almay777

I need help. I really do. I just need to do one day. I know that once I have managed to go one day without a drink I will be able to have a shot at this. Any tips on how to get through day 1 appreciated.

TwelveSteps

Hey there and welcome. The first day is hard indeed, but you can definitely do it.

Drink a lot of water. Take B vitamins. If you're having shakes or anxiety, drink chamomile tea.

Remember that every day forward is a day further out from withdrawals.

GG

Starburst

Hi Almay, sorry u having a hard time, perhaps if u can tell us what triggers you, or do u have a specific time? perhaps going for a walk or run, clean the house, anything to keep your mind occupied. ((HUGS))

mf150

Almay-

You're already well on your way. I've gone through some nasty withdrawls these past few days, but I've gotten through them with the help of the people on this site. Reading their experiences has given me the reassurance I've needed to continue despite the anxiety, nausea, headaches, and sleepless nights.

Some advice that was given to me:

If the withdrawl symptoms (anxiety, etc) gets too bad, a trip to the doctor may be in order. I'm sure they can help out.

Please keep us posted and hang in there.

almay777

Its like I cannot be comfortable unless I drink. I am an evening drinker and am used to getting home and drinking pretty much straight away. I wont stop until I go to bed. Then I wake up in the morning feeling terrible and ashamed. I stopped drinking for 8 days just over 3 weeks ago, then went on holiday and have been drinking every day since I got back. The problem is I cannot remeber how I did that first day. I know getting through the first day is what helped to give me the confidence for day 2, then day 3. I just found not drinking on holiday pretty much impossible. I think I knew deep down I would drink. Told myself when I got back I would stop. But I havent. and feel like I cant.

I feel like I have no power over my ability to stop. This site has been great and I log on every day to read peoples experiances and stories. Everyone here is incrediably brave and determined. SR is all Ive got right now to remind me that people can stop.

NewBeginning010

Know you can do this, just dont pick up that first drink. Keep delaying it until later, eventually it will be late and you will just want to sleep.

Not having any booze around helps too.

What are the specific challenges that you are having?

mf150

I'd def. have to agree with newbeginning010, if the alcohol is in your enviornment, it will be that much harder to say no to that first drink.

I also agree that you can do this!

almay777

It doesnt help that my partner keeps buying it!!! He isnt a heavy drinker but I do not think he recognises how ill I feel all of the time and never voices concerns over how much I drink (1 and a half to 2 bottles of wine EVERY evening). So I dont really talk to him about it.
I have told him this morning that I do not want to drink tonight and am praying he does not buy more wine (have none left at home as drank it all last night).
I really want my life back. The 8 days I went without alcohol were amazing. I feel sad that I did not keep going.

mf150

I hope that your partner is supportive of your decision to stay sober. I can't tell you how important it is to communicate with him that having the alcohol in your living area makes recovery harder.

I'm sure he wants what's best/healthy for you.

Ultimately, the choice to drink again is yours. I think that we are strong enough to not drink regardless if it's around. I can't stand the smell of beer anymore (the smell makes me gag LoL).

Just think, in a few days you'll start feeling better.

YOU CAN DO IT.

Richard54

alma im like you my partner is still drinking.
and im still struggling...the only success i've found is gearing my brain up to quit for ...(me?)....Don't worry about him, quit for yourself.
8 days?....You can do it again.
For yourself.

almay777

I hope so. I hope I am here tomorrow saying that at long last I did it and am now on day 2. I want to be sober. I want to be happy. I am scared to ask my partner to remove alcohol as that means I actually have to admit my problem to him. I have never done that - I guess I am embaressed. He must know though by the sheer amount I am drinking. I have told him I do not want to drink tonight so normally when I say that, he does not buy it. Fingers crossed as I really want today to be day 1. Thank you so much for all your support.

Starburst

Hi Almay, i know it must be hard, when this evening comes, change your routine, perhaps a lovely big bubble bath, with soothing chamomile and lavender essential oils. very calming. Then perhaps tuck yourself in bed with a nice book, some chocs (whatever u fancy) and then an early night sleep. if you really need to drink, make yourself a lovely passion fruit cordial (this is non alcoholic) add lemonade/sprite, top up with ice, its divine. Change your mindset. Go girl, u can do it!

mf150

From what you said, it seems that he is receptive to you. I'm willing to bet that he cares for you. I'm also willing to bet that if you are honest with him about being addicted to alcohol, and needing help, he will not buy wine. You might be suprised (in a good way).

