Stubby23

Thanks again all…sorry for being away, but I had to smoke a brisket a day before… 14hrs, ughhh. Its good but man does that take a toll after a while.
Thanks Kjell…I am not really to sure how far that is from me here in good ol’ Roswell. And thank you for the offer with the PM, likewise my friend.
Any who STLS... that’s a wild story. If I can ask the whole time were you just oblivious knowing what you were doing was wrong, didn’t care?, or felt guilty? When you said you were ‘living it up’ did you ever think it was to hard? Or hell im working, I deserve it? And to answer your question I was sitting by my pits and I just did some soul searching, and pretty much gave myself the Gordon Ramsey treatment in my own head lol. So I came online, typed in ‘sober’ in Google, and here I was. After about a week of panicking and thinking I would be some….I don’t even know what id be classified now… I just decided to sign up, and bear my thoughts.

Fridaynight

Hi Steve, I am brand new as well (and, coincidentally, also in GA) I think the process of deciding whether or now you have a problem with substances has to take some time if it is to be meaningful. Anyone can say Hi my name is XXX and I'm an alcoholic, but to really diagnose yourself, you have to - as everyone says - put in some time at meetings, listening to stories of others and seeing if you relate, reading the big book and self diagnosing. It's the cornerstone of the program that no one else can tell you whether you are or not. And it sure is easy to get confused about a thing like this. I mean, I think most of us do what you do - we don't set out to get insanely loaded. We just want to get that sense of ease and comfort and then maintain that for as long as possible. I use that way - all day. It's easy especially at the begnning of our drinking careers to feel somehow different and protected because we're not living under a bridge (yet). How is it supposed to feel dangerous to engage in an activity that as you said just makes you kind of mellow? I think it's initially impossible to grasp the risk, that it's an actual mind warping activity that threatens your life, before you have experienced some of the devestating consequences first hand. Up to that piont it's like "Whats all the fuss about?" I find in my own case that my disease NEVER comes to me in an obvious way. I rarely for instance have a craving like "I really want a drink." Instead, it comes to me as some sublte thought, like "Boy, that dude who just shared in the meeting is so full of himself; what a blowhard." It's some small thought that just chips away at the positive actions I'm trying to make habits in my life. Add enough of those together, and they inevitably add up to the thought, "I should just have one drink." So you know, there's an expression, You can't scare an alcoholic (or addict). it's really true. So being in a state of less than total certaintly about whether you have a problem is just a normal part of the process. Like the saying goes, all you need to do is be honest about what your behavior and thoughts are, and willing to keep an open mind. If you are able to do those two things, and maybe listen more than you talk at meetings, and go along with some of the suggestions, I'm sure the good stuff will take hold in you. Best of luck!

HumbleBee

Hello Steve and welcome to SR!

You're in excellent company here with a great bunch of people as you've seen. Stick around; you'll find alot of strength and support here and there's no question too silly or post too long or short.

Support is crucial in making the important decision to take your life back, or stop behaving the way you're behaving (as you said), in order to become something.

Endurance drinking, some refer to it as a functional alcoholic, is just a stage of the addiction, I think. As Dee and others have said, it will get progressively worse unless changes are made.

Don't let the past determine your future. Many of us have used substances to numb out events of the past; the problem is is that this only prolongs the pain.

At some point, we have to take the wheel and steer our own lives in the right direction, moving forward; not looking in the rear-view mirror.

I have a saying posted on my wall that I want to share:

Face your past without regret,
Handle your present with confidence,
Prepare for the future without fear.

I'm glad you're here, Steve.

P.S. I think that being a Chef is an awesome profession! Be proud of that.