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We are exactly where we should be..the first 30 days

Old 04-25-2010, 08:08 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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This is a great thread and I've enjoyed reading through it all.

I don't have anything to offer as I have never managed to get past the 3 month mark.
3 months of sobriety seems now to me an amazing feat.
More recently I managed 1 month.

I do remember when I started on my recovery which led me to reach 3 months, that after a few days of struggling, I broke down and cried....I gave it up I suppose......so when the cravings start this time.....I'm gonna bawl my eyes out and cry.
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Old 04-25-2010, 09:49 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Wow. I can't tell you how much I'm learning from all of this.

Box and Stay, in particular, I think (here I go again) that alcoholics have a penchant for reaction and impulse. Those first 30 are hard enough, given our physical bodies are screaming for release, but to learn that "this too shall pass" is an entirely counter-intuitive way of thinking for us. Quick fixes and a "check" mentality is the way I have dealt with my entire life. To think of the "long haul" just makes me viscerally recoil. Bring in the phrase "one day at a time"....but far easier said than done, at least in my case. It's like teaching a fish to fly. But I think (!!!) once we do see firsthand that things do pass, the world doesn't crash, that we can't (and don't need to) fix everything, maybe that's a small beginning. Just like Zip and Wakeup said...maturity.

Zbear, I was hoping you'd stumble upon this thread and, like you, I am an aging hippie. I actually read through everything you have posted to date and have gotten much from what you have said.

Dee (and everyone else who has told me this), I agree that it's actions, not words that bring us relief. "Just do it". Like you, I found that many of the "problems" I blamed for my drinking disappeared or dramatically improved once I stopped. Imagine that!!!! All that time I spent, when the answer was right there. I had had it backwards for so long.

But oh the mind, it's like trying to shake off your shadow, isn't it? It gives us the illusion of control, when in fact it's what gets us into our worst messes. Can we "learn" to release it...or does it just happen ****poof****? Or, like everything else in sobriety, is it just slow and steady. It takes "effort" to "stay in the present", when it is, in reality, the only place we can ever be. Ah, that elusive dawning of awareness. I like C.S Lewis' statement (paraphrased): We are not a body with a soul, but rather a soul with a body. This perspective helps me put my "mind" into it's proper place. But, for me, it is very much an uphill battle.
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Old 04-25-2010, 10:00 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Dee74

Mostly I was scared - scared I'd drink again, and equally scared at the idea I wouldn't...

7 days into my first 30, this is exactly how I feel.
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