I'm back
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 367
I'm back
Again :-)
Had some extended periods of sobriety thanks in large part to this site in the past...
The lure of the booze gets me though I convince myself I can control it. Of course that might happen for a short while, then its back to pounding the drinks down again day after day.
Anyway, I'm back , Day 1 (again)
I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.
I'm going to spend more time here again reading and with a little help from the 'big guy' maybe I can finally loose this urge to drink. There is no battle to fight for me anymore the war was lost many years ago what I need is some kind of spiritual help to erase the compulsion
Had some extended periods of sobriety thanks in large part to this site in the past...
The lure of the booze gets me though I convince myself I can control it. Of course that might happen for a short while, then its back to pounding the drinks down again day after day.
Anyway, I'm back , Day 1 (again)
I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.
I'm going to spend more time here again reading and with a little help from the 'big guy' maybe I can finally loose this urge to drink. There is no battle to fight for me anymore the war was lost many years ago what I need is some kind of spiritual help to erase the compulsion
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Hi Richard - I'm really new here, but like you have been on and off with alcohol for years. I'm glad you're back. Why is it that we think we can somehow outsmart alcohol? It's a never ending pit, and it dawned on me recently that even if I COULD control my drinking, I'd still be miserable because I'd always want more. Social drinkers don't spend their time craving, counting, plotting, planning and regretting. Duh. Hope I finally GOT it this time.
Hey, I hope you'll join the Class of May 2010 thread. We can get through these first days/weeks together.
Hey, I hope you'll join the Class of May 2010 thread. We can get through these first days/weeks together.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 367
Thanks artsoul I will pop in the class of May although I've already been in a few 'classes' here already, sheesh .
You're right about always wanting more that's for sure.
It's impossible to control it for people like you and me.
You're right about always wanting more that's for sure.
It's impossible to control it for people like you and me.
Go ask the Multivax
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 2,481
Heya Richard,
The 54 after your name, is that how old you are? I ready once in a Harvard journal years ago when they were free on-line that the average life span of a male chronic alcoholic was 54. So, there's some incentive!
My own dad dies from cirrhosis in his 40's.
The 54 after your name, is that how old you are? I ready once in a Harvard journal years ago when they were free on-line that the average life span of a male chronic alcoholic was 54. So, there's some incentive!
My own dad dies from cirrhosis in his 40's.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 367
Hey Alizerin
Actually 54 was my age when I first joined SR.
I'm 55 now....for sure that is some incentive...thanks
I HAVE to stop before my liver explodes ...hate to think of how much damage I've done already
Actually 54 was my age when I first joined SR.
I'm 55 now....for sure that is some incentive...thanks
I HAVE to stop before my liver explodes ...hate to think of how much damage I've done already
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,518
Richard, I agree that there is no battle to fight. I feel the same way.
It's in the acceptance of the addiction, that you begin to recover. It's in the acceptance of the addiction, that it begins to lose its power.
It's in the acceptance of the addiction, that you begin to recover. It's in the acceptance of the addiction, that it begins to lose its power.
I'm glad you're starting over again. 
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 367
Thanks least. I remember you well.
We've all had our ups and downs.
SR is so incredibly inspiring.
When you see the successful people actually making it, it gives hope that it CAN be done.
It makes the impossible hurdles seem actually attainable when reading of other peoples success.
We've all had our ups and downs.
SR is so incredibly inspiring.
When you see the successful people actually making it, it gives hope that it CAN be done.
It makes the impossible hurdles seem actually attainable when reading of other peoples success.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 367
Hi there yeahgr8
What am I going to do differently this time?
Very good question, one that I've been contemplating all day actually.
The main thing I suppose is NOT to lull myself into having that first drink in an unguarded moment.. obviously. But how to do that is the key.
I know I'm going to have to formulate some kind of longer term plan... perhaps I'll give AA another shot although meetings never kept me off the booze for very long in the past, I wasn't working the steps though and never had a sponsor.
The longest period I've had sober was 6 months and that was with no meetings at all. It was more of just a complete change in thinking at the time that gave me that somewhat limited success.
I'm an alcoholic. I can't drink 'normally'. I've been like that for years. I accept it.
Once I make it through this week sober I will likely get to some meetings.
I can also access an addiction counsellor through my work's employee assistance program.
In the meantime I guess I'm just turning it over to my God. With his assistance I didn't drink today and I know tomorrow will be the same.
I have a feeling I'll also be spending quite a bit of time here.
Have a good evening.
What am I going to do differently this time?
Very good question, one that I've been contemplating all day actually.
The main thing I suppose is NOT to lull myself into having that first drink in an unguarded moment.. obviously. But how to do that is the key.
