Tazman53

I know for a fact that for this alcoholic the answer to that question is NO!!!!

I tried far MANY years and for me when I control my drinking I become miserable..... I always want more after that first one, oh do not get me wrong, there were times years ago where I could FORCE myself to stop after one, but it was a living hell when I did mentally!

I have found life to be so much easier to do one of 2 things.

1. Never have that first drink and live life to its fullest!

2. Drink and continue to do so until death.

My record of drinking has proven this over & over again. I choose to keep picking door #1!

I love life sober!

Normal people do not control thier drinking. They do not even think about controling it.

ElegantlyWasted

To bluntly answer your question we need to adhere to strict definitions used in the context of addiction. An alcoholic can not pick up again or bad things will happen, poor decisions, downward spiral, skid row etc. If you feel up to try drinking again and see what happens. If you successfully moderate the thinking is you were never an alcholic, simply a problem drinker. There does seem to be a line that gets crossed, a point of no return, where one has used so much for so long that they should never return to the bottle. There is also the arguement that people are alcoholics before they even pick up a bottle; which makes sense to me. We all have different genetic and social vulnerabilities ant the hard part is to figure what really applies/works for you. Given an addicts predisposition for black/white thinking this can be an onerous task; one which I have struggled with. At six and a half months dry, I try to keep it simple. I know that when I drink bad things happen, I'm hypersensitive to my actions and the actions of others, and my ability to plan for anything more than a day or two away is non existant. I would love to drink red wind with food again, but I know now is not the time to even think about
it. Best of luck and great post.

seeker414

I'm at home "sick" today due to trying to drink in moderation which ended very predictably with two days of blackness and a real threat to my marriage and career.

I can't speak to what others can do, but I can't keep alcohol out of the driver's seat without keeping it off my property.

Honestyiskey

Dear DRI.

I caution that this is definitely not recommended for everyone and my answer to your question is...depends (and not the undergarments).

To get quickly to the question IN MY CASE and I emphasize this because 'choice' is an individual thing.

After 29 years without a drop 'intentionally' crossing my lips (I've accidentally been given one or two mixed drinks in error by restaurant staffs but my intention was not to drink), I decided to have a beer whilst on vacation.

I know this will set of a firestorm of commentary but my purpose for posting IS NOT to say everyone can drink in moderation ALTHOUGH there might be a great probability that one can depending on the circumstances.

I started drinking in my teens like many. I was intensly shy which could be defined as psychotically shy and if anyone has ever suffered from this it is a living hell. Making a long story short, my drinking progressed over a number of years until I was 36 when my only hope to prevent suicide was the last stop AA and I will forever be gratefull to the fellowship and the many friends I have made over these past 29 years.

I will make some definite points here.

1) I was never able to grasp the concept of 'God' as the higher power instead I found both the God within and the fellowship of AA as my 'hgher power'.

2) I was able to toss out all the internal rot onto the tables in AA and did all the non religious steps to the best of my ability. I never 'turned it over' because I simply did not know how. It wasn't arrogance which prevented me. I have always been terribly suspicious of religion and the power man can wield over others. I digress.

3) over the years I became 'stale' listening to myself and other friends go over and over the 12 steps and aspects of their lives. I think the failing (if it could be classed as such a thing) of AA is that it creates a permanent state of recovery and reinforces this adage by endless repetition by saying "My name is Honestyiskey and I am an alcoholic".
To me in my mind this told me I could never go that final step and shuck the bonds of this condition. In order for me to fully recover I had to accept that I could walk alone emotionally retooled and no longer the person I was when I walked into AA.
I hope I am getting this point across to all who read this. I have the greatest respect and admiration for the fellowship of AA and there is no greater vehicle to getting your life back in order but once that's done then what and that's what I arrived at.

I will continue fleshing out aspects of this commentary over time but I will not respond to criticisms nor defend what I am doing. It is offered solely as my perspective and again I reiterate to all do not follow my lead unless you are absolutely...ABSOLUTELY sure this is for you. But I know there are/MUST be others out there who are exactly the same as me and because I have always shared my intimacies I submit this offering.

