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White knuckling it today...Help

Old 03-07-2010, 02:07 PM
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White knuckling it today...Help

Hi all today is 65 days sober. Early this morning I flew into Philadelphia and am now in a hotel for 2 weeks going to training for a new job. The compulsion to drink is so strong right now. My wife isn't around and no one will know except me. I'm really white knuckling it. I've known for a month about this and Ive been very worried. I am sitting in the room reading the big book ( on page 53) and biting my fingers. If anyone has words of wisdom I'll take 'em. If anyone is on Skype and has something to share PM me your name.
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Old 03-07-2010, 02:21 PM
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Glad you posted. Is there a meeting that you can get to today at some point? In the meantime--keep posting here. You don't have to drink. You are not alone. You can also call Intergroup and speak to someone if you need to. Hang in there!
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Old 03-07-2010, 02:25 PM
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I havent been to an AA meeting at all yet. I wouldnt want to start going to them 500 miles from home but I hear ya. Ive been reading the boards here and hangin in. I'm gonna go for a walk around the huge mall across the road and clear my head.
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Old 03-07-2010, 02:26 PM
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Southeastern Pennsylvania Intergroup Association 215-923-7900 Not sure where you are exactly--but hopefully this will help.
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Old 03-07-2010, 03:01 PM
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Originally Posted by Beligerent View Post

... If anyone has words of wisdom I'll take 'em.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...e-relapse.html
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Old 03-07-2010, 03:07 PM
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Your just bored and newly sober.
The urge to drink comes frequently when we aren't drinking. Don't listen to these voices.
Go see a movie, walk around the mall, buy something to eat, check out the bookstore, call home, take a shower, etc.
You can do this, just do not drink.
Once you drink, you know it will not be 1, then the shame and guilt comes later.
This is a test, you can win, the brain knew about this trip in advance and was just waiting 4 the right time to taut you.
Stay strong, keep posting till this passes and it will. Just old behavior that needs rewiring.
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Old 03-07-2010, 04:13 PM
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Good idea to go for a walk. That's a great way to get out of your room and hopefully change your perspective.
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Old 03-07-2010, 04:18 PM
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May be a great place to start going to meetings. Noone there will know you, and you don't have to worry about that. Just a thought. May be perfect! Otherwise, just stay strong. I know it is hard. I am only 4 months sober. It does get easier. But I promise you, you will be MUCH happier tomorrow for having NOT drank, than if you did drink. I don't care if you have to sit on your hands the entire night, just don't pick up that first drink! You can do this, and know all of us on SR are rooting for you.
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Old 03-07-2010, 04:24 PM
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Hey Bel, you can get through it. You're starting something new, why not ride that excitement as yourself for a while? You don't have to have these fears. There's no comfort for you on the other side of them, so don't listen to the thoughts.
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Old 03-07-2010, 04:28 PM
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Im still Okay.. Walked thru the mall... still havent drank... I'll be fine
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Old 03-07-2010, 04:32 PM
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Way to go.
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Old 03-07-2010, 04:36 PM
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Good job, you won.
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Old 03-07-2010, 05:32 PM
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Hang in there! Myself, I always look forward to tomorrow morning and waking up sober. That thought has helped me tremendously! Good luck on your trip: you can do it!
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Old 03-07-2010, 05:50 PM
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Beligerent, if you want to, tell us how tomorrow went. Anything stressful, anything goofy that happened during the training; whatever.
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Old 03-07-2010, 06:17 PM
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Originally Posted by Beligerent View Post
Im still Okay.. Walked thru the mall... still havent drank... I'll be fine
don't laugh,...give it a try,....if you have a craving eat a chocolate bar or have a Pepsi,.......

And I think you should being going to meetings,....they are world-wide.
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Old 03-07-2010, 07:20 PM
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and no one will know except me.

Yep, good point, the most important person responsible for your recovery will know.
I would highly recommend finding a meeting if you're going to be there for a few weeks. What is the absolute worst thing that can happen if you go to one? You might not like it and you can get up and leave, no problem.
On the other hand you might like it ( I did) and find it to be one of the most welcoming places you've ever been ( I did) and then you might realize that you don't have to do this alone ( I did).
Best of Luck to you whatever you decide
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Old 03-07-2010, 07:43 PM
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I think Cantonian makes a great point about you being the only one who would know. It would be this gigantic secret, and something that might eat at you, that might make you want to drink that feeling away. You can do this. It's hard; it sucks - but you CAN do this!!
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Old 03-07-2010, 08:34 PM
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It's terrific that you will be training for a new job.
Of course....you want to be at your best for this opportunity.

...Best means clear headed ..smelling and looking good.
No way is drinking going to make that happen.

If you get stuck in a situation where people are drinking
you can order something non alcoholic. If questioned.....
"No thanks....I'm on a new health kick" usually works.

Hope you continue to move forward.....
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Old 03-07-2010, 08:41 PM
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Welcome to SR. Glad you are here.
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Old 03-07-2010, 09:36 PM
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Originally Posted by Beligerent View Post
I havent been to an AA meeting at all yet. I wouldnt want to start going to them 500 miles from home.
Why not? When I wasn't actively working on my recovery, I felt as you did.

Now, I am quite happy. I don't want or need to drink. I feel good ... but I work at it every day. SR, AA, helping others, etc.

Going to a meeting out of town is just like going to one in town. Don't use "out of town" as your excuse.
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