I know I'm going to have to formulate some kind of longer term plan... perhaps I'll give AA another shot although meetings never kept me off the booze for very long in the past, I wasn't working the steps though and never had a sponsor.
The longest period I've had sober was 6 months and that was with no meetings at all. It was more of just a complete change in thinking at the time that gave me that somewhat limited success.
I'm an alcoholic. I can't drink 'normally'. I've been like that for years. I accept it.
Once I make it through this week sober I will likely get to some meetings.
I can also access an addiction counsellor through my work's employee assistance program.
In the meantime I guess I'm just turning it over to my God. With his assistance I didn't drink today and I know tomorrow will be the same.
I have a feeling I'll also be spending quite a bit of time here.
Have a good evening.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
Thanks man, its morning here in sunny Abu Dhab at the moment, 9ami:-)
The addiciton counselor sounds like a good tool to use? You are very lucky to have this at your disposal so hope you use it!
AA....hmm...there are some people who go to AA who stay not drinking by going to meetings, totally different animal to me though, meetings alone would never keep me sober.
I didn't understand all this before going to AA so i was totally in the same boat as you but when i went into the rooms i was told to get a sponsor which i did immediately and was told that the way to get a spiritual awakening and to stay sober and happy long term was to work the steps as quickly as possible to the best of my ability.
My sponsor has 24 years sober, i know that time is not a reflection of quality but he does have both, he got sober on 2 meetings a week, there weren't anymore in the area...he shopwed me how to work the steps and get sober, i hope you go back to AA and this time look for a sponsor and i hope that you have guidance to choose the right one because if you do that you're life will change and you will leave this nightmare existnce for a life that you didn't think you could have...
Then you can choose to do what you want, when you want and go anywhere you want at anytime with complete freedom from the slavery of alcohol and the persistent mental turmoil and obsession that accompanies it...God (my HP) keeps me sober not meetings, i had to work the steps to get close to Him first and had to follow guidance as i didn't know how to do this myself...its there waiting and IMO you sound ready now...
Try not to get caught up in the BS again of pick yourself up dust yourself off and start right over again...you've done that like me many times...desperate times calls for desperate measures...even working the steps:-)
The addiciton counselor sounds like a good tool to use? You are very lucky to have this at your disposal so hope you use it!
AA....hmm...there are some people who go to AA who stay not drinking by going to meetings, totally different animal to me though, meetings alone would never keep me sober.
I didn't understand all this before going to AA so i was totally in the same boat as you but when i went into the rooms i was told to get a sponsor which i did immediately and was told that the way to get a spiritual awakening and to stay sober and happy long term was to work the steps as quickly as possible to the best of my ability.
My sponsor has 24 years sober, i know that time is not a reflection of quality but he does have both, he got sober on 2 meetings a week, there weren't anymore in the area...he shopwed me how to work the steps and get sober, i hope you go back to AA and this time look for a sponsor and i hope that you have guidance to choose the right one because if you do that you're life will change and you will leave this nightmare existnce for a life that you didn't think you could have...
Then you can choose to do what you want, when you want and go anywhere you want at anytime with complete freedom from the slavery of alcohol and the persistent mental turmoil and obsession that accompanies it...God (my HP) keeps me sober not meetings, i had to work the steps to get close to Him first and had to follow guidance as i didn't know how to do this myself...its there waiting and IMO you sound ready now...
Try not to get caught up in the BS again of pick yourself up dust yourself off and start right over again...you've done that like me many times...desperate times calls for desperate measures...even working the steps:-)
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Germany
Posts: 2,058
Hey Richard - Glad to see you are back on the horse again. I remember you from my attempt at sobriety back in January. I went about 3 months and well.....didn't continue with support, didn't take the life style change as seriously as I should've and thought I could handle "a drink once in a while." Ummmm.....nope I couldn't. Had a few drinks and then suffered an injury that had me laid up on crutches and what did I do. Out to the store and whammm......had a nasty few day binge and all of the anxiety/panic attacks came rushing back in.
Dusted off and sober again. Didn't take more then this last one to change me for good.
Definitely work with the counselor, keep with SR and I totally agree that the Lord has much to do with my sobriety as in seeing me through each day and giving me the strength to make the positive changes in me and around me.
Keep posting my friend. I know that if I drink again....well it will probably be the end of me since my body can't take any alcohol anymore. I wouldn't want anyone to go through what I did.
God Bless
Dusted off and sober again. Didn't take more then this last one to change me for good.
Definitely work with the counselor, keep with SR and I totally agree that the Lord has much to do with my sobriety as in seeing me through each day and giving me the strength to make the positive changes in me and around me.
