Well if I make in through one more day it will be three weeks.....not much fun though
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 35
Well if I make in through one more day it will be three weeks.....not much fun though
21st day tomorrow an this has giving me some time to think about what is different. First I sleep well. Get up and goto work without a hitch. But it all changes when I get home. At work I the same old friendly guy just with a litte more confidence knowing that I don't have a drop in my system. But at home I become a hermit. Talking to the family and trying to enjoy life at home seems so far away. I make up an excuse every Saturday:day6:day6 to go out and run errands just to get away from the family ciaos. I know that's not how I want to be. But a few beers at home would allow me to interact so much better. Seems that as soon as I walk in the door my anxiety goes through the roof along with the depression. My family needs me to engage and be part of the family. But the way I feel I just don't have what it takes to be a regular father and husband. My family have been very supportive but I know that I'm in a total different mindset now and it is weird to them to see me come home a nd zone out per se. Dr has me on Lorazapam three times a day (morning, noon, and night) I can muster through the day fine without any but when I get home I need the Lorazapam to calm down. It doesn't make me joyful and full of energy (like with beer)
Ok I've gone on long enough. Just thought maybe someone with the same feelings might be out therel
Ok I've gone on long enough. Just thought maybe someone with the same feelings might be out therel
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 8,326
mftrader,
What are you doing for your recovery? The early weeks are hard. For me, it was like I had to relearn social skills. I had to relearn how to take care of myself. Just getting a walk around the block helps me.
Hang in there, it does get better. It does take work though.
Love,
Lenina
What are you doing for your recovery? The early weeks are hard. For me, it was like I had to relearn social skills. I had to relearn how to take care of myself. Just getting a walk around the block helps me.
Hang in there, it does get better. It does take work though.
Love,
Lenina
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 8,326
mftrader,
My social skills at work where always fine too. It's the ones at home I needed to relearn. Like how to talk to my family, how to "be" there at family functions. Does that make sense? I had to learn how to have fun again.
Love,
Lenina
My social skills at work where always fine too. It's the ones at home I needed to relearn. Like how to talk to my family, how to "be" there at family functions. Does that make sense? I had to learn how to have fun again.
Love,
Lenina
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
hi mftrader - I don't know exactly what you're feeling but I can tell you that I am just now starting to feel a little bit of motivation/energy to do things (and I've got almost 2 months sober). I just haven't seemed to be interested in doing the mundane stuff. It's weird because I feel so much better physically and mentally, yet often want to just vegetate.
At 3 weeks, I was still a little irritable, especially with my two daughters. I just didn't want to be bothered, even though I love them dearly.
I really do believe that PAWS is real. I think if we hang in there, things can only get better. It's still really early in the process, so try to focus on the positive stuff and don't let the other get you down!:ghug3
At 3 weeks, I was still a little irritable, especially with my two daughters. I just didn't want to be bothered, even though I love them dearly.
I really do believe that PAWS is real. I think if we hang in there, things can only get better. It's still really early in the process, so try to focus on the positive stuff and don't let the other get you down!:ghug3
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Germany
Posts: 2,058
MF congrats on the sober time and hanging in there. I am glad you are posting about this. The echo what Lenina said.....the early weeks are confusing as we adjust to our newfound sobriety.
I also ask what other support you are getting for recovery? Have you sought counseling? Counseling helped me deal with underlying issues and provided new ways to handle stress, anxiety and this new me. Remember that getting sober is a new you and requires change. I drank in the evenings too so in the beginning, I posted quite a bit during that time. I would come home and then go for a walk, clean, read self-help books on addiction and research on the web. After a while I began to feel more comfortable.
I would highly suggest seeking a counselor. For many, drinking was a way to cope, mask and deal initially.
Sobriety does take work but it will get better. All the best!!
I also ask what other support you are getting for recovery? Have you sought counseling? Counseling helped me deal with underlying issues and provided new ways to handle stress, anxiety and this new me. Remember that getting sober is a new you and requires change. I drank in the evenings too so in the beginning, I posted quite a bit during that time. I would come home and then go for a walk, clean, read self-help books on addiction and research on the web. After a while I began to feel more comfortable.
I would highly suggest seeking a counselor. For many, drinking was a way to cope, mask and deal initially.
