Tomorrow will be 5 weeks!

Old 02-02-2010, 04:00 AM
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Rochester, NY
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Tomorrow will be 5 weeks!

I planned on posting my 30 day milestone thread last week but things have been a bit too busy!

What used to keep me in my house in the evenings is gone. I now help coach my son's basketball team, taking my daughter to her father / daughter dance for girl scouts, take the family out to the movies in the evenings. The evening used to be the time of the day where I would want to have a few drinks and if there was an evening activity - it would stress me out and I couldn't wait to get home.

I wake up not feeling guilty now. I actually don't think about alcohol in the mornings at all. The late afternoon / early evening is still my trigger time and the thoughts are there then, but I have replaced it with a coffee or tonic with a lime.

I am happy with my progress thus far and hope it still gets easier. I compare this to quitting smoking or an intense relationship breakup - time heals.

I haven't put myself in position to be tempted much, but there are some of those events coming up like going on vacation with friends, playing cards with the boys, etc..

I think I can just decline a drink, but that will be a pattern my friends aren't used to. Dreading the questions. How did you handle this?
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Old 02-02-2010, 04:48 AM
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I think I can just decline a drink, but that will be a pattern my friends aren't used to. Dreading the questions. How did you handle this?
After having the obsession to drink lifted as a result of having a spiritual awakening very easily........ I just told the truth politely "No thanks, I quit drinking." If asked why I state that I am a recovering alcoholic and do not wish to return from where I came.

If you were a diabetic do you think real friends would pressure you to eat sugar cookies after you told them you were a diabetic?

I can tell you that friends and family who knew me when I was drinking are extremely supportive and even glad that I quit.

BTW Congrats on 5 weeks!!!
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Old 02-02-2010, 04:57 AM
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Join Date: Jan 2009
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Congratulations on your sober time betterdad.
The first month is the toughest or at least it was for me.
As far as the occasions were concerned I just tell everyone that I don't drink anymore. If a reason is asked I say I am tired of being hungover which is mostly the truth.
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Old 02-02-2010, 05:03 AM
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Congratulations! I was recently thinking about you and here you are!
5 weeks - how's amazing how very full our lives get when living in recovery.

Sounds like you handled the 'trigger' time of day very well with acknowledging the trigger and substituting it with other beverages.

As for being offered a drink: I've always been a proponent of informing those only "with a need to know" about my alcoholism. It just conjurs up too many potential issues.

My advice...keep it simple, be direct and don't leave any pause time for anyone to ask 'why.'

Here's a link that has some ideas on how to do what you've asking about.

How to Turn Down a Drink: 11 steps (with video) - wikiHow

You are truly living up to your forum name - I'm so happy for you. Take care.
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Old 02-02-2010, 05:15 AM
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I would use a simple "no thanks" and if they press you, just say you quit drinking cause it was bad for your health. I agree with Taz; true friends will not pressure you to do something that's bad for you. Stay true to yourself, and if you have to, stop hanging out with these friends.

Congrats on five weeks sober! Awesome!
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Old 02-02-2010, 12:43 PM
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Tell them you're on a new health kick and you're not drinking any more........

Congrats on your five weeks. That's awesome!!!!!
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Old 02-02-2010, 12:45 PM
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how did I handle not drinking early on?
I told everyone I was being AA sober
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Old 02-02-2010, 01:15 PM
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Congratulations on the 5 weeks, that's fantastic!

I just tell people that I quit drinking because it wasn't good for me. It's the truth plain and simple. Other than that, a need to know basis, with friends getting more story than strangers. Most people just accept and move on.
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Old 02-02-2010, 01:19 PM
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Hi Better Dad

Well done on the 5 weeks.
Like I said elsewhere - a simple no thanks or I'm not drinking/I don't drink is a reasonable response.

I dunno about you, but those who've known me after my recovery accept that without question - those who knew me before know why

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