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What saved me

Old 01-15-2010, 09:16 AM
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What saved me

I have not been in SR for a long time and in that time and I have done okay and not so okay. I have tried to stop on my own many times, but everytime something stressful came along....that was my excuse to drink again. And everytime I drank again it got just a little worse. I used to read posts about AA all the time and thought "I don't need that, they are just a bunch of losers that have nothing better to do than go to a meeting every night." Well guess what???? I am one of those losers who is now a winner because of the AA program. I have met some of the nicest, warmest, smartest people I have ever met in those meetings. When I feel like I am the only person in the world who is dealing with this crap, guess what? There is a whole room of them sitting right there with me. Last night the topic was regret and forgiveness. The thing that is the hardest on me is the regret for what I have done to my kids and how will I ever come to terms with it and get their forgiveness. Well guess what? Every person that talked last night talked about the very same thing and how IF WE STAY SOBER, the feelings of regret will go away because we have to let it go and IF WE STAY SOBER our families will in time forgive us. What is better than that. So thanks AA for all your help!
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Old 01-15-2010, 09:18 AM
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Fabulous.
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Old 01-15-2010, 09:23 AM
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Fantastic post!!


Alcoholics?? - nicest people you could ever meet. It makes you wonder why we have such a bad reputation
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Old 01-15-2010, 09:31 AM
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Thank you for writing this message! I am a mother and the guilt I have felt eats me up some days. You are right, each day that goes by is as I call it an apology to everyone we have hurt because of the alcohol. Thank you
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Old 01-15-2010, 09:37 AM
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Its amazing the change I have already seen in my kids. The other day one of them wrote I luv u in the snow on my car. I cried the whole day. My other daughter made a comment on her facebook, "things are looking up". It just tears me apart that I could have done this to them but its the disease and we just have to give it the fight of our lives. They aren't scrutinizing me so close when I walk in the door to see if I have been drinking. They hang out in the kitchen with me when I make dinner. Life is so good.
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Old 01-15-2010, 09:41 AM
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I am very new here but I just wanted to say how lovely that is! X
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Old 01-15-2010, 09:56 AM
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Thats a great post and i'm really pleased for you:-)

We started a thing at our after meetings coffee where i got sober, if someone remarked he's a really nice guy/girl (in AA) a couple of us would just stare and eventually that person would say...NOW hehe
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Old 01-15-2010, 10:00 AM
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Wow, Eclipse, been a long time since we heard from you, but I'm so happy to hear this.
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Old 01-15-2010, 10:52 AM
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Originally Posted by Eclipse View Post
The thing that is the hardest on me is the regret for what I have done to my kids and how will I ever come to terms with it and get their forgiveness. Well guess what? Every person that talked last night talked about the very same thing and how IF WE STAY SOBER, the feelings of regret will go away because we have to let it go and IF WE STAY SOBER our families will in time forgive us. What is better than that.
Great message Eclipse, thank you for sharing and it's nice to see you again.

I struggled for so long with regret for the pain and hurt I'd caused my children, I felt like a failure as a father, ashamed that we were no longer a family because of my drinking. But I knew that I had to stay sober at all costs, and my children were always there with words and actions that reassured me that we loved each other.

Looking back I know that it's all been part of the journey, it's strengthened our relationship beyond my wildest dreams, and our love for each other is incredible. We're a new family now, I'm remarried, we share a life I never thought was possible. I owe that all to AA, the 12 Steps, and God. And for that I'm truly grateful!
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Old 01-15-2010, 11:05 AM
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Eclipse,

The guilt is very hard to deal with, but it will get better.

What I have found is that I had to accept, that of course, we can't go back and fix things that happened. All we can do is focus on moving forward with our recovery.
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Old 01-15-2010, 04:45 PM
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Welcome back Eclipse

D
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Old 01-15-2010, 04:57 PM
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Nice to see you again eclipse, it's great to hear you have chosen a program of recovery!
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Old 01-15-2010, 07:55 PM
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I'm so glad to hear from you, NW neighbor! And I'm so proud of how well you seem to be doing.

:ghug3
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Old 01-15-2010, 08:22 PM
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I'm so very pleased to know how well you are doing
Mega
Welcome back......
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Old 01-16-2010, 07:12 AM
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Hey C,

I love this message because it really lifted me up. It's so good to hear that you're doing better now and that the relationships with your kids are improving. Keep checkin' in.
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Old 01-16-2010, 08:29 AM
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Thanks for the posts. Its not to say this isn't a struggle and probably will be for a long time, but its getting easier. I have found that it is really hard to drink. All the planning involved is exhausting...which store do I go to this time, do I get a large bottle (I'll drink it all) or a small one (but end up going back for more), what do I do with the empty so my family won't find it, how do I get it into the house, where do I hide it, it was exhausting. Now I just go home...so much more simple. Plus I actually look forward to going to AA meetings. These people are my friends and they understand how I feel and they support me unconditionally, cuz they know exactly what I am going through and nod when I talk cuz they have been there done that! What a great feeling!
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