Really feel like picking up tonight

Old 01-16-2010, 01:55 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Vancouver
Posts: 97
Really feel like picking up tonight

Well I've been sober for a year and 2 weeks and tonight is one of the closest times I've come to having a drink. I live 4 doors down from a pub (doh!) and went in to get my usual chocolate from the vending machine. While walking in I smelt the familiar smell of a pub and I had such a vivid flash of sitting in a pub (any pub) getting p*ssed! I just thought "oh man wouldn't it be nice just to sit here and forget about all the crap for one night?" and numb myself out. I had a particularly lonely day today so I know that's what it's about and I was emotional about something this morning. I also quit smoking 4 weeks ago (yay!) and am really just Jones'in!!! But it scares me that the feeling was so strong and sudden; that hasn't happened alot. Can anyone help?
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Old 01-16-2010, 02:06 AM
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Sikkisirus's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Wales, UK
Posts: 634
How about getting the chocolate from somewhere else? I mean if the pub is looking alluring. Wish you well
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Old 01-16-2010, 02:15 AM
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Dee74's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,697
Welcome back - over a year is great

Obviously you have some stresses right now - do you have anyone to talk to?
All drinking ever can be is a temporary respite, and that doesn't always work.

What else have you done with yourself besides not drinking?

It's true we want to drink because we're alcoholics, but it was very important for me to deal with the issues that factored into me taking up drink in the first place.

I knew unless I found new and better ways to deal with those issues, I was probably likely to repeat the mistakes of the past.

In the end, though, you didn't drink tonight and that's a great thing - but I'd still think about the reasons behind this sudden craving, NAP...

and...I'd buy my chocolate elsewhere in future,'s not like there's not a 24 hour convenience store on nearly every corner

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Old 01-16-2010, 02:49 AM
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Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 652
l can certainly imagine what it must have felt like.
That feeling can really hit you like a tidal wave...
But if you survived that you are strong enough to survive worse.
Endure and be proud of yourself.

I can't explain myself, I'm afraid, Sir, because I'm not myself you see.
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Old 01-16-2010, 03:56 AM
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Toronto, Ontario
Posts: 4,150
Congratulations on over a year Nap.
When I first quit I also used to get what I call the pull of the pub.
Mine is in my apartment basement so it is not far to go.
It was hard at first but I would stare down the place as if it was some kind of challenge. The alpha male against the temptress.
I would see the patrons at the bar, the ones I used to drink with and none of them looked particularly happy wasting their lives drowning their sorrows.
It became easier to move on in the knowledge that my life was better without that dragging me down.
I agree with the others on getting your chocolate elsewhere.
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Old 01-16-2010, 07:25 AM
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: La La Land, USA
Posts: 2,567
Congrats on the sober time! I would also second the suggestion about finding a new place that sells your chocolate bar I don't go into bars and haven't other than maybe 1 or 2 times since I got sober about a year and a half ago. I bet you can find other places than your pub to find some chocolate.. and heck if it's not as close or convenient, buy a couple at a time!
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