LexieCat

I know what you mean about retaining stuff that you read better than stuff that you hear. I think different people learn/retain information in different ways. It's part of the reason I never listen to audiobooks of ANY kind--it just doesn't register the same way as reading it does.

Come to think of it, maybe that's a large part of the reason I've always been involved in online support groups. Never thought of it that way, but I'll bet it is.

michelle01

I think it happens because you're an addict/alcoholic. Any reason is good enough. Things going bad, have a drink to feel better (and worse later). Things going good, have a drink to celebrate. I can remember feeling like that constantly and the cycle. That's how I learned to see it to myself and got me through it anyway, because it is baffling.

keithj

Maybe you're jut a run of the mill alcoholic, just like me. And that condition manifests itself in many ways. Self-sabotage, drama addict, self-pity and self-deprecation, whatever. But the core issue is that condition of alcoholism.

There is a treatment for this condition, Firestorm, that many of us have found to be a miracle. And yes, it involves actually using those dusty tools.

It's very simple, Firestorm. Have you gotten beat up badly enough to stop fighting? Because honestly, the fight can go on as long as it needs to. Sometimes all the way to the grave.

You can find a guy today who can show you the treatment for your condition. You can call him up and say "I'm done, I'm f**king dying, and I need help."

Or you can keep asking these questions about why and how you do this to yourself.

One question is relevant. Can you stay away from booze when you really want to or need to? If the answer to that is no, then you are in a world of hurt, my friend.

You may have drank yourself beyond human aid. I hope that's a really scary thought, because it means there is no way to get yourself out of this mess.

Your options are funneling down. Keep going like you're going, struggling and failing, the option of spiritual help.

1_day@_a_time

If you keep reading in Step 1 in the 12 x 12, there is one principle in particular that is paramount to our recovery, one that Keith just specifically spoke of.........

If you can identify it and really really relate to it, it will set you free and down the path to happily & usefully whole.

chassey7

Just wondering Dallas,(after reading your other posts) whether you have been assessed for clinical/situational depression?
Receiving proper treatment can make such a difference..I am not just talking about meds(which have their place)..but perhaps a course of CBT to dig up some of these negative beliefs you have about yourself and reframe your past with more positive self-talk and brighter thoughts for the future.
I have been doing Holosync meditation daily and it has made a significant difference in my life and ability to just say NO to that damaging 1st drink.
Please remember Dallas while you have breath there is HOPE! :ghug3