JR907

I am in a very sticky situation. My boyfriend has recently admitted that he has been taking Oxycontin. He was injured a few months ago and was prescribed vicodin for the pain. He is (was) a recovered addict and is actually on probation. He can not get caught with any type of drug not prescribed to him in his system or he WILL be sent back to prison. He is such a wonderful person, has a very successful career, and our relationship is full of love and support. I have never dealt with this type of addiction and I don't know what to do. He made me swear I wouldn't tell anyone and promised that he'd stop, he even got some soboxine to help him detox off of it. I came home early yesterday and found a hollowed pen with resin in it sitting on the bathroom counter. What am I supposed to do?!!? I confronted him and he just apologized saying he wasn't feeling good and just needed a little....yeah right! I am so confused right now. I don't want to run away but I don't want to enable him. We live together and it's really hard to even be around him right now. I'm losing respect for him, I just can't get that image of that pen out of my head. It has made me feel like he's a crackhead or something. I feel horrible even saying that but I've never had to deal with anything like this. I told him that he HAS to start going to groups and seek out therapy. He can't go to rehab or anything like that because he can't get caught with this in his system. It's such a messed up situation.

LexieCat

Actually, if he WANTS to recover, probably the best thing for him to do is to contact his probation officer, explain that the prescription for the pain meds caused a relapse, and that he needs help NOW.

Probation isn't looking for an excuse to lock people up--if he appears to be proactive and concerned about his addiction, it's a good bet they will work with him to help him. Much worse if he comes in with a hot urine and then 'fesses up. Then it will look like manipulation.

Meantime, regardless what he does, it's clear this situation is causing you a lot of stress. I suggest you check out Nar-Anon, and/or the forum for family/friends of substance abusers.

Mat

I second what LexieCat says. The physical component of the addiction will make it nearly impossible for him to stop without serious help.

You say "like he's a crackhead" as if a crackhead would be diminutive in contrast to his current problem: I can assure you that it is not. One of my childhood friends overdosed on OC and died just last year in a hotel up the street from me. The idea that prescription drugs are less "dirty" than street drugs is fallacious in so many ways.

You also need to think about why he is on probation in the first place?(none of my business obviously) Are you helping him at all by discouraging him from going to his PO? Or are you simply prolonging the time before this all becomes apparent to the authorities anyhow in a MUCH worse way?

julez

I also agree with Lexie

Dee74

Hi JR

Welcome. I'm sorry for your situation.

In my experience the way out of any cycle is to seek help.

To dismiss avenues of help like rehab, or doctors, or even talking to the probation officer because he's actively using, is just going to keep him deeper in the rut.

Just something to think on, and maybe pass on.

I agree with whoever else here said you need to be looking after you though...if you're familiar with the concept of enabling, you already know your bf's recovery is his responsibility not yours.

I hope you will check out our Family and Friends forum too.
Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

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