Shifty

I went out for dinner with a group of friends the other night, none of them are huge drinkers but they were all drinking. I was on the hard stuff - Tonic water and lime

My friends all asked why I wasn't drinking which I expected. The reason I gave was that I was trying to lose a bit of weight, which isn't a lie but also isn't the main reason either. They were fine with this and it wasn't spoke about again but it got me thinking about when I will get to the point of saying "I don't drink". I guess with only a month of sobriety so far it's still early days. I wonder if not wanting to say those words has anything to do with being unsure as to whether I will drink again deep down? Or perhaps I just don't feel ready to give an explanation yet, I don't know.

Just wondering what your experiences are with this?

CarolD

Well...
I told my drinking friends I was attending AA
and had decided to be sober.

Well done on your early sobriety.....

Zencat

When press to expound further on why "I don't drink"...I say its because of health reasons. Yes I have this condition that when I drink...I break out in handcuffs .

shaun00

Most pals and people who knew me knew why i wasnt drinking.

rarely these days, when i say i dont drink do people looked shocked
lots of people dont drink......dont mean theyve had a drinking problem.

its when i get up to go outside for a cigarette people looked shocked....lol.

yeahgr8

I didn't have any friends left to tell when i got into AA...yep over the years did the same thing as you, would make excuses etc...i think we have all done that at one time or another:-)

Kind of reminds me of going out with a girl that you really want to be with and that your friends don't like much and bs'ing to them that you don't really like her and are only doing it for the sex and then expecting the relationship to turn out great?! Thats just my thoughts though...

intention

You don't have to tell them you are an alcoholic but you could say that you have just quit for good because you feel better/health reasons/etc.....you don't have to elaborate.

If you can't say "I don't drink anymore", then maybe you do need to look at why you can't. Are you trying to leave the door open so you can drink in their company again?

Tazman53

It could be one of them or both! Find some place quiet and honestly ponder this.

Like yeahgr8 I had no REAL friends left, lots of family though...... funny thing, none of them were shocked or questioned my stopping, they all smiled and supported me.

Do you have any real friends? If so, then what would you do if they told you that they had quit drinking & you were still drinking?

What would you do if they told you that they had quit drinking because they were an alcoholic & you were still drinking?

What would you do if they told you that they were diabetic and were not going to eat a sugary dessert?

There is a HUGE difference between a "Drinking Buddy" & a "REAL friend"

Quit drinking and your "Drinking Buddy" will shortly dissappear.

Quit drinking and your "REAL friend" will support you in your decision.

Fubarcdn

I am a straight shooter so I just tell anyone who asks the truth. My honesty always got me in as much trouble as my drinking especially when I was drinking and was brutally honest if you know what I mean.

4ever

I just tell everyone that I don't drink. People who know me already know why. For the others I don't give any other explanation. I've finally gotten to the point that I really don't care what they think. If they ask why I just say because I don't and leave it at that.

ClosetExtrovert

I told my friends I was losing weight, too. How funny! None of them thought anything of it. If I'd said I wasn't drinking because I wanted to be sober, I had this feeling I would get an argument, so I leave it at that.
Good for you! Stay happy and inspired!

ViciousCycle

LOL......

Live within your own comfort zone. The way I look at it, you don't owe anyone an explanation.

Keep up the good work!

Shifty

I've had a good think about this, I don't think I'm leaving the door open so I can drink with them again. I think it's more a case of not wanting to lose face, I mean, if I did say that I had given up drinking for good and then further down the road I fell off the wagon, I'd feel quite embarrassed really. I have stopped for 6 months before and then I started drinking again, so I know that it has a way of sneaking up on you, although I do feel different this time. Drinking is slowly losing it's appeal which is great, and I'm a lot more intent than I have had previously. I guess I need more time under my belt before I can say "I don't drink" to the people I know, but just for the record here - I DON'T DRINK!

Anodyne

I shall so have to remember this one. It's a highly unpleasant condition.

postparty82

I've had this same question in my mind for the last few days and thank you for putting into words in such a direct-straight forward manner because I feel thats the truth. At one party, I told the truth to 2 friends, but didn't want to tell 2 of my other buddies who kept bothering me "where are your drinks, we have drank more than you so far dude, catch up, etc". One of those 2 drinking buddies I didn't tell is my brother-in-law so I will need to tell him next since he's family and I see him more often.

I really don't like getting into it, but I'm guessing honesty is the best medicine. After looking hard at my reasoning, I think lying for any reason is just leaving myself open for failure. I don't know.... I guess I just don't wanna be "news" to my friends.

Ceres

A friend of mine says the allergy thing. One guy actually asked her "So, what exactly is it that you're allergic to, the barley?"

coffeenut

In early sobriety, I didn't tell anyone anything because I surely didn't want anyone to know I had a drinking problem....Egads!

Now, I either say "I don't drink" or "I don't drink anymore". Noone ever asks me to expand on it...and if they did, I probably would. But....that took awhile. Take it easy, like VC said, stay in your comfort zone.

LovesToTravel

How about "I'm not drinking today". It really isn't anybody elses business why you aren't drinking today. You may decide not to drink tomorrow also. Just not today.

patman

Shifty,

FWIW, I'm in the same boat.They're good friends and I know they'll be supportive but I just haven't been able to tell them yet. I guess I'm afraid they'll feel I'm aboandoning them, as silly as that may sound. It's been 32 days already and when I'm not drinking on Super Bowl Sunday I know they're going to find that quite surprising. I guess a part of me just hopes it eventually becomes obvious without me ever actually having to say it. Realistically thought, it probably won't go down that way.

augustwest

For me, identifying myself as a non-drinker in these types of situations solidifies my view on what/who i am. Like when we introduce ourselves in meetings. I've found that few people really give a crap why i don't drink, and more seem to be impressed than inquisitive about why. Just my experience.