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Looking for a sponsor

Old 02-27-2010, 11:08 AM
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Looking For Myself...Sober
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Looking for a sponsor

I know I have asked this before. I know there has been topics too.
But I need to ask again.

I am ready to move on to phase 2 in the house.
In order to do that, I need at least a temp sponsor.
Its hard to find good NA meetings, let alone NA with women and even more so with women who have good clean time.
I dont want a sponsor that has a couple years and hasnt even done the steps themselves.
Which seems to be the norm around here. Alot of the women are doing like a step a year it seems like.

I have one lady in mind, She chairs a Wed NA and she has 18 yrs. I know she will be the no nonsense type of sponsor I need. But i have only seen her twice and never spoken to her. And her meeting I believe is the only NA that has a potential sponsor list.
She was recommended to me by a house peer too.
I like her time, Her attitude and just I can tell by listenign to her and watching how she carry herslef.
She is the one for me..I think.

But how do I ask? I need one soon so I can get working on the steps. I have been here 2 mos and havent really done anything as far as that goes.
I feel like I am stalking this lady..LOL and about to ask her to marry me.
This is really nerve racking asking someone to be your sponsor.

So like whats the deal?
Do I have to know her to ask her? Should I talk to her for awhile?
Is talking to her a couple times and telling her I like her program and want her to be my sponsor or temp?
Is there like some protocol for time knowing this person or talking to them first?

I really want to ask her next week. But I havent even spoken to her one time. We have exchanged smiles and stuff.
Goodness, I really feel like some kid in school about to go on a date or something.
Anwyay. Need some insight. Thx
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Old 02-27-2010, 03:41 PM
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I think you just...ask...LOL
but I'm no expert - bumping this up for ya

D
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Old 02-27-2010, 04:39 PM
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Great you found someone Trish and she has all the values you want. How do you ask? No nonesense, simply walk up shake her hand, say hi and ask her if she will be your sponsor. Thats it, thats how you doi it!

Kevin
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Old 02-27-2010, 07:07 PM
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trish out on this one,

and say, heyyyyyyyyyyy laaaaaaaaaady, your going to be my sponsor! lol
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Old 02-27-2010, 07:27 PM
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really trish,

this is the time to open the mouth,

just simply ask.

if she says no, thats ok too, as she may have reasons, and you will find another one to sponsor you.

just keep moving foward lady!
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Old 02-27-2010, 07:28 PM
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Mrs

I have ask for and AA sponsor and basially told no. I have mentioned to some other ladies in aa and no- seems interested. I'm still looking too.
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Old 02-27-2010, 07:48 PM
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I walked up to mine and had a bit of a chat and then said, i would really like it if you could be my sponsor, what do you think?
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Old 02-27-2010, 07:55 PM
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If you find a person you really think would be a good sponsor you merely walk up and ask them. If they say no, then they have their reasons. And maybe they're doing you a favor but you just don't know it yet. So you keep looking and keep asking. A lot of it depends on how many different meeting you attend. The more meetings, the larger the pool of people you can ask. The important thing is to get a sponsor and not quitting because a few people won't take you on.
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Old 02-27-2010, 07:56 PM
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everything is already ok
 
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Originally Posted by tribal1969 View Post
I have ask for and AA sponsor and basially told no. I have mentioned to some other ladies in aa and no- seems interested. I'm still looking too.
Keep Asking, in Australia most groups offer temporary sponsorship from group members with some time up. go around the meetings and pick one you admire because they have what your looking for.
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Old 02-27-2010, 10:04 PM
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Just ask her. The first lady I asked said no because she had so many meetings to speak at and a lot of sponcees already. The second lady I asked, I asked if she could, at least, be my temporary sponsor and she became my "regular" sponsor soon after. I was her first sponcee. It is kind of intimidating your first time. I did feel like a stalker, but once I got the first one out of the way, it got easier and actually I got excited.
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Old 02-27-2010, 10:43 PM
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Maybe try to talk to her a bit after a meeting. Then just ask her. The important thing is that if she says "no" for any reason, that you don't view it as a personal setback. Sometimes people have "too many" sponsees and they don't feel like they can take on someone else. If this happens, ask her for a recomendation of someone else you can talk to. I know it takes a lot of courage to ask someone. (courage I never had!!) Just make sure you allow this to be a positive thing no matter what happens. You are doing great. I've followed your posts for some time and it is wonderful to see your progress. Just keep moving forward. Take care.
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Old 02-27-2010, 11:05 PM
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Hi Trish.

