penny74

It was the problem, then the solution, then the problem etc, etc, etc.

LifeIs

My alcoholism was a problem. All of you posters above have hit the nail on the head!

Now that I have faced the problem of alcohol by choosing to be sober I am working on the symptoms. Some were there prior to my drinking, but were made much worse with the drinking... and here I thought I was helping the problem! Others were a direct cause of my drinking, but many of those have not been automatically removed with the abstinence from alcohol (rats )... so working on them, too!

It is a long road, but I am grateful to be on it. Where I find a dip or a fork, rather than reaching for the bottle, I sit back and study my options. When I make a wrong choice, rather than reach for the bottle, I take it as a lesson in life.

I am having a great time discovering the real me.

yeahgr8

its a symptom like any other addiction...its the full stop to the sentence...

Chops

Great question.....

I had ungrounded and unfounded fear as a kid, now at 32 and 2 years sober I still overact and always think the worse. When other alkies share those type of feelings and emotions I identify.

Having said that... once I stopped drinking so many problems went away, I find I still have some f'ed up thoughts but without booze I am aware of consequences and have control over my actions.

Learning to live without liquid courage can at times be a real pain in the ass though. :-)

insidejob

Something that I discovered through my recovery is that:

Alcohol does not cause alcoholism.

Peter G

Alcohol was never initially my problem, it was my solution to my problems. Early going, it actually worked in that way - as a welcomed distraction.

The problem is that alcohol was a horribly screwed up way of dealing with problems and and an a$$ backwards solution that crept up on me and finally mutated, eventually dwarfing any other problem I had.

Time4me2Change

Hi, my name is Jessica....... I am a self medicator. Sober for almost three months, attending AA & therapy for my underlying "issues".

RobertHugh

Hi Jessica. Welcome. I was a self-medicator too, I just chose booze (and I'd use pills if they were available). For me, it's all about the escape. I drank mouthwash to feel different (and have fresh breath in the process!).

Hang in there.

NewMe11109

Same for me ... alcohol was my solution, not my problem. When I abstained and didn't do a program of recovery, my life got worse. That is why I need to actively work on my recovery every day. I use SR + AA + working with other alcoholics.

Harry01854

And so true it is. And by the process of the 12 Steps and counseling, I did address the underlying issues, which I found it wasn't 100% my own fault in some situations. But most of it was me, and I was more of the problem than I was an answer to the problem. I had to also look at where I went wrong and see what I could have done differently.

There is a solution. Better for me to work on the solution than to be part of the problem.

Harry

Charmie

absoltuelty a symptom for me.
even as a youngster i was restless irratable and discontent....at the age of 13 i drank for effect for the first time and the step 9 promises came into my life...lol.
alcohol was the solution for my malady.....take the alcohol away and what am i left with??
i needed a new solution and for me the 12 steps was the only way.i would not be sat here writing this unless i worked those steps and got the spiritual awakening.
great thread,marvelous programme

zbear23

Alcohol and other "stuff" was a maladaptive solution to my discontent and self hatred. I regulated my feelings with alcohol and drugs, and that worked fine until the negative consequences made it a losing proposition and caused even more shame, guilt and fear. The thing is, I never knew I hadn't ever been feeling "good" until I had a drink and that "made me" feel "good." Aha! says I: THIS is what feeling good is all about!!! All my life I'd felt bad...depressed, lonely, unlovable, inconsequential, etc. etc. Alcohol solved all of that for a while, and when it stopped working I felt terribly betrayed and more depressed than ever.

Of course, ETOH is a central nervous system depressant, and I think I've never yet met a newly recovering alcoholic who didn't face the challenge of depression (and sometimes it is caused by hypothyroidism...a common ailment in alcoholics).

So, my problem ended up being that I had no skills in regulating my feelings from the inside, and become entirely dependent on outside stuff: whether that was alcohol, drugs, relationships, work, food....didn't matter. It was, all a symptom not so much of my powerlessness, but of my willingness to GIVE UP my power. More like learned helplessness.

The psychospiritual course of treatment provided to me by AA and its 12 steps has empowered me to take responsibility for my own thinking and feeling rather than running away from them. The love I found in AA was indeed the antidote to the fear that had ruled my life.

Alcohol was just one of many failed solutions I attempted before becoming willing to "work on the insides, with outside help."

Bottom line....I drank to feel better because I knew of no other way.

blessings
zenbear

AlwaysGrowing

Funny in a funny way.. I've been sober a very long time and these issues still are following me.... They talk behind my back and try to get me to do things.. LOL .. It is a work in progress every day but the bag is soooooo much lighter than when I was drinking.

AG

LaFemme

This is something I feel a little guilty about. While I was drinking I suffered from massive depression, I contemplated suicide, had difficulty getting out of bed in the morning, didn't care about life or my health or my art. From the moment I poured that last bottle down the drain my depression has been gone. I'm not saying it won't return, but for 21 days now my life has been beyond good. All I feel is this amazing sense of freedom.


I just wish everyone could have a similar experience.

Bamboozle

Both.

Still have big problems with depression...but getting help for it...and realizing that even with over a year sober I still have to keep my guard up against alcohol at times.

hearnerules

Thanks for all the wonderful insight on this.

RobbyRobot

Both for me. I drank alcohol to get away from it all, including myself. I was already way far gone on my own trip before alcohol. Drinking gave me a rocket boost into outer space. Or inner space, if you really know what i mean. I used alcohol to F me up good. It's what I wanted back then and it's what I got big time. No way there is any line for me between alcohol being a problem or symptom. Alcoholism took my life and wasted it more than I ever could on my own. It's what I wanted back then, sadly, was to be wasted and done. Toasted.

Today is a different day. Sobriety gives me another chance to live it right this time around being who and what I am today. And everyday after. Warts and all.

RR

Freedom1990

My 'problem' is right between my ears. The alcohol was a symptom.