Notices

Stumbling...

Old 12-30-2009, 06:37 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Sober Date 12/21/09
Thread Starter
 
sunset2000's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Southern California
Posts: 83
Stumbling...

I have been sober for about a week and a half now. Even though I was drinking quite a bit everyday, I didn't have much of a problem with withdrawals or anything like that. As a matter of fact until today the whole thing felt a little TOO easy. SR has been my only support so far and after reading many posts and gaining strength and wisdom from SR the past nine days, I have been feeling uplifted, empowered, strong and hopeful.

Until today. One of my old patterns was that some days I would wake up and just not care. I would feel overwhelmed by financial pressures, unfulfilled from personal relationships, haunted by previous mistakes and poor choices and generally worthless as a person. It was on these days that I would take to the bottle. All day. And those days were happening more and more often, and it was taking more and more booze to "shut off".

I knew when I stopped drinking all together that the next time one of these days rolled around I would have to figure out a way to get through it, without the escape I got from the booze.

Today was that day. A cold, rainy day in an otherwise normally sunny Southern California. At first I resigned myself to just staying in bed and watching movies. But half way through the day that just didn't seem like it was going to do the trick and I got this unbelievably strong urge to buy a bottle and nurse it the rest of the day.

I was just about to do it when something stopped me. I went into the chat room and voiced my urges. I asked "what do you do to stop drinking on the days where you wake up and just don't care?". I said the only thing preventing me was that I didn't want to ruin my ten days.

Then someone came on and said, "and you don't want to ruin the person you've become in those ten days". It bought tears to my eyes and talked me down off the ledge.

So I would just like to say how much I appreciate this site and those of you on it who continue to help us newbies. Today I dodged a huge bullet. One of many to come, I can see that now. Thank you....
sunset2000 is offline  
Old 12-30-2009, 06:46 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Owner of a strange glitch.
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: midsouth
Posts: 2,331
Welcome to SR, Sunset

I'm glad you came into chat... I wasn't there for your story, but I was there for your epiphany--it made me smile too.

'Cause I'm living in that same bleak So-Cal rain.

Baby steps when you have to... just keep going forward.

Take care,
TB
thirtybubba is offline  
Old 12-30-2009, 06:48 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 204,886
I'm glad you dodged that bullet too sunset

D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 12-30-2009, 06:55 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
 
Sneezy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 5,276
Thanks, Sunset ... I'm only four days in and have the very same feeling. Things are going along pretty well, only a few mild cravings ... but I know that day is coming and I'm really afraid of it, and afraid of myself and how I'll deal with it. When you described today, and your reaction to what the chat friend said, I definitely heard you and will not forget those words of wisdom.

I wish you all the best on the path and please keep coming back. I'm a newbie here too and know that I've been blessed to have found SR!
Sneezy is offline  
Old 12-30-2009, 07:02 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Anna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 58,655
Welcome Sunset,

I have been around here for a long time, and there are miracles that happen here every day.

I hope you keep reading and posting.
Anna is online now  
Old 12-30-2009, 07:03 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Nonexistent Willpower
 
Stereosteveo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Texas
Posts: 439
I like the 1-day-at-a-time deal.

In early sobriety sometimes when I would struggle I would say: "OK I haven't been sober in 20 years. I'm just going to do this sober deal for 1 solid year. Then I'm done." That seemed to help sometimes for some reason.
Stereosteveo is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 08:29 AM.