Jessi

I kind of stumbled onto this website and I'm not sure why. I'm not sober but I kno I have to start. I just dont kno where or how to start. How do you leave everything you kno, it's a way of life for me. Getting high is the only part of my day that I enjoy and look forward to. I started drinking when I was 11, drugs at 12. I've been functioning with it for about 11 years and never really thought about stopping until now. I'm barely able to keep my head above water. I'm spending all my money, getting involved in scarey relationships built on drugs that I kno will just end in heartache- I'm lucky if thats it. When I go without my skin feels like its crawling and my body feels like its on fire. I can only think about one thing- getting more. Like right now I'm supposed to be writing a paper for college and I could care less about it. The only reason I've been able to keep up with all the 'smart' people is doing alot of coke and perscription drugs. I worked my ass off for years just to get where I'm at and now I'm throwing it all away. Honestly, I probably wont ever get back on this website, I'm not sure why i'm writing this. No one knows about my dirty little secret except for my druggie friends and my dealer so I guess I just wanted to tell someone.

Mark75

You just did... get started, I mean. Welcome to SR. If you come back, we'll be here.

Norther

A great first step is telling someone, which you just accomplished. Probably the next step is to tell a medical professional. If you're like I was, you're afraid to do this because you're so afraid of actually quitting. But it is really a great relief, you'll find, to get on a path to freedom from the drug and all the pain it causes. The pains of quitting pale by comparison, believe me. Best of luck to you, and please come back.

aasharon90

Do you know anyone close by
that is in recovery? It's doesnt
matter if they r in AA or NA.

Alcoholics Anonymous
Narcotics Anonymous

A family relative?
A friend of the family?

Someone gotta know some-
one in recovery.

Think.

Dont hesitate to pick up the
phone to ask where this
person is so they can come
pick up up.

People in recovery will come
help u.

Think for a moment who can
u reach out to.

If u need to look up the number
for the central office for AA right
on campus or area...look it up.

Let them know u need help and
can someone come help u.

If u can muster up enough strength
to stay in school then u can muster
up enough courage to call.

I commend u for staying in school
for as long as u have with the
situation ur in.

Get help so u can finish school.

Its that important. U r that IMPORTANT.

Jessi

wow, I wan't expecting anyone to actually respond to that. It was.. really nice. I'm not used to that I guess. To answer, I do have people around me, but everyone I'm friends with or am close to in my family have problems if their own. It's kind of wierd that my family thinks I'm the only "normal" one without a drug/drinking problem and here I am. My dad said to me that I think I'm better than everyone else because I stay out of trouble, then he put a cigarette out on my arm, so if I told them they would just..I dont know laugh. But you're right, there's always NA, I'm very familar with that so I dont have an excuse
And, yes, I'm completely terrified to quit. Even though I hate it I love it. Its hard to imagine a life without it. It's weird to look at people that are so happy and they're sober. Ive never been able to make that connection. If I do this then I'll be completely alone with it. I wont be able to hang out with any my friends and in alot of ways theyre the only people I have. How did you guys do it

least

When I wanted to stop drinking MORE than I wanted to drink, I was able to stop. It takes effort and some sacrifice but it sure beats my old destructive way of life.



?????? THis is your dad???? Can you get away from him? Doesn't sound like a loving father to me....

aasharon90

Friends....those so called friends
are probably still at the club where
I met them. I had to leave them
behind.

Family....I had to move away from
them because it was not healthy
for my recovery.

I found that the only people that
truely understood me, the ones
that had similar situations as I,
the ones that didnt judge me and
accepted me for just who and what
I am are those in recovery.

Changing people, places and things
associated with drugs or alcohol
is where u will need to begin.

Surrounding urself with recovery
will ultimately help u collect some
one days at a time together.

Once u get rid of the poisons and
toxins in ur system then the quality
of ur life will begin to improve.

I so admire the young generation
who are doing something to better
their lives without the use of drugs
or alcohol.

U will eventually become a shining
example of how this program works
before u know it.

Dee74

Hi Jessi

I was terrified of sobriety too - I drank or drugged most of my adult life.

I knew I was getting in more and more deep, but the fear of change and of the unknown kept me in my uncontrollable life....

I ended up drinking all day everyday, and I nearly died.
Sadly, I was so messed up, that was the only way I found the courage to make a different choice.

I hadn't found SR then. The support here is amazing. Maybe I might have been able to stop my descent earlier, who knows?

I hope you'll be smarter than I was and stop now

I hope you do come back again.
Welcome
D

aasharon90

We have some AWESOME folks here
with some encouraging suggestions
to help you begin ur journey.

The support and fellowship here
makes staying clean or sober
alot easier and helpful.

Here in SR you are never alone.

Just ask for what you need and
someone will be around shortly
to share some experience strength
and hope with u to help u.

mirage

Keep coming back here, Jessi. Even if you don't try to stop right away..come here and read and read. I'm pretty sure you'll get inspired..it's hard not to. These folks are wise and they've been there. There's a lot of good advice and support here..welcome!!

Margareth

Right, let me start by saying that if my father (and in order to get on with my life I had to break of contact with my family too) thought it was normal to put cigarettes out on my arm after he told me I'm the only one who was staying out of trouble I would probably have a substance abuse problem too. I mean what kind of a double message is that: You're a good boy?girl and here is how I reward you."

That said you are the one who puts all that rubbish in your body and you are going to have to make your choices if you want to get off them but they are going to be very difficult because quite possibly you may have to make the choice to leave your family in order to give yourself a chance.

Are you in any position to get to a addiction advice centre because apart from possible medication they usually have councillors that may be able to help you sort out the complex issues you are facing while you sort out the different emotions that come with having to make these choices.

You made the first step. You came here. Good for you.

NewBeginning010

to SR you will find a lof of people understand what you are going through here.

Take Care & keep posting ;-)