I think it's easier to have supportive people in the house when you're choosing to stay sober. Give him the chance to be supportive by being honest with him about your drinking problem.

For the longest time, people around me noticed and even mentioned that they were concerned about my drinking. Despite these warnings, I wasn't able to see that I had a problem.

At least you know what you want: sobriety and you are aware of what you need to do to get there.

Don't doubt yourself. You have already taken the first steps.

mf150

Chamomile Tea helps! I tried it for the first time today at the urging of people here! A Sprite sounds good, too.

almay777

I am willing to try anything to stop me taking that first drink. I know that I will struggle to get any kind of sleep tonight without alcohol in my system. But if I keep going I know sleep will come. I am praying that today is day one, I really am. I dont want to let myself down again :-(

mf150

Today IS day 1.

All you have to do is say NO to that first drink. I'm sure you can do that.

The past few night have been rough for me...mind going 1000 mph/kph, headaches, body aches, restlessness, nausea, stomach (the other end), lack of energy, etc etc. Pure Hell!

This night, I'm actually feeling much better!

Please don't doubt your own strength.

MelindaFlowers

Hi Almay,
Hooray for your first day. I think day 1 is twenty times harder than day 2. For me, I am always hung over on day one. Feeling terrible during the day isn't the best recipe to say [I]this is it[I] for me. Why? Because I always cured my headache with the first cocktail, then the second, third, fourth, and repeat until I passed out that night. What an awful cycle. On my four 'day 1's since May it can come down to counting/passing the minutes.

Pop in a movie. Read on here for seven or eight hours. Find any way to fill the minutes and hours until you fall asleep. Poof! You wake up feeling good and you're on day 2. Sure that sounds simplistic. Trust me and everyone here: It's not. But for me at least, some of it is mind over matter. Fill the minutes.

A few nights ago I even shouted at myself in the mirror: Don't drink you fat cow! (gained 30 lbs in three years from drinking). I looked so dumb in the mirror I started laughing. It took my mind off drinking for a few minutes. So did convincing my significant other not to call the men in the white jackets. I did not drink that night.

On my day 2 and 3 I feel great and fill up with my evenings with busy-busy distracting stuff like the gym, watering the yard. It's amazing how much more I am motivated to stay sober for today when I already feel good.

Hang in there and keep us updated!

TwelveSteps

Almay -- I was also a maintenance/"just to sleep" drinker. It's actually very common.

You can do without it, though. Eventually you will sleep (and will sleep much better).

Hang in there!

GG

Grace2

Morning Almay. We started this together before you went on hol ( i was disgrace, now I've changed it to Grace). We can do this together. Your drinking style is so similar to mine. I blew it last Friday and started afresh from Saturday. I did the best thing ever, up to now, I went to a few A.A meetings. I read my little leaflet each day so here is the first paragraph. I keep the leaflet on my desk at work and keep reading this bit to keep me strong.

JUST FOR TODAY

Just for today, I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle my whole life problem at once. I can do something for twelve hours that would apall me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime.

Just one day at a time Almay! Keep busy.

Love G.xx

artsoul

Thanks for sharing that Grace - it helped me to read it today!

Hang in there, almay. If you can't get up the nerve to tell your husband that you're an alcoholic, maybe you can do what I did with my two girls: I told them that I felt I was becoming too dependent on alcohol and was going to try to quit drinking. I didn't shock them with the amount I drank, or make big promises. Still, they were proud of me.

As far as getting through that first week or so, I think the mental stuff was just as bad as the physical. I put off everything other than sobriety (lived at SR for two days straight). I'm self employed, so fortunately I didn't have to fake an illness, but I'm so glad I took a few days off and just focused on getting better/sober. Everything seemed so overwhelming for at least the first 3 or 4 days.

Hang in there, and print out Grace's reading. You can do it this time!! It's worth it, girl!