Keep posting my friend. I know that if I drink again....well it will probably be the end of me since my body can't take any alcohol anymore. I wouldn't want anyone to go through what I did.
God Bless
Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: UK
Posts: 241
Hi Richard, welcome back.
I have failed many times, knew I was an alcoholic, thought I had accepted it too...but I never had. This last time I got a real shock, which led me to fully accept that I am an alcoholic.
I'm only on day 5 here, but feel a complete change within myself, due to this full acceptance. This could have only come with the amount of relapses I have gone through, not before......so hang in there....you will get there x
I have failed many times, knew I was an alcoholic, thought I had accepted it too...but I never had. This last time I got a real shock, which led me to fully accept that I am an alcoholic.
I'm only on day 5 here, but feel a complete change within myself, due to this full acceptance. This could have only come with the amount of relapses I have gone through, not before......so hang in there....you will get there x
Resident
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Toronto, Ontario
Posts: 4,150
Welcome back old classmate and good luck to you.
Regular posting in our class thread seemed to really help you the first time and hopefully active participation in the class of May will do the same for you this time.
All the best.
Regular posting in our class thread seemed to really help you the first time and hopefully active participation in the class of May will do the same for you this time.
All the best.
Blu**ed Lines...A ClockWork SR
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: AZ
Posts: 2,529
Welcome back! Never quit quitting until you quit... I habitually picked up again untill I got it. Now on month 10 and most of the voices have stopped; it actually feels real. Maybe try something different this time? Keep us posted. I vividly remember my (hopefully last) day one. Was not fun...
perpetual optimist
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Montana
Posts: 2,959
Hi Richard! Your fellow Jan. classmate here to wish you the best. I remember your long period of sobriety......you were sooooooooo happy and soooooo strong. He is in there and I know you will find him again as you have already proved this.
Take care of you!!!!!!!!!!!
Hugs.
Take care of you!!!!!!!!!!!
Hugs.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Columbus, Ohio
Posts: 645
Quote: "I know I'm going to have to formulate some kind of longer term plan... perhaps I'll give AA another shot although meetings never kept me off the booze for very long in the past, I wasn't working the steps though and never had a sponsor."
I found that AA works the best when I got a sponsor and worked the steps. Knowing that I am an alcoholic did not keep me sober. Knowing all about the disease of alcoholism did not keep me sober. What keeps me sober is the spiritual awakening (i.e., psychic or personality change) that happened in me after I worked the 12 steps of AA.
Quote: "The longest period I've had sober was 6 months and that was with no meetings at all. It was more of just a complete change in thinking at the time that gave me that somewhat limited success."
Meetings alone are not enough to keep me sober. A complete change in outlook, attitude, emotions, perspective, etc. (i.e., a spiritual awakening via the 12 steps) is what I needed.
Quote: "I'm an alcoholic. I can't drink 'normally'. I've been like that for years. I accept it. Once I make it through this week sober I will likely get to some meetings."
Why wait a week to go to meetings? My suggestion is to take advantage of all the help and support you can get. There is no reason to wait.
Quote: "I can also access an addiction counsellor through my work's employee assistance program."
That's a great idea.
Quote: "In the meantime I guess I'm just turning it over to my God. With his assistance I didn't drink today and I know tomorrow will be the same.
I have a feeling I'll also be spending quite a bit of time here."
That's another couple of great ideas. Welcome to SR. I hope you keep posting. Let us know how things are going for you.
SusanLauren
I found that AA works the best when I got a sponsor and worked the steps. Knowing that I am an alcoholic did not keep me sober. Knowing all about the disease of alcoholism did not keep me sober. What keeps me sober is the spiritual awakening (i.e., psychic or personality change) that happened in me after I worked the 12 steps of AA.
Quote: "The longest period I've had sober was 6 months and that was with no meetings at all. It was more of just a complete change in thinking at the time that gave me that somewhat limited success."
Meetings alone are not enough to keep me sober. A complete change in outlook, attitude, emotions, perspective, etc. (i.e., a spiritual awakening via the 12 steps) is what I needed.
Quote: "I'm an alcoholic. I can't drink 'normally'. I've been like that for years. I accept it. Once I make it through this week sober I will likely get to some meetings."
Why wait a week to go to meetings? My suggestion is to take advantage of all the help and support you can get. There is no reason to wait.
Quote: "I can also access an addiction counsellor through my work's employee assistance program."
That's a great idea.
Quote: "In the meantime I guess I'm just turning it over to my God. With his assistance I didn't drink today and I know tomorrow will be the same.
I have a feeling I'll also be spending quite a bit of time here."
That's another couple of great ideas. Welcome to SR. I hope you keep posting. Let us know how things are going for you.
SusanLauren
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