none4me

I spent several days reading posts on this site prior to deciding I needed to quit alcohol. You have no idea how vital your posts are in aiding others in knowing we are not alone in what we are going through. This is the first time I have had the nerve to post myself.

I quit drinking on 11/2/2009, so I thought. Since then I had no alcohol until about 4 hours ago.

The craving for alcohol had all but vanished for me after the first 2 weeks. It was so incrediable how great I felt. After time' my mind started telling me "You kicked it, you can have a drink without needing it". It is very interesting how our minds work.

I finally gave in. I bought a 6 pack of beer, Beer!! I didnt stop there. I am know seeing double and back in a comfortable place.

How can I be so happy without alcohol and still crave it???

I Know I just had a relapse...I am so ashamed of that. I know I will not drink tomorrow but for how long?

I am so greatful to all of you on this site, your posts have kept me going!

least

Forgive yourself, learn from it, and move forward again. I relapsed too many times to remember, but I never gave up (with the wonderful loving support of my friends here, some friends from AA, and my fantastic counselor) and now have 8 months sober. You can do it too. Try again starting now. You can do this. And try something different this time, instead of or in addition to what you were doing to stay sober. Give it your all. You're worth it.

SparklingSeven

The problem is that alcohol is such a sneaky, sneaky bugger. For me the desire to drink can spring out right out of the blue. But that's normal - even if you are happy without it. It's what you do with that thought or craving that's the key. Every time it happens and you don't pick up a drink is like another little piece of insurance for the future.

I am speaking from experience as I have returned to drinking after a reasonable period of sobriety - and not just the once either.

You need to learn from this so that you are not caught off-guard again - you're not the first and you certainly won't be the last, so don't be too hard on yourself.

Well done for posting your experience.

Hope all goes well!

Stu.

LifeIs

Tomorrow is another day None... Fight it, don't let it (the booze) get the better of you! Be strong and don't beat yourself up over it. Just figure out what the actual trigger was and avoid that situation until you are stronger. Best of luck! :ghug3

Dee74

Welcome to the posting side of SR none4me

It's never different going back...well, worse maybe, in my experience.
You'll find a lot of support here

D

mananagirl

Well, it happens. Alcohol addiction is a brain problem. The brain wants what it wants. People think because they broke the habit they broke the physiological as well. If you get back on track right away you will save yourself a lot of downward spiraling. Feeling guilty about it won't do a thing for you. Learning from it will. What were your triggers, what was going on at the time? Relapse happens to most people at some point. Just think, you got yours over sooner than later. Now get back on track and have a wonderful life.

Recovery1983

It didnt seem like you had a plan during that year of not drinking. I call that "white knuckling" from alcohol. I did it for 10 months and eventually relapsed myself. I thought to myself that if I wasn't drinking then everything would be back to normal, however. I didnt know how to live life without the alcohol. This is where a program comes in handy. In my opinion, I think that alcoholics are wired differently in the brain. It can be a good thing and it can be a bad thing. From my experience, when I mix my brain with alcohol, it is always a bad thing.

I didnt see anything in your post about you working any kind of program. If you think of alcoholism as a disease, you realize that it needs to be treated. People who get sick take medication in order to get better. Diabetes is one that is always compared with alcoholism. People with diabetes have to take medication and do all sorts of thing on a DAILY basis in order to ensure that something doesnt happen. This is no different with alcoholics. Being PROACTIVE in a program on a DAILY basis is like taking our medication for this disease. If you simply just live life without taking your medication, you are not getting better.

There are many programs out there that deal with alcoholism. Find one that suits you and be proactive in it.

LexieCat

Hi, none,

Welcome back. I agree with the others who suggest that this time it might be a good idea to get some additional support from a program. I go to AA meetings 2-3 times a week. It helps keep me focused on the reason I'm not drinking, strengthens my sobriety, and gives me an opportunity to share with others who are following the same path.

TexasNative

It's always worse for me too...way worse. The detox gets worse as well....way worse! As do the feelings of hopelessness. Best wishes.

CarolD

Welcome ..
Glad you decided to join with us

Kitey

I used to drink twice a week in the early days then it was every alternative night then once I stopped getting hangovers it was every night just about..then EVERY night in the last two years then it got earlier and earlier in the day and at my worst I have even started drinking as early as 10 in the morning..

I would sometimes hide a bottle of wine in the Kitchen Cupboard to secretly swig from it as I was cooking as well as drinking Cans. I have hid drink all over the house from the family and was too drunk to remember, I have found half drank cans in the Laundry Basket, the washing Machine, the Microwave, tumble dryer, You name it I hid it!

So pleased I have stopped. I was disgusting!

Harry01854

Like Recovery1983, I have to ask the same question. Other than just staying sober, what if anything were you doing? Were you going to any meetings? Did you have a sponsor? if you were. By any chance did you look into the 12 Steps. The Steps are what has helped people like us to learn a new way of living without alcohol.

Think it over and ask yourself, is there something different you might like to do this time getting sober.

There are a lot of people here that care and are willing to help. Keep coming and let us know how your progress is doing. Don't be afraid to ask questions, no matter how stupid they may appear to be.

Harry

NEOMARXIST

I know that my recovery has to be a 'daily work in progress'. I have to keep active in my recovery every single day.

I am grateful that I have a daily reprieve from my alcoholism.

I will always be an alcoholic and totally accept that gratefully. I know for me then moderate drinking is a total fairytale. No way. I never wanted that and I know that after only 6 beers then I wouldn't be stopping for a good few days solid binging. I might do something in that blackout period that means my life is over forever.

I think it's important to keep active in recovery each day by at least being in contact with fellow recovering alcoholics and addicts at the very minimum. That's why SR is so great. It's here all the time and so simple to access. There is much wisdom on SR and it has been a massive help to me and my recovery. I am ever grateful for SR.

Your previous sober time isn't wasted. Build on what you achieved there and change your recovery strategy so that you're fully aware every minute of the day that to take the first drink is to die. Period. You will never be able to drink with any control.

All The Best.