To the drinking!

I had no more than three beers in four episodes over two weeks. The effect was I got a mellow feeling and I was perfectly satisfied with that state. I once heard Clancy say at a conference that a friend of his said 'no more for me...I'm starting to feel it' and Clancy replied 'That's when it gets good ahole'. Well today I feel like that social drinker. That mellow glow is enough for me. Sure I could go further but I have NO DESIRE to do so and lose control or better 'lack control'. I NEVER intend to drink hard liquor and have had a glass of wine on two occasions...one at dinner (where I didn't finish it all) and another on the plane and it lasted over an hour. I don't really like wine anymore but enjoy the taste of a good beer.
Deep inside there is no fear I will EVER go back to alcoholic drinking and have no desire to seek oblivion as I did during my heavy drinking days. I haven't had a drink now in over 3 weeks and no desire to have one. I am not fighting the urge to drink. I know that it is there and when I want a pint at the appropriate time I shall have one or two at the most three over a number of hours.

I will absolutely promise to keep this board informed of my circumstances and although I firmly believe I will not return to alcoholic drinking, should that ever happen then this board (after my home group) will be the first to be notified and the traditionalists will have confirmed their suspicions that there is no safe drinking.

NewBeginning010

I know I cant drink "one" drink (finally ;-). Try doing some other things outside of bars/parties etc.

I found this (link below) a great place to meet people doing active things in my area. I have joined a tennis group, hiking group & mountain biking group so far. A much better way to get to know someone in an environment that is free from alcohol & conducive to conversation and getting to know people.

Do something, Learn something, Share something, Change something - Meetup.com

Good luck!

NB

Houndheart

Well, Dri, not sure if you are still reading this thread...but judging by the amount of posts, this is a hugely popular topic. One that everyone that is alcoholic has thought about. And one that everyone that is alcoholic learns from. I know that it has helped me to realize that a relapse for those of us with alcoholism (like myself) begins in the contemplation of this question that you have posed. So, it has reminded me that I have to be very aware if and when the contemplation of ever being able to drinking "normally" comes to mind. Once I am aware of this, I need to go back to remembering that I have no control over it once I start. The only control I have is to not start. Once I start, alcohol wins over my power and control.

I thank you for posing this question to the forum. I am sure it has helped to reinforce in many of us our resolve and realization that the only way to drink normally is to not pick up booze. Then we instead drink water normally, soda normally, ice tea normally, etc. and so on. :-)

You said you won't be posting here anymore...but if you change your mind....come on back. And if Dri is not coming back here...then I write this for myself and for all of you who are on here.

This is probably one of the most popular topics on the planet in this realm. And it is good to hear my colleagues thoughts about it. Thanks everyone.

shaun00

well heres my experience...
every attempt at social/moderate drinking failed....for 25 years..

i have been sober for ten years this year and i have never ever heard anyone say....."ive returned to drinking and it was fantastic"

most end up in a worse state than before...
some continued till death..
a few hanged themselves..
and a couple are still in jail......
one is in a secure mental health facility.

that is my experience of alcoholics trying the old game again.

Dee74

Put me down for 20 years of constant trying, too.
That's enough raw data for me.

My life now, without booze, is the life I used to dream of - if it ain't broke....?
D

fragrantrose

this thread is a great reminder to me of how CUNNING alcohol is. I started having this thinking this a.m and needed to read again all these posts.
A reminder for me that NOTHING is worth putting in front of my sobriety NO person, event, or situation...just have to remove myself from any temptations, go back to step 1 and think how unmanageable my life became with etoh in my system.
Alcohol is cunning to me as when I feel better I think that I can drink again socially!
"JUST SAY NO" FOR THIS ALCOHOLIC JULIA!

I really have to adress my people pleasing issues...I have often started drinking just to fit in and then the others stop and I am on the downward spiral.

Hevyn

The longest I went without alcohol was 3 yrs. in the late 90's. I was on a date for the first time in ages & a glass of wine was put in front of me. (I hadn't made the announcement that I didn't drink.) Despite my determination to control it, that one glass of wine turned into 7 yrs. of chaos, destruction, and pure hell.

