Old 03-03-2010, 07:09 PM
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I'm 21. I became an alcoholic in summer of 2009. Within 3 months I got my 2nd DUI, went though months of counseling and court dates and tens of thousands of dollars in medical bills and fines. Got dumped, was confined to a home breathalyzer for 3 months straight while waiting for my final court date. So I was sober for 3-4 months. After that I slipped every once in a while but it wasn't full blown getting trashed every night like before. Was sober from Jan to mid-Feb this year and have slid since then. The past 10 days it's been binge drinking every night alone. I have even been drinking Listerine at times.

During a mishap at my new job (thankfully no one knew it was because I was drunk), I am so fed up. I've gained weight, my face is swollen from being dehydrated and I'm generally miserable. So, I forced myself not to drink but about 30 hours later I had crazy shakes and muscle spasms and I couldn't go to work that way as a waitress. And when I looked up horror stories on detox I've been trying to only drink a little every 4-5 hours just to get my body being used to less alcohol in my body. Because of my very high tolerance it's not enough to even get me buzzed but it stops the shakes. I've heard this works but the willpower to do it is what I've heard is nearly impossible.

I actually am disgusted by alcohol right now. I just think of it and want to puke but it's the only way not to feel completely sick when I start to detox. I just want to be able to get through the day without my body needing it. A lot of times when my boyfriend is at work I try to sleep through the worst of it and I feel a lot better, but it's difficult because the symptoms of withdrawal seem to come back at random times. More when I am not busy/productive and start to notice how awful I feel.

I'm going to get an assessment tomorrow. It is court ordered, and I'm glad but scared to go. I can't be put into inpatient because I just moved 100 miles away from home and just got a brand new job and started a new relationship when I was sober last fall.

I'm just hoping this works. I don't want my body to be dependent on alcohol.
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Old 03-03-2010, 07:20 PM
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Welcome Message. You may want to see a doctor, just to be safe, and be 100% honest about your drinking. It could mean your life.

As for inpatient...I can tell you from my experience, as long as I wasn't willing to go to any lengths, I wasn't getting sober.

Good luck to you, and keep coming back.
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Old 03-03-2010, 07:20 PM
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Hi and Welcome,

I'm glad you are here and seeking support.

I think that cutting back the way you are just prolongs the withdrawl symptoms. I really hope that you will talk to your dr and get a medically supervised detox. I tried cutting back too, and it's just too hard to maintain.

Please take a look around here and know that we do understand how difficult this is.
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Old 03-03-2010, 08:30 PM
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Welcome message
we really do understand and I hope you keep coming back here

Please tho - like Anna says, please do consider whatever they tell you in the assessment, and please get some medical help in detoxing.

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Old 03-03-2010, 08:50 PM
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Glad you found us.....Welcome to our recovery community
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Old 03-04-2010, 06:09 AM
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A medically supervised detox will keep you safe and make you more comfortable during the process. After the alcohol is out of your system, do you have a plan for staying sober? AA? Or any other program? Counseling? I hope you can maintain your sobriety once you're detoxed. Living sober is the way to go!

Welcome to SR! I'm glad you're here!
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Old 03-04-2010, 01:57 PM
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Old 03-04-2010, 06:11 PM
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Hey guys, thanks for the welcome.

So yesterday when I made this post I drank only about 3-4 shots of 21% alcohol... (throughout the day) and drank water non stop all day. Took some vitamins, etc. last week it was 10-15 shots in a day. I woke up without any withdrawal symptoms and went to my assessment. So far the day has been brighter and clearer, probably because I don't have a substance in my body that increases depression, heh. I had to go to my assessment at 5am!! But everyone was really friendly as we all waited for our assessments, talked openly about what happened to us. Although I kind of had the worst circumstances. No one could beat my 3.1 blood alcohol level when I got arrested the 2nd time. >.< Not proud of it but I'm not going to ignore it happened and lie about it.

I know I'll get outpatient treatment. I just don't know how I'm going to do in these meetings. Group Therapy? I only have about 6 months of alcoholism under my belt and it seems most of these people have/had been drinking for many years. I feel like I won't have anything to say, and it's a 6 week program 9 hours a week! Gah.
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Old 03-04-2010, 06:19 PM
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I`m glad you`re doing so well!
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