's almost commical that somebody so smart could be so stupid about one little thing, looses all that. Has anyone else done this, made this list?

suki44883

Yep, and I have to say it really is staggering to actually see it all down on paper right before your eyes. Also, you'll think of things later to go back and add to the list because you won't be able to remember everything in one sitting.

Jamison

Yes I have and I have gone way back to my teenage years when I started drinking.

Let me tell ya my list is very long

Benny

Try to add up how much money was spent on these loses, injuries, etc. That's even more shocking to think about. I don't think I could even due it. Let allone what I spent on beer. Stupid

Hevyn

Hi Benny. It's good to remember what drinking cost us - but be careful not to dwell on it. As you said, it causes alot of pain & remorse. Every time I started to get a clear head, I'd go back and rehash all the terrible things that happened because of my drinking, and it kept me from moving forward. I did that for many years, until I decided to look at things differently.

I still have a good chunk of my life left. We aren't meant to wallow around in the past forever. Never forget what happened, but don't torture yourself with those thoughts. You deserve a chance to get well and have a new life. Be kind and patient with yourself.

Dee74

I think Hevyn nailed it, for me.

Looking back in preparation to move on is great - living it over and over again and feeling the same shame and anger over and over, not so much.

I did that long enough
good luck Benny - look forward, mate

D

Benny

That's a good point, the remorse can hurt too. I imagine it depends where you are at. Right now, it helps me to not want to drink. But I can see where one would look back and saying hell with it too.

TexasNative

I've been doing a lot of that lately. It's very shocking. I'll be 37 in a few months and I'm admitting to myself for the first time that on and off (on mostly) I've wasted 20 years chasing alcohol around and letting it control me. Wow.

jackc

We do not regret the past nor do we wish to shut the door on it.

If you never had these troubles you would never have had the Privilege of learning from them and would never be in the position to help others.

Most people never get the opportunity you have right now. Be grateful, stop whining and learn how your experience can help others. We need you out here.

postparty82

Before I became an alcoholic I was good at playing guitar. Now I can't remember how to play.

Before I became and alcoholic I was a great writer and a good public speaker. Now I'm too ashsamed to write and anxious in front of more than 2 people.

Before I became an alcoholic I was sure of myself, perhaps even cocky. Now I second guess everyting I do and feel ashamed.

Before I became an alcoholic I could enjoy myself at sober parties, and loved the night air and looking at stars. Now I just stare off into the sky wishing I had a drink.

penny74

It cost me more than l could afford.
What a waste....
But no use in looking back.

Kmber2010

When I first got sober I did.....then after my relapse...well I focused on the here and now and all the good things I had achieved prior to drinking and the things that I wanted to achieve in sobriety.

I have come a long way baby....(love that line). Like Hevyn shared.....remember and learn but don't dwell on the past.

Recovery for me came in stages. First was actually getting sober....then learning that I couldn't drink socially or moderate again, then focusing on past issues through counseling and learning as much as I could about alcoholism.

I am in early recovery but I continue to work hard everyday and to build a solid foundation for my life.

You are doing that too and I am proud. Remain strong and positive about all the great things in sobriety.

Keep it going!

LexieCat

While it's true that some things drinking took away we will never get back, some we CAN. Our self-respect, our love of life, our hope, our sanity. I think we need to acknowledge the first, but focus on the second.