People who find themselves able to control it after having it destroy their lives, are in the vast minority. It is far too dangerous an idea for most of us to even consider. Yes, there may be a few times of having success in controlling it - but the risk of ending up right back where we were is huge. We don't start all over fresh - we are damaged - and the damage will resume. If we keep playing with it, it will burn us again. This time we may not make it out alive.

(Another great discussion - thank you everyone)

Toronto68

Well, I looked at Honesty's post and that was interesting. I guess the reason I would not be able to be a normal drinker again without negative consequences is that I know that I never had any use for it other than to get more than a glow. After a couple of years of experience with it, I "learned" that it wasn't worth having 1 if it didn't mean at least X (whatever X means, in order to get a buzz going if not worse). That's because of the kind of drinker I would be, an addict. I agree that the ancients started some good discoveries with it as far as cuisine goes. But that's just not good enough a reason to include it again (I forgot most of the "dining with alcohol" knowledge I learned a long time ago, ha ha). Going back for most people who have had to stop would be disastrous, I think. So I am assuming I would be another one, at least another unhappy one.

Finallyfree38

No, not ever. I told myself I could 'taper it down' and be o.k. I have an alcoholic trait on my dads side of the family. I didn't drink until my late 20's. I never experimented with it or anything until I married a man who did. From day 1 it was fights, blackouts, uncontrolled episodes of nightmares of torture from alcohol. One day I moved away from the family and friends who encouraged drinking and partying. I still drank, but I began to find God again and realized that He wants so much more for my life. It wasn't an overnight process, but I slowly put the drink down. I would binge for days and days at a time, especially on the weekends. Then I would spend Monday and Tuesday at work feelihng guilt, shame, not to mention anxiety and the overall 'pits'. When I stopped drinking, it felt Good. I was sober for 9 months. My family came to visit and I thought I could drink 'socially' with them and have a good time. They drank, did thier normal thing, and went home. The next day I was searching for money to buy a bottle of wine to 'get over the hum'..bull crap. I wanted to keep drinking and keep drinking and keep drinking. But what helped is that I am now stronger than I was before I stopped a year ago. I knew I had to go to work, and I was reminded of the awful torture of trying to make it through the day hungry, but too sick to eat, barely able to write or talk..and I knew then that I could not drink ..ever, not socially, not at all. I think we fool ourselves and test ourselves because we want to be normal. There is nothing normal about drinking to the point that you only stop when you can no longer stand up or stay awake. I don't want my 4 year old child to wake up one morning and find me dead because I overdid it. I don't want to lose my job for calling in 2 days in a row because Im too sick to get up and the only thing that will make me feel better is a drink...so I stay in bed and drink more. I don't want a DUI on my record. Two people in my family have already had them. I don't know why God is sparing me..because none of this stuf has come close to happening...at least Not yet....but I know that I will pay harshly if I continue to drink. I don't know why people want to keep drinking knowing that it causes problems for them. Wait, yes I do, it's the insanity of alcoholism. It convinces you that youre okay while its killing you. And you wake up one day and your life is in shambles..over a glass or two of wine that ended up being a three day binge. No thanks. I start over today. October 8, 2012. After 20 years of drinking off an on..the last 5 or so being traumatic and revealing of how serious alcoholism is...I declare that I am not putting that garbage in my body ever again. Don't drink. If it caused you problems then, it will continue to. It doesn't go away because you stop for a while. It rearms itself and comes back stronger. I don' t go to AA, but I'm active in my church and I reach out to my higher power. He is going to help me through this. I will overcome this monster. You can too. Good luck

MarkTwain

Once you cross the line and the change in your body happens, in other words your system is overwhelmed on a molecular level by alcohol, you become physically unable to drink in moderation.
The fact that you are asking about controlled drinking suggests that you haven't understood or accepted that drinking cannot be controlled, especially by personal rules and regulations ("I'll drink only at social occasions!).

Anna

Just fyi, this is a very old thread.