First time here. 42 days clean. Question for you guys

Old 04-16-2010, 04:35 PM
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Astoria OR
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First time here. 42 days clean. Question for you guys

I found myself sitting at my computer before my NA meeting wondering if I could find any ways to be in contact with others like me! Here I am! 42 days clean and sober.
I am greatful to find this place! There is alot of hope and experience here and thats just what I need! Like they say you have to learn to live life on lifes terms and I am not having such a great time with that. I am dealing with my fiance's family assuming I will never be anything but a practising addict. It frusterates me so much. Ive never wanted this more and for people to damn me before I barely get out of the gate is hard on me.
I attend out patient treatment as well as meetings and do all I can for my sobriety. It frusterates me so bad. His mother screamed at me DRUGGY and proceeded to rip my heart out of my chest by asking me why I wanted to ruin her sons life and she wishes hed leave me. We have a 18month old son together and are very much in love. He is supportive and loving to me and we are working through this together.... its just hard. I am so much more than an addict. In early recovery it can sometimes feel like that is all I am though. I know it will get better. I know that time will prove to them that I am serious. Its just waiting for that im having a hard time with!
Has anyone else had to go through this? If so, what did you do to give yourself a little peice of mind through it?

Last edited by BrandyLyn27; 04-16-2010 at 04:36 PM. Reason: diff title
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Old 04-16-2010, 04:42 PM
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
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I haven't been in a similar situation but want to welcome you to SR! I hope we can help you with support and information.

Do check out the substance abuse forum. Lots of good info and advice there from those who know what you're going thru.
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Old 04-16-2010, 04:49 PM
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Hi Brandy,

I know how frustrating it can be in early recovery, when you're trying really hard, and you want people to 'get it'. The thing is, it takes time and patience. You need to show people by your actions, that you are changing. That's all you can do. Focus on your recovery and your child and things will work out for you. We do understand!
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Old 04-16-2010, 05:13 PM
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Location: NY
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Hi Brandy and welcome to SR. I agree that you have to "try" to focus on your recovery and just put a wall between you and that negative energy. Whether your Mother in Law comes around will be her problem.

Put her out of your mind and concentrate on yourself and your recovery. She will see the change. I do know about the mother in law and daughter in law relationship, but won't bore you with my story. You are the important person here. Your son is important too and then of course, your husband.

You can do it sweetie. We are here for you and we DO understand!
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Old 04-16-2010, 05:15 PM
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Welcome Brandy!

My DOC was alcohol but like any addiction, it caused me to hurt people that I love and care about. Earning that trust back does take time, but more importantly, as Anna said, it's earned more through our actions - time just accumulates by default the longer we continue to live each day in recovery.

Good for you in making the decision to take your life back and being active in developing a program that can help you to be happy with yourself - that, in turn, will make you a better mother, gf, friend, etc. - because you're right - we are all so much more than a label.
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Old 04-16-2010, 05:27 PM
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
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hi again Brandy

I was an alcoholic too, but I destroyed a few things before I quit.

I think sometimes people just don't understand, or maybe they're scared - and sometimes I guess people are just unfair.

The best thing you can do is remember your partner loves you and that you're doing the right things now to the very best of your ability. Noone can ask more than that.

Stay focused on your recovery and give it time - if people are any good, I reckon they'll come to notice the changes in you and appreciate them

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