Sobriety does take work but it will get better. All the best!!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
hey mftrader
sounds to me like you have anxiety issues and interaction issues?
Thats not unusual after only 3 weeks.
Think about how long you've been drinking for compared to that. Give it time.
Work was never a problem for me either - there was always a role I played there anyway. It was with my loved ones where I struggled to be me cos I didn't know who 'me' was...I remember feeling much like you. I was shy and awkward, embarrassed without my beer.
Now looking back I think maybe even there was a large part of me that missed it and didn't really want to give it up.
I found it easier to think about the things it was a 'solution' for, rather than the bad stuff.
You need time to work through that.
The other thing is, if we're still thinking about a beer as a solution for those issues, we may not be putting our full effort into looking for other healthier ways to solve our problems...and there are other healthier ways to try and beat social awkwardness and anxiety, or else none of us would still be sober lol .
Stick with it mft - give it time
D
sounds to me like you have anxiety issues and interaction issues?
Thats not unusual after only 3 weeks.
Think about how long you've been drinking for compared to that. Give it time.
Work was never a problem for me either - there was always a role I played there anyway. It was with my loved ones where I struggled to be me cos I didn't know who 'me' was...I remember feeling much like you. I was shy and awkward, embarrassed without my beer.
Now looking back I think maybe even there was a large part of me that missed it and didn't really want to give it up.
I found it easier to think about the things it was a 'solution' for, rather than the bad stuff.
You need time to work through that.
The other thing is, if we're still thinking about a beer as a solution for those issues, we may not be putting our full effort into looking for other healthier ways to solve our problems...and there are other healthier ways to try and beat social awkwardness and anxiety, or else none of us would still be sober lol .
Stick with it mft - give it time
D
Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 83
Hi mftrader, 3 weeks is still very early. I think it's hard for many people to come home after working all day and switch gears to become family guy. You have the added challenge of early sobriety to deal with. I find that the more I get caught up in how I should be, the more I want to escape. I'm still learning to let go of expectations and just enjoy what happens when I show up and listen.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 8,326
mftrader,
Would it be possible to plan a family fun night? Make some popcorn or other snacks they all enjoy and play some cards or a board game. It's not so much about the game, it's about the socializing while playing,
We used to play Crazy Eights and it was so much fun. And good for helping the kids with math skills too. Just an idea.
Hang in there. And has been suggested, you might look into some counseling. It helped me so much.
Love,
Lenina
Would it be possible to plan a family fun night? Make some popcorn or other snacks they all enjoy and play some cards or a board game. It's not so much about the game, it's about the socializing while playing,
We used to play Crazy Eights and it was so much fun. And good for helping the kids with math skills too. Just an idea.
Hang in there. And has been suggested, you might look into some counseling. It helped me so much.
Love,
Lenina
Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Birmingham, England
Posts: 666
I know how you are feeling. I had a bbq to go to yesterday and left after 20 mins. Today is my daughters 3rd birthday and will be having a house full. I am just not in the mood for it and all the laughter as I am only 2 weeks sober. I look like a right miserable git but I just want to go to sleep.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Florida
Posts: 66
I think you're having a problem at home instead of work because home is where you drank, not at work. Therefore work is ok, but home interaction is weird because you've removed the beer.
I know it's hard to see, but reviewing your home life is what it's going to take. Fill that gap that beer used to with new ways to interact with your family. Like Dee 74 wrote, if you're still thinking "beer" then that's a clue that something is not resolved.
Review with your doctor about the meds too. Maybe you can start ramping down soon.
I know it's hard to see, but reviewing your home life is what it's going to take. Fill that gap that beer used to with new ways to interact with your family. Like Dee 74 wrote, if you're still thinking "beer" then that's a clue that something is not resolved.
Review with your doctor about the meds too. Maybe you can start ramping down soon.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Here is the info on PAWS.....
Post Acute Withdrawl - Relapse Prevention Specialists - TLC The Living Center
Perhaps you and your doctor should discuss your meds?
He/she may want to re evaluate
Well done on your sober time.....
Post Acute Withdrawl - Relapse Prevention Specialists - TLC The Living Center
Perhaps you and your doctor should discuss your meds?
He/she may want to re evaluate
Well done on your sober time.....
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