White knuckling it today...Help
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Manchester, NH
Posts: 39
White knuckling it today...Help
Hi all today is 65 days sober. Early this morning I flew into Philadelphia and am now in a hotel for 2 weeks going to training for a new job. The compulsion to drink is so strong right now. My wife isn't around and no one will know except me. I'm really white knuckling it. I've known for a month about this and Ive been very worried. I am sitting in the room reading the big book ( on page 53) and biting my fingers. If anyone has words of wisdom I'll take 'em. If anyone is on Skype and has something to share PM me your name.
Glad you posted. Is there a meeting that you can get to today at some point? In the meantime--keep posting here. You don't have to drink. You are not alone. You can also call Intergroup and speak to someone if you need to. Hang in there!
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Manchester, NH
Posts: 39
I havent been to an AA meeting at all yet. I wouldnt want to start going to them 500 miles from home but I hear ya. Ive been reading the boards here and hangin in. I'm gonna go for a walk around the huge mall across the road and clear my head.
Southeastern Pennsylvania Intergroup Association 215-923-7900 Not sure where you are exactly--but hopefully this will help.
Your just bored and newly sober.
The urge to drink comes frequently when we aren't drinking. Don't listen to these voices.
Go see a movie, walk around the mall, buy something to eat, check out the bookstore, call home, take a shower, etc.
You can do this, just do not drink.
Once you drink, you know it will not be 1, then the shame and guilt comes later.
This is a test, you can win, the brain knew about this trip in advance and was just waiting 4 the right time to taut you.
Stay strong, keep posting till this passes and it will. Just old behavior that needs rewiring.
The urge to drink comes frequently when we aren't drinking. Don't listen to these voices.
Go see a movie, walk around the mall, buy something to eat, check out the bookstore, call home, take a shower, etc.
You can do this, just do not drink.
Once you drink, you know it will not be 1, then the shame and guilt comes later.
This is a test, you can win, the brain knew about this trip in advance and was just waiting 4 the right time to taut you.
Stay strong, keep posting till this passes and it will. Just old behavior that needs rewiring.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: South Dakota, USA
Posts: 1,429
May be a great place to start going to meetings. Noone there will know you, and you don't have to worry about that. Just a thought. May be perfect! Otherwise, just stay strong. I know it is hard. I am only 4 months sober. It does get easier. But I promise you, you will be MUCH happier tomorrow for having NOT drank, than if you did drink. I don't care if you have to sit on your hands the entire night, just don't pick up that first drink! You can do this, and know all of us on SR are rooting for you.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 1,591
Hey Bel, you can get through it. You're starting something new, why not ride that excitement as yourself for a while? You don't have to have these fears. There's no comfort for you on the other side of them, so don't listen to the thoughts.
and no one will know except me.
Yep, good point, the most important person responsible for your recovery will know.
I would highly recommend finding a meeting if you're going to be there for a few weeks. What is the absolute worst thing that can happen if you go to one? You might not like it and you can get up and leave, no problem.
On the other hand you might like it ( I did) and find it to be one of the most welcoming places you've ever been ( I did) and then you might realize that you don't have to do this alone ( I did).
Best of Luck to you whatever you decide
I think Cantonian makes a great point about you being the only one who would know. It would be this gigantic secret, and something that might eat at you, that might make you want to drink that feeling away. You can do this. It's hard; it sucks - but you CAN do this!!
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
It's terrific that you will be training for a new job.
Of course....you want to be at your best for this opportunity.
...Best means clear headed ..smelling and looking good.
No way is drinking going to make that happen.
If you get stuck in a situation where people are drinking
you can order something non alcoholic. If questioned.....
"No thanks....I'm on a new health kick" usually works.
Hope you continue to move forward.....
Of course....you want to be at your best for this opportunity.
...Best means clear headed ..smelling and looking good.
No way is drinking going to make that happen.
If you get stuck in a situation where people are drinking
you can order something non alcoholic. If questioned.....
"No thanks....I'm on a new health kick" usually works.
Hope you continue to move forward.....
Now, I am quite happy. I don't want or need to drink. I feel good ... but I work at it every day. SR, AA, helping others, etc.
Going to a meeting out of town is just like going to one in town. Don't use "out of town" as your excuse.
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