I just up and asked... it was the lady who had come to drive me to the first meeting when I called. After I'd known her for a day... I was drunk when I met her, and the second time she came to get me, I was somewhat more sober, and I knew it was now or never, I'd never get the nerve or find the right one if I sat and thought it through. So...

Now that I've been talking to her and others about it, it turns out to be as good a way to get a sponsor as any other... they know you're new, they know you don't have all the answers...

Take care,
TB
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Old 02-28-2010, 01:55 AM
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In most AA meetings there will be a part of the meeting protocal when they ask anyone who is available to sponsor to raise their hand. It's not done in all meetings, but most. If it is not done in NA meetings, you could ask that it be included as a meeting tradition. It's a very good one and you can see from the raised hands who is prepared to sponsor.

Or, you can go the route everyone else is suggesting.
Just ask!
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Old 02-28-2010, 07:01 AM
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Thumbs up

Originally Posted by Aysha View Post
So like whats the deal?
Do I have to know her to ask her? Should I talk to her for awhile?
Is talking to her a couple times and telling her I like her program and want her to be my sponsor or temp?
Is there like some protocol for time knowing this person or talking to them first?
Sure, just ask to speak with her in a place of some privacy, and let her know that you're looking for a sponsor to continue your recovery journey. Just like that. Yeah, tell her you like her program and how she does what she does. No need to walk around it all sensitive or anything. There is no protocol and no requirement to get to know each other or whatever prior to asking.

Be ready to have her resources already at capacity perhaps, and if so ask if she knows anybody who may also be suitable, since you were asking her for help anyways.

Great to see you walking your journey, ((((Trish)))). I always knew you would!

Rob
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Old 02-28-2010, 10:11 AM
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One of my peers in the house knows her. Her husband use to be his sponsor but he passed not too long ago.
I haved a couple I could ask. But I feel weird.
This week is my week to share at a meeting. I will have no choice because I am chairing my first meeting tomorrow night.
The one that my coffee commitment is at the house, But alot of outside people come too. I am, really nervous.
I am going to ask for at least a temp sometime this week too.
Hopefully I come back with good news next weekend.
Thx again everyone.
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Old 02-28-2010, 10:36 AM
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Chairing your first meeting tomorrow.....WOW! Way to go!

Also, yes--just ask her if she would be willing to sponsor you. It's that simple. Let her know that you like what she shares when she speaks and that you want want she has. If she is unable to--for whatever reason--I'm sure she may have some other numbers of ladies that might be able to help.

Again--Brother I am sooooooooo proud of you!
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Old 02-28-2010, 12:03 PM
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Trish, it was suggested that I not say "I want you to be my sponsor, but to ask "Will you please be my sponsor, I want the kind of recovery your have." If she is the right one, it will happen.

Congrats on chairing the meeting, that is huge. Its normal to feel nervous, just breathe in faith and breathe out fear. Pray for direction and guidance before you begin.
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Old 02-28-2010, 01:35 PM
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Good luck with the meeting Trish


D
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Old 02-28-2010, 04:53 PM
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And to add to what the others said on just walking up and asking her.......... if for some reason she is already loaded up with other sponsees, ask her who she think would be a good sponsor. Usually people who are great sponsors know others who are as well.

Good luck Girl!!! and on the